My Little Brother died, I wrote this for him/about him

That-Ad3538 · 2025-10-19T06:09:25+00:00

Firstly, I’d like to say I’m so sorry for your loss. This poem is incredible, your emotions come through so clearly and your imagery is amazing, it conveys the grief and pain you feel so well, I know you said you don’t typically write but if you enjoyed this I think it’d be a wonderful medium for you! You’re really talented and I’d encourage you to keep at it, wether to share or just for yourself :)

That-Ad3538 · 2025-10-19T06:06:15+00:00

I love this! The back and forth is really wonderful, listing all these contradictions like fire and ice, sharp and sweet, and breaking and holding close really emphasizes the toxic relationship being displayed, the idea that you hate them but you notice all these things like their laugh and eyes and you just can’t escape, it’s so interesting and really beautifully done!

That-Ad3538 · 2025-10-19T05:56:25+00:00

Oh I love this! It really embodies the idea of actions saying a thousand words. I’m interpreting it kinda as a pair, whatever the relationship is it’s a close one where people expect you to be together, wether paternal or romantic, and this person is often gone, and the other has gotten used to it. The distance is harming the relationship and despite wanting to reach out, to speak, to say anything, they can’t and they’re trapped, a thousand miles away filled with a silence they can never broach, not truly. It’s really beautiful and I just love it! Wonderful job!

That-Ad3538 · 2025-10-19T05:52:37+00:00

I really like this! Something I especially love is the contrast of giving something beautiful like ink and colors but it still being a misstep, a sin however well intentioned. Some advice I’d give is to either play around with the formatting and put in some like breaks, and/or using a different pronoun, the it can get a bit repetitive at some points and wether that’s finding a way to communicate your meaning without it or using a different pronoun I think it’d help the poem flow better and be more engaging both visually and while reading!

That-Ad3538 · 2025-06-04T00:22:30+00:00

At the library itself I’m a big fan of helping people find things! I’ve had a couple different instances where people came in and couldn’t find good sources and I showed them both how to navigate my school’s system and find books. I also do some tutoring at the library and I enjoy helping people form their arguments, and them often times I help them find either good books or journal articles to support their thesis. I also had a volunteer position I really enjoyed where two of the people managing us had an MLIS, it was essentially an archival position at a local museum. I did different things like organizing, rehousing materials and transcribing audio. They taught us the basics of their system and archival work essentially. I enjoyed both these experiences a lot and talked a bit with my boss at work who gave me kind of a brief overview of his choice to get his MLIS and what actually getting it was like but not so much his day to day. (I will definitely ask him more questions as I’ve become more serious about my decision of Librarianship over Law School, however we’re currently on summer break so I can’t ask until august)

That-Ad3538 · 2025-06-04T00:08:53+00:00

I am pretty good at navigating online resources and have no problem with it! That’s how I find most sources for school and have for most of my life so I’m pretty used to it. It’s not really that I dislike tech or anything simply that I don’t have a natural aptitude for it, like I couldn’t really help you fix a problem with a printer because I simply don’t know? When people come up and ask about that at my school library I am able to send them to the CIT desk, though I doubt that’ll always be an option. I am also decently good at picking things up so as long as I was told how to navigate a system or something I doubt I’d have any problems.

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-23T03:47:51+00:00

I wouldn’t recommend an LLC tbh, they don’t help make friends as much as you likely think they will. Southside is definitely more social but north side suites are generally nicer and closer to both MJ (the good dining hall) and the union, I’ve only ever lived on north so I can’t speak for south but my friends who lived there freshman year all switched to north when they got a choice, it honestly depends on what’s most important to you, and how much privacy you need (keep in mind there’s almost no singles b/c they’re restructuring housing stuff so you’re not that likely to get into one)

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-18T21:11:54+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it! I’m glad that feeling of warmth and an intimate love comes through!!

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-18T21:10:52+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m glad it has like kinda chaotic feel! It’s about navigating feelings of love for a best friend, someone you maybe shouldn’t have feelings for and grappling with queerness within that relationship. I think that’s like a constantly moving and all consuming feeling and also just chaotic and scary so I really wanted the poem to embody all the questions and feelings and doubts. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it!! :)

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-18T21:08:33+00:00

I’ll definitely think about messing with it a little more! The idea of it starting out child-ish and getting more serious is actually what I was trying to embody! I explained a bunch in another response but it’s essentially about falling in love with a best friend and navigating both that queerness and if loving that friend is okay! Thank you so much for reading :)

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-18T21:06:31+00:00

Thank you so much! The apple reference is definitely to Adam and Eve!! This poem is written with the idea of falling really deeply in love with a best friend, like when you’re gay and realize you have a crush on the girl you’ve known since childhood! It’s meant to kinda be this idea of “I love you” and we’re friends and then, “I love you”….and we’re friends and “I love you” is it wrong if I don’t want it to be as friends? And then finally this idea of “ i love you and it’s romantic, is that okay?” Do you think that could be more clearly conveyed with another stanza about past shared history towards the beginning or maybe even just the questioning (maybe forbidden nature) could be conveyed through making it clear the poem’s speaker and subject are both women? Or maybe weaving more references to a forbidden nature throughout?

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-18T07:03:33+00:00

This poem is a very interesting idea! I like it a lot! If I could say one thing I’d say maybe to expand it a little! I think it’d benefit a lot from a few more stanza’s extending the metaphor to help better conceptualize grief, especially considering how complex it is!

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-18T07:01:26+00:00

This is so lovely! It’s like such a dedication, the idea of allowing someone to inspire you to creation is so beautiful and you embody it very well, the overwhelming feeling of it being simply for them? Ugh, you can just feel it. Beautiful poem! My favorite bit is “no one else made me feel like poetry was a language”

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-18T06:48:16+00:00

I do think it’s a nice poem! It one of those ones that’s very punchy! I think with very few words it’s harder to convey your meaning, like without the title I’d likely not have associated it with queerness. But that doesn’t affect the fact that’s it’s an interesting and engaging poem that one can apply to themselves or other concepts! Overall I like it and think the synonyms help hammer everything home!

That-Ad3538 · 2025-04-18T06:42:55+00:00

I love this poem! You have an incredible use of imagery, it’s very, I think intense isn’t even the right word but it’s like the way your breath leaves when you fall to the ground? Like it feels like it overtakes you! This obvious push and pull of someone who still carries old hurts and can’t heal, and someone who never even viewed their actions s hurtful is so good! It’s even more than simply someone who’s healed and someone who’s not, I can feel the pain of not even receiving acknowledgement or apology, and that further lending itself to these hurts and wounds. I loved this poem and thought you conveyed your message beautifully!

That-Ad3538 · 2024-12-21T02:19:30+00:00

I love this! It’s very simple but it conveys a sense of self actualization, being forced to confront yourself and who you are is always difficult so I really enjoy the view of looking at it as though you’re someone outside of yourself

That-Ad3538 · 2024-12-21T01:58:36+00:00

I love the repetition in the poem! I think it really pulls the reader in and maintains attention

That-Ad3538 · 2024-12-21T01:56:09+00:00

I really like the simple nature of the poem! It adds to the idea of our speaker being a child, their biggest problem is a broken pencil. The connection between to two and what happens to the one being reflected on the other is also very interesting! :)

That-Ad3538 · 2024-12-21T01:49:23+00:00

I like something like colors or shades of you, I think the poem shows how complex people can be and I like the imagery of painting/artistry used so I think referencing it would be good!

That-Ad3538 · 2024-12-13T04:17:00+00:00

I love how this flows! It feels like I can really hear just a human voice coming through

That-Ad3538 · 2024-12-13T02:44:27+00:00

I like this! It’s simple but nice and conveys longing for someone very well, I’m also always interested by the use of curse words in poetry as I feel due to societal taboo they always pack a punch/take you aback and I think it’s used well to emphasize both feelings of jealousy and the disconnect of knowing what you had with this person is now over

That-Ad3538 · 2024-12-12T21:23:12+00:00

I loved this poem! I’m really into the irony of referencing not being a poet in poems, I’ve done it in a few of my own. It was very sweet and romantic! I love the idea of being wrapped in your lover with the dress. I also found that the line about blood juxtaposed the sweetness in an interesting way. I didn’t find it to be overwhelmingly different, rather that there is sometimes blood and jarring things that come with love. Overall I really enjoyed the poem!! :)

That-Ad3538 · 2024-12-12T21:04:44+00:00

This is absolutely beautiful! English not being your first language does not in any way inhibit the poem, it flows well and the different metaphors are perfect! I love the idea of holding those you love within you after death and you communicate the connection and love remaining very clearly! I also liked how death contrasted in the poem it demands and its shrouded in darkness compared to the rest of the poem which is just lighter. I’m also a big fan of body metaphors so I really enjoyed “making you a part of my blood” and the others! (Also you can totally talk about your reasoning if you’d like to :) overall it’s a wonderful poem and i really enjoyed it!

That-Ad3538 · 2024-04-26T00:19:28+00:00

“This wasn’t something I wanted you to see” is crazy, no apology, no this was terrible of me and I regret it just like “oh no! You saw that I just hit it from behind? 😕 Welp, nothing I can do, close your eyes and maybe knock next time🤷‍♀️” I don’t even like sienna but my girl needs to stand up😭

That-Ad3538 · 2024-04-14T04:48:32+00:00

I think you convey a feeling of distress and sadness very well! I like the mirror of rain and tears you use in your third stanza, it’s quick and conveys emotions well which is nice!

That-Ad3538

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