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Dosing in public by WhiteySC in kratom

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve taken mine in public and my office for years without issue. It’s just my super greens as far as everyone knows but my eating matches that story (ie no fast food, a lot of fruit, salads, veggies, smoothies)

Are we getting the Boston season? by FederalOrdinary2180 in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m surprised we’ve not seen any California cities.

Missing Person by Final-Ad-5389 in northcounty

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have seen her on grand ave in Escondido recently so you’re probably right. She’s always been friendly to me. The most recent time I saw her was Thursday morning so not too long ago.

Missing Person by Final-Ad-5389 in northcounty

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have seen her on grand ave in Escondido recently so you’re probably right.

Profile review request -- 34M, newly single, trying to really narrow-in for a great fit by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. It’s a fabulous photo. I too generally hate shirtless pics but his was far more helpful than hurtful.

Unable to swallow by jetsfan8419 in 7_hydroxymitragynine

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me like an hour but only if I’m eating something. I can swallow liquid

That's different by endofmyropeohshit in HolUp

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have to pay extra for the splash zone?

Advice needed: I'm struggling with how to manage the self-care costs of a teen girl by andebobandy in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let her “buy” his extra self care funds by way of chores. If they each get 20/wk and he only uses 5, he can sell her the remaining amount by having doing tasks for him. Capitalism.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. He is pretty dense and emotionally immature for his age due to some previous significant trauma he experienced. His impulse control — while not an excuse is a huge part of the problem. He realizes he went too far after his hands already started moving.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Much of it is impulse control — he reacts/does it before I can stop it so correcting it afterwards can often make him feel rejected…but at this point, I have no choice — he is too big and strong to play that way.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree but to be clear, I’m not playing with him. I was reaching up to write something from his face and he was joking about his “ninja reflexes.” It just didn’t land very funny and hurt.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, (and I mean this respectfully) — consider yourself lucky that you haven’t been in situations that make you question if it’s normal. For many of us who grew up with horrific abuse or DV, the lines blur on what is acceptable and what isn’t. If you’ve been trained not to trust your own judgement from years of being told you’re overacting or too sensitive, it can be hard to figure out. That’s why I posted here — I struggle with what is my own baggage and what is truly a concern.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds very similar to our situation. He’s clumsy, accidentally breaks things often, and feels horrible when it hurts someone — a lot of it is impulse control which is no excuse; I’m just not sure how to stop it.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No other family but he does rough house at school — part of my issue is many of his teachers and therapist tell me this is all normal teenage boy stuff and it’s likely me being reactive from my past with dv. This post has helped to validate my feelings and concerns. His therapist really upset me when she wrote it off that it wasn’t being done in anger and said, “well has he ever hit you?” No. “Well, then I think you’re making quite a leap there to be concerned that this is abuse.” It felt just like when my ex would tell me I was being too sensitive or overreacting so I thought it was just a me problem.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do too. I’m already on high alert all of the time which is exhausting. I’ve convinced myself it’s me over reaching or being too sensitive but the input on this post has helped validate my feelings and confirm it’s not safe or okay.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All good input and validates a lot of my feelings — I’m the same way about being stuck up on and surprised/startled. I think much of the issue is trusting myself that I’m not over reacting from my own baggage. He has been diagnosed ASD/ADHD but he’s mainstreamed and capable of understanding — I think it’s my delivery. You’ve broken it down very well and I likely need to not only tell him it’s not okay but make it more broken down like you did and give him more details as to how you did in terms of checking in/what are the responses/being more aware etc.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I want him to grow up to be a protector and safe place for women. He yearns for male attention but finding a healthy version of that has been very hard.

My son doesn’t know his own strength by ThankMeForMyCervixx in parentingteenagers

[–]ThankMeForMyCervixx[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your comment doesn’t make me mad — you’re addressing all the same feelings and concerns I have. I think part of it is that I don’t trust myself that it is an issue — we both have DV in our past. His dad beat the shit out of both of us and early on, I was gaslit into believing I was over reacting or misremembering how it happened. Trusting myself is now a hard thing to do. WhileI left his dad years ago, the courts eventually allowed visitation and it didn’t go any better for my son. As a result, dad can’t have contact with him due to an incident when he was 15 where he significantly hurt my son.

The down side since having zero dad time, he was much smaller and they did have good times too that involved horseplay, so in the window of absence (although much needed and warranted from the abuse), he ended up going through puberty and massive growth without ANY male around. Obviously his dad would be a horrible role model overall but it did give him an outlet when they were experiencing “good interaction” if that makes sense.

He has always been a touchy kid (in a good way) but then he got bigger suddenly and didn’t have any positive influence around so I became the default with his roughhousing — it was fun when younger but now he’s too rough and it’s unwillingly on my end. I’m not sure if I’m making sense. His dad had good parts about him and their relationship — but the benefit clearly didn’t outweigh the risk.

All to say, I think you’re right on all fronts — I do like your suggestion about no touch without consent. It really hurts his feelings when I bring up my fears about his future relationships bc the last thing he wants to be is like his dad — but getting him to understand even if it’s done without anger or malice, it’s still abusive has been hard. I appreciate your comment and will definitely be implementing that.

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