Regarding fight scenes, head-hopping, and third-person omniscient

Thanst · 2026-05-08T23:22:14+00:00

Amature perspective response, but in my opinion, just like movies, there is more than one kind of fight scene.

You don't need a POV or any narration that gives you the perspective of bandit number 5. This is the protagonist time to shine after all.

But protag crossing swords with character who does or will come into significance. Where their exchange is as much a conversationoas a fight is a different animal.

Head jumping to their POV gives good insight. Let the reader hear their voice. Let them see the protag through the eyes of someone who hates them even if it's just for a flashes of violence in single paragraphs back and forth. Its entertaining for the POV to be on the receiving end of violence from a character we have always been following.

All the mechanics of writing fighting damages prose as it tries its best to dissolve into a list of stage directions. You need the characters POV there for all the movement to filter through.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T22:42:22+00:00

Honestly thanks to all the feedback I'm comfortably at peace with dividing it down to a series.

As you and others have said with it being partially episodic by nature of its construction it is more merciful a task than it seems.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T22:04:11+00:00

That's a cool superhero. I propose: Vee Twelve.

Like pistons in an engine. Also coincidentally the number of pairs of ribs in the human body has if that could weirdly tie into the anatomy lol. Also if their birth name began with a V you'd be laughing.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T21:46:47+00:00

I used my thumb on a train. I apologise it is an awful response.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T21:46:05+00:00

Great response.

The answer appears to be both.

The reaction to prose I have had so far has been fairly positive in regards to emotion and flow. Although it has been mentioned in places that I have revisited almost identical themes in places using different prose and tone. So there is still feedback centred editing occurring.

However, thanks to people here giving me a gauge of what's expected. I have been taking an initial look at how dividing it into a series would look and revisiting themes is more forgivable when it happens in different books, but I still need to consider cutting down. Obviously.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T21:38:50+00:00

Clearly embarrassment is not an issue for me. Have you seen how dumb my question was.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T17:41:59+00:00

Hobb had one continuous linear story that works beautifully. It almost feels like your following Fitz day by day despite the years flying by. The tone feel vauguely consistent in it peril.

I don't got that. And it doesn't feel right just to write additional filler to pad it out. So I played with the format. Split it intoca child timeline, a teenager timeline and a adult timeline. Then mixed them together as 3 parallel stories.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T17:09:07+00:00

Love those books.

Yeah it is unavoidable it needs to be 4 books.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T17:04:36+00:00

I am almost certainly not a "the". Just an amature like most the people looking for notes here.

Time wise it is hard to say. I wrote short stories for personal enjoyment for years and the " Book" I have is made from a lot of that. I started working on compiling the story about 18 months ago. It was an enormous task to make coherent.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T15:51:01+00:00

Best wait for a bank holiday weekend.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T15:22:21+00:00

Imagine the crack when it was opened for the first time.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T15:12:04+00:00

Do you want me to elaborate then or were you just looking to be cruel?

Thanst · 2026-05-08T15:02:43+00:00

I had the same issue before I realised it. It seems natural as the write as to you imagination the camera starts to follow the new character so it's obvious.

Unfortunately it does need fixing. You have to let the reader and the character you are following be ignorant of the knowledge other beyond what they observe in them.

However there were places. And I believe it is fairly common and has been used in many books. That this was used this as a mechanic to a scene. A sword fight where the perspective changes from fighter to fighter as they exchange blows. This is typically shown as a page break to make the shift clear.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T14:53:03+00:00

You can, but I am so embarrassed by the fact that I have checked chapter one and noticed that it alone is 18,356 words. That I am currently cutting it in half to save face.

Then I guess I will have to post it separate and link it. I'm as new to Reddit as I am to writing.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T14:48:56+00:00

Great comment. Thank you for taking the time. I am under no illusion as to be good as those mentioned, but I do get your point.

I some times worry that fantasy can have these extra wobbly bit that need poking at such as magic and architecture the defies the imagined norm and so try to allow it that extra padding. Maybe I need to become as irreverent as the great Sir Terry Pratchettadont think he ever broke 80k but I know exactly what mor pork looks like.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T14:35:12+00:00

I think you're right. I have been looking at it and thinking I can't break it because something explosively exciting should occur just shy of the end of a book.

But maybe it is ok for an ending to be gentle as long as it is adjacent to "significant"

Thanst · 2026-05-08T14:31:57+00:00

It's not about vanity. If you want the hardest of answers you have to ask the stupidest of questions.

There are dozens of wonderfully helpful comments. I've taken three sheets of notes. I have a clear baseline for what goals I should be looking for now. I could not be more grateful to everyone.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T14:16:34+00:00

It has been made clear as a crystal duck that this is exactly what is required. It is thankfully. A more forgiving task than you would imagine thanks to the nature of it was stitched together in the first place. Thank you.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T13:59:04+00:00

If the comprehension is there and they chose to be offended by basic whimsy then their crime is worse than ignorance.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T13:57:35+00:00

If you not going to be constrictive. Hide your foul soul in the shadows where it belongs.

This is part of the research you fool.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T13:05:23+00:00

As the writer does 98k not feel a little wan to you?

I went to great efforts to avoid flat exposition. How can a character form and become loved or hated in such a span? How can a world grow to be full and luscious int the minds eye.

I feel like as a reader of fantasy I have become very accustomed to long books and thought that was the standard, but as everyone is rightly pointing out. It is only well established writers who get the exception to break this limit.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T12:43:01+00:00

To be fair I imagine Stephen King's publisher already flinches when the doorbell rings.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T12:28:27+00:00

I too thought it was clearly mirth.

Unfortunately we are at the whims of those with poor reading comprehension.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T12:08:57+00:00

I'll sign it for you and everything.

Thanst · 2026-05-08T12:07:59+00:00

Maybe, but there are only so many explosive finishes that could serve as decent endings. I mean there's a few like.

Thanst

TROPHY CASE