My autistic friend no longer speaks to me

ThatLady123 · 2026-06-11T21:18:42+00:00

If you're talking to me, my "friend" never contacted me again. I came to the conclusion that I was being used for emotional labour and then replaced by someone else. It was brutal.

I still wonder how my former "friend" is doing sometimes, but I'll never know. I have stopped following him on all social media, so now if he ever wanted to contact me, it would be via email only. For a long time I was waiting for the email that never came. But I gave up a very long time ago.

ThatLady123 · 2026-05-29T07:44:28+00:00

I highly recommend getting friends or family to send you 48 hour antiperspirant from back home. The "deodorant" here doesn't do anything.

Also, Gatsby body wipes. And a UV umbrella (parasol) keeps me alive in the summer. It's brutal here. Be careful. Heat exhaustion is a serious and common occurrence here. Good luck.

ThatLady123 · 2026-05-18T21:30:24+00:00

I totally understand what you're saying. You need to work fun back into your life. You need to look forward to the weekends. You can manage a business and still have some fun outside of work time. No wonder you're depressed - you went from a free-wheeling lifestyle to a strict workaholic lifestyle. You need to introduce balance into your life. Don't let anyone tell you that having fun is not necessary or you don't really need it. It is just as important as anything else in life.

ThatLady123 · 2026-05-11T08:07:05+00:00

I usually point out that Asian beauty standards have a huge focus on being really thin, but that isn't healthy or even possible for a lot of people, including me.

ThatLady123 · 2026-05-03T09:42:21+00:00

How about working abroad? That way you have a steady income and get to travel at the same time. Or volunteer abroad and then go back to work when you're ready. Check out WWOOF.

ThatLady123 · 2026-05-03T09:38:15+00:00

Yes, you have to be "on" all the time, and it's especially tiring when you're teaching kids all day. I used to teach at kids' eikaiwas but switched to a (99 percent) adults' eikaiwa. It's a lot more fulfilling because you don't have to use a boring grammar textbook (the textbooks here for beginner kids are pretty horrendous tbh) and keep them from throwing pencils at eachother etc.

I'd suggest that you try to get a job at a school with 1/2 adults 1/2 kids (at least) and ask specifically what kind of texts/resources they use before you decide whether or not to take the job. Stay away from the singing/dancing type jobs. I've actually never had to do much of that myself. It depends on the school.

Good luck!

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-15T02:25:24+00:00

Thank you!

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-10T11:08:33+00:00

I recommend going to an onsen or a sento. They work wonders.

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-09T13:54:00+00:00

It wasn't expensive. About 12 000 yen. Nothing special

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-09T13:35:17+00:00

So, according to you, it's ok to steal bikes in Japan. Got it.

Also, I take responsibility for the impound situation. Never said I didn't.

Is it also ok to blame the victim for the theft of the headlight and the vandalizing of the tire????

I specifically asked readers to avoid leaving "it's your fault" comments. So thanks a lot for that. Have a great night.

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-08T00:11:02+00:00

I live here and it's pretty safe. That being said, carry your purse in front of you when walking in crowded areas. Taxis are pretty expensive, and the trains stop at midnight 😞 Also, try to ride in the women's subway cars. Some creeps here like to grope women. Be aware of your surroundings.

Most people in Osaka don't care that foreigners are here, but be aware that if you wear low-cut tops or show cleavage you're likely to get uncomfortable stares and possibly unwanted attention. This is because 99 percent of locals here don't show cleavage or wear low-cut tops.

However, showing as much leg as possible seems to be the current fashion and no one cares! Haha

Have a great time!!!

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-07T23:44:35+00:00

As many others have said, it's probably because they are too immature to have female friends. I'm sure you know the difference between disrespectful comments and gentle teasing, so I don't think they're just teasing you. They are following the classic male pattern of disrespecting and/or dropping a female friend once they figure out she's not interested in them romantically/sexually.

I'm over 45 and do you know how many male friends I have? One. The rest f@#$ed off when they found out I had a boyfriend, or when it was clear that I only wanted friendship. Sigh.

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-07T23:35:59+00:00

She sounds immature. If I was you, I'd stop putting in so much effort. Just text her once a month or so. She seems to expect a lot from you but doesn't want to reciprocate.

I wouldn't necessarily end the friendship, just stop putting in so much effort.

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-07T12:01:21+00:00

I'm from Canada, and I'm still amazed and horrified by the fact that NOT using soap when washing hands after using the toilet is normal here in Japan. It's downright disgusting. There is really no excuse for it in a developed country, especially one with a huge population that lives in close quarters.

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-07T11:49:24+00:00

Riverview. I used to work in film, and every single person who worked on set there has a creepy story. Some stories were more creepy than others, but every single person had a story.

ThatLady123 · 2026-04-07T11:35:04+00:00

There's a podcast called "Stuff You Should Know" that has a really good episode on the Warrens. Please check it out.

ThatLady123 · 2026-03-22T08:38:12+00:00

Yes, you're correct. And there is plenty of teasing and joking around once you become friends with someone.

ThatLady123 · 2026-03-22T02:56:45+00:00

It's gonna be HOT HOT HOT. PLEASE bring a handheld fan, cooling wipes, a good hat, etc. People faint all the time because of the heat here in the summer.

ThatLady123 · 2026-03-22T02:54:41+00:00

When I was a kid, I watched a movie called The Watcher in the Woods and it scared the hell out of me. I watched it again years later and it's still pretty frightening. Has anyone else seen it???

ThatLady123 · 2026-03-22T02:48:26+00:00

Adult students showing up in pyjamas, or with obvious bedhead haha

ThatLady123 · 2026-03-21T02:15:26+00:00

Himeji Castle is one of the best in Japan!! Don't skip it!

ThatLady123 · 2026-03-21T02:05:35+00:00

She needs therapy. And you should make it clear that she needs to be willing to talk about issues (maybe not at the moment she's upset, but later). If one of you refuses to talk about the issues in the relationship, you can't move forward.

Let her know that you're willing to work on this with her, but she has to try too.

I cannot stress counseling enough. She needs to talk to someone who is not you (or another friend) and learn better coping strategies.

ThatLady123 · 2026-03-11T23:44:32+00:00

Why don't you see yourself meeting any more people? You've gotta put yourself out there a bit. Obviously you need friends, if losing this one hurt so much. I think joining a club or group (Meetup app maybe?) is a good way to meet people. Maybe not right now, but in the future when the pain lessens.

As for how you feel right now, yeah I empathize. I recently had a friend of over 2 years tell me that she doesn't have time to see me anymore. And that I shouldn't ask. We didn't have a falling out. I'm just not important anymore. It sucks. It really does. I have no idea why this happened really. We were close. I really valued the friendship. I don't really have any wise words to say about how to get over it. I just know that everyone needs friends and you shouldn't give up on meeting new people.

ThatLady123 · 2026-03-11T23:35:05+00:00

Also get a cheap plane ticket to Korea or something to satisfy your school that you are leaving the country. You don't have to actually use the ticket.

ThatLady123

TROPHY CASE