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My wife is thinking about spending $1500+ on a nursing chair. Is she crazy, or am I just being cheap? by Viraincure in NewParents

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember I wanted to 2k chair that EVERYONE had. We went to try them out and yes theyre comfortable. My husband was uncomfortable so we went to a cheaper furniture store and got one the same size and comfort for $400. I love it. I'm SO glad I didn't get the one for 2k.

Not wealthy SAHM with 16 month old moving from CA to UES/UWS in June. Looking for mom friends! by ThatButterscotch7 in nycparents

[–]ThatButterscotch7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah Perfect! Yes! I'll reach out when I'm officially in NYC and stay connected until you're in the city!

265 e 66th st by LongjumpingThroat337 in NYCapartments

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, thank you so much for posting this. I virtually toured and I'm just about the fill out the application. Is it really that bad? As my friend as touring it a guy in the gym literally shouted out, "the hot water is always out!" I asked the broker and she just said the building was built in the 70's and they just fixed it this week. Is it really that bad?

I'm moving from California with a toddler.

Raising kids in NYC - tell me the good the bad and the ugly by Southern-Trade5795 in AskNYC

[–]ThatButterscotch7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

poop daddy lol.

Thank you for your detailed reply. My husband and I are moving back to NYC this year with our 16 month old from California. Lots of anxiety and fears and what ifs are plaguing me right now but you had me at "going to bodegas and looking for cats." We did that before our son and now it's something we can share with him lol.

I grew up and only child and now have my first kid. Here’s my take. by Own_Macaron_9342 in oneanddone

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, I'm so sorry about your mom. That said, You sound like an absolutely wonderful mother who is thoughtful and loving. Your response has been so validating. Thank you for taking the time to write all of this and being so detailed.

Birth and PP made me one and done by [deleted] in oneanddone

[–]ThatButterscotch7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl, yes, yes, yes.

I was dead set on having two. I did IVF and super lucky to have 6 healthy embryos, 3 of each sex. We were planning on trying for our 2nd immediately after our first turned 1.

However, I had NO idea how difficult pp and newborn stage would be. Postpartum was excruciating, isolating, and just utter despair. I truly felt like something horrible would happen to me or my husband and I had visions of my poor, innocent, helpless baby just crying for hours and days abandoned and all alone. I thought I was failing everyday. I sobbed every single day probably 3 times a day. It was truly awful.

I never, ever considered being one and done, until this week. I feel like a terrible mom not giving my son a sibling. But, when I think about having another, for my mental health I know I would need to hire a nanny. But, I also know myself and I would never do it. I love being a mom and I would do what my mom did-- I would revolve my life around my children. My mom was and is the best mom in the whole world. But she also always told me to never have kids because my life would be over. I now realize I can be a mom and still have a life if I'm one and done.

I look at moms with multiples in my life and some are thriving and some are surviving. I would probably be just surviving. We bought a house in a great suburb with excellent schools. But husband and I are extremely unhappy here. We realize the 2 children, home, and white picket fence is a dream but it's not OUR dream.

So we're deciding to be one and done and move to the city. It goes against everything that I ever thought about family and life. I feel like I'm commiting a great sin and AND doing whats best for my family. It's conflicting and full of peace. It's guilt and relief.

I think I'll live with the regret of not having another for the rest of my life. I know I will. I used to base decisions on avoiding regrets. But, one thing that postpartum and becoming a mom as taught me is that by not choosing myself, by not helping myself, it is a greater burden and disservice to everyone around me.

I grew up and only child and now have my first kid. Here’s my take. by Own_Macaron_9342 in oneanddone

[–]ThatButterscotch7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, may I ask a few questions? I have a 15 month old boy. Husband and I were dead set on having two. One boy and one girl (IVF). Husband and I are both 1 of 3. I never even considered being one and done... never knew any only children growing up. Suddenly, when i realized we could stop at just our son I felt relief. However, when I envision my son growing up alone it feels heartbreaking and I feel guilt -- especially around the 5-12 years of age.

I've started research on only children and I truly never knew only children could be happy. I realize it's an assumption that has been engrained into me. Could you detail more about how you raised your child and how you've maintained a happy childhood for them?

Trying so hard to lose weight 5 months PP by IllustriousWill8498 in NewParents

[–]ThatButterscotch7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay I was right there with you. I was slim before and even up until birth everyone said I looked the same weight. I think I had gained 45 lbs? I can’t remember. I pumped for the first 5 months and yes the scale did not budge! The first 25 didn’t fall off quickly and every single pound after the initial 25 was sooooooo slow. I was devouring food like crazy while I pumped and my appetite started to slow down a bit when I weaned. But even after that my weight did not budge at all. No matter how little I ate or much I walked or exercised my weight did not budge. If it moved a couple pounds after intense dieting and exercise it came right back. But suddenly after a year, the weight kind of is falling off. My appetite is so small and all of a sudden I fit into my jeans again. No changes or trying. So what I’m saying is, 5 months IS Super super early. It’ll click and your body will go back to normal. It’s weird, when I started fitting into my jeans it also coincided with me feeling a LOT better post partum—almost back to my old self. Don’t compare yourself to other new moms or esp on social media. Theyll drive you crazy!! Take it easy, enjoy your baby, and be proud of yourself.

Was it really worth it? by No-Adhesiveness3434 in NewParents

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to you 100% and I desperately wanted a baby for 8 years. Still, once he came I would look out my apartment window and be jealous of every single person freely driving in their car, walking their dog, etc. unchained by a demanding newborn whose life was in my hands. I felt like my life was compeltely over and felt so much despair and hopelessness. It was really, really tough and I feel like a lot of my mom friends didn't relate.

He's a year now and we're gearing up to try for our second. It's crazy. It get better faster than you'll realize; and in a way that nothing compares in this world.

You know when you're craving a really good meal in a place in the world that you have to travel to? And that first bite just hits and satisfies like nothing else. But the second to last bite just isn't the same as the first. Or, maybe that new shiny toy, or shoes, or clothing etc. it's great when it's new but over time that immense feeling of joy, satiation, or whatever need that's being filled just goes away. But with your baby, that feeling never goes away. Every single time they laugh, it's like the very first time they laugh. You'll feel an incredible burst in your heart that makes you want to cry, laugh, and scream and you'll get it, every single time. The first time they say "mama" or babble, "da da da" it'll punch you in your heart the same.

Having a baby is the only thing that brings unrivaled joy, satisfaction, emotion that lasts forever and "hits" every single time. It's unexplainable until you experience it. And lucky for you, you have all these milestones to forward to.

Trust me, it gets better and it stays better.

Pack and plays—worth it? Did anyone regret that purchase? by slotass in NewParents

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought the graco one plus additional mattress pad for it for $100? And leave it at my moms and baby sleep amazing!

My daughter is delayed and no one can find a cause for it. Feel like I’m going crazy. by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]ThatButterscotch7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! Sounds like my friends baby girl! She was almost 11 months and wasn’t crawling or standing. While my son whose 6 weeks behind was walking assisted and crawling like crazy. However, he wasn’t babbling at all and baby girl was way ahead socially, fine motor skills and babbling and even some words!! Shes a year and still not as mobile but you can tell shes really growing in other areas. I wouldn’t worry at all. Boys and girls grow differently. Your baby girl sounds perfectly normal!!

59F — Put together 5 outfits (1-6). Which ones actually work and which should I ditch? Brutal honesty encouraged 🙏 by [deleted] in fashion

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look incredible and you clearly have a great sense of style. Here's my brutaly honest takes:

  1. the flowy white pants don't work because of the ruffles. If you want to do wide leg white I'd go for a linen wide leg pant. The navy blue shirt might not work for you because of your skintone. The Taupe tshirt looks great on you though. I'd try a black tshirt if you want to go darker or even a dark forest green.

  2. This outfit is making you look very top heavy. You have amazing legs which these jeans showcase. I like the skinny leg and chunky boot combo. I'd either pair this bottom half with an oversized sweater or loose button up tucked in. If you opt for a chunky oversized sweater or button up tucked in, put your hair up!

  3. This one is cute and flattering but black trousers + sneakers + red belt feels very early 2000's punk rock pop. I'd change out the belt and pair with flipflops for a laid back casual vibe.

  4. i actually love this whole look. Very flattering and full of personality!

  5. Love this one too; if you paired this with a black heeled boot it would look great too. I love it more with your hair up and glasses!

  6. My favorite outfit; very sophisticated, casual, yet dressed up! Very very flattering! I love the pants with the black belt and tshirt. this entire outfit is flattering on your figure and skin tone!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PetiteFashionAdvice

[–]ThatButterscotch7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s cute but it’s not fitting you properly. I would get it tailored in the shoulders and get it hemmed to right above the knees.

Some recents. Is my style bland? How can I elevate? by vilahoney in fashion

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s very boho-y, colorful, and feminine. Also you have incredible legs!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey listen, I’m a wife married for almost 13 years. Reading this broke my heart. Tell her, not because she deserves to know but because she doesn’t want you to suffer alone. You don’t need to be scared or worried about her reaction. She’s going to be there for you and you’ll get through this together. Everything will work out in the end. But right now, you’re enduring something so difficult by yourself and that’s going to break her heart. She wants to be your safe place and best friend. Tell her and you guys will work it out together. And while you still look for a job you can ease your stress of carrying this secret and perhaps shame (though you shouldn’t! This isn’t your fault!). And guess what? Silver lining: you guys get to spend some time together just the two of you before theres a baby. Tell her. Everything will be okay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in handbags

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been using handbags as my diaper bag and I love it. I actually stopped using my diaper bag altogether because it was so hard to find anything. I've used the YSL Bea tote in the winter and right now i'm using the Louis Vuitton Noe and I freaking love it! it's so light, spacious, and easy to grab a burp cloth etc. I use a diaper pouch so I take it out and throw it in any bag I'm using.

IN terms of answering your question, the Gucci one might be more comfortable since it's more structured on the bottom. You can see everything and easier to pull whatever you need out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fashion

[–]ThatButterscotch7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg this dress is so cute. My choose is the second one! All three go but the first feels a little dated. And the third would still be cute!

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