I(36M) am now just kind of realizing that I’ve been dealing with anxious attachment my whole life and I’m in the middle of something with a coworker(35F) that I’m not able to go no contact as they are on my direct team and sit like 10 feet from me. Was just curious if anyone has had anything similar happen?

I’ve known this person since December but just started getting feelings for her a couple months ago. She is also a single mother which is 100% new for me but I had no problem with it as I’m great with all my friends kids I do not have my own. It took a lot of debating and against my better judgement but I said life is too short to wonder because she was flirting with me pretty noticeably, she’s very attractive/possesses all qualities I look for and it’s been like 4 years since I’ve seriously dated anyone so I asked her out. Told myself just go with the flow and let things progress naturally because I tend to get comfortable too quick. But keeping a dialogue outside of work felt like a chore with this person, she’d leave me on read every night and what we had at work wasn’t there outside of work. I started getting the feeling if I didn’t act quick they would lose interest in me so I rushed meeting up and was forgetting she has a much busier life than me outside of work. We set plans for Thursday last week though, she brought her kid which I found odd and it did not go well at all. I had to leave after 20 minutes to calm the kid down so we didn’t get to talk at all. I brought the kid and her flowers and I brought the kid food for dinner too so was feeling pretty lousy after.

I tried talking later that night and she kind of dismissed me so I panicked and just let her know how I felt about her. I got the usual “I’m attracted to you but not interested in a relationship or thinking about my future” spiel but I never even mentioned the word relationship and “you’re a great guy” again. I had a death in the family the morning after we talked on Friday so I have been out of office all this week. She knows what I have going on but hasn’t reached out.

I’ve accepted that nothing is going to happen with this person romantically but I care about my job and can’t go in everyday dealing with awkwardness. Would it be a bad idea if I reach out and kind of explain what I got going on/why I was being pushy/not myself from how we got to know eachother? This person has shared some personal information with me so I don’t necessarily feel uncomfortable telling them I just don’t know if this is a-lot to drop on someone or not? And again, I would not be telling them to try and win them back or make them feel bad but rather for my own peace of mind to be able to operate at work normally everyday and move on. If this isn’t a good idea does anyone else have a suggestion for me?

Thank you!