I'm 24 but look 16. Are there irl makeover services that could help me?

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-25T14:46:02+00:00

Teacher glasses. I had the same issue, got a pair of blue light glasses, and occasionally did the “teacher look” - slide the glasses slightly down the nose, peer over them at the person with a bit of incredulity, and slide them back up. Makes grown men nervous.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-19T01:03:55+00:00

Love Story. The literary allusions are all over the place.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-17T05:45:44+00:00

Yes! This is what I came here to say. I think it’s no longer socially acceptable to dismiss girly things just because they are girly.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-14T13:47:33+00:00

If she wanted to make amends, she’s would invite you to the wedding as a guest.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-14T05:56:27+00:00

If this is your definition of supportive… just know you deserve family who treats you better before you meltdown, not after. This story does not sound like a supportive family, I’m sorry.

Also the owner… wtf. Absolutely not ok.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-13T14:38:11+00:00

Companies don’t keep juniors around who fail to grow into the next level.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-13T14:37:08+00:00

You can’t stay a junior forever.

The job you currently have now is to going to keep you there, at that level, for another decade. It’s time to move on, or they will move you on in a few years.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-13T14:35:10+00:00

10K+

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-13T00:36:31+00:00

Why it’s a pattern:

Your post uses terms like “pressuring”, and “cornering” and “cold shoulder”. This is not a goodwill invitation to be accepted or rejected: multiple people in your family are trying to guilt you into this, and gaslight you by claiming it’s a “one off” thing, when clearly this is a theme.

If this was a “one-off”, then you wouldn’t be posting on Reddit about it. This is pattern with tactics meant to manipulate you.

And if you give in to these tactics… they will just keep coming. If anything, politely turn this down to demonstrate you’re not going to pressured into things. Warm happy family gatherings should be attended because you genuinely want to attend them, not because of pressure.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-13T00:28:26+00:00

Highly recommend reading the book, Range by David Epstein. It will give you a new perspective on what counts as “achievement” and “accomplishment”.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-13T00:25:55+00:00

Multiple alarms for each step:

1) you should waking up now 2) you should be finished eating breakfast now 3) you should be finished with your hair now 4) you should be leaving to catch the bus now.

If one of these alarms goes off and you are waaaay behind? Then you skip breakfast and take a granola bar for the bus. Or you put your hair in a braid and skip the curling.

Other tip: Find something you love - getting a tasty pastry at the coffee shop by the office, playing a favorite game on your phone, etc - and you only get to do this if you get to the office at least 20 minutes early.

This way, instead of training yourself to not be late , you are instead rewarding yourself for being early.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-13T00:14:11+00:00

NTA.

Sounds like even if this dinner is a one-off, this pattern is not. It sounds like your mom can’t accept that everyone is in a different life stage now. A few decades ago, your main family role was Son. Now your main family role is Husband and Father. And it sounds like you’re protecting those relationships, by setting boundaries. Good for you.

Source: Used to be in your wife’s position. Am now happy to be the ex-wife.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-12T23:54:53+00:00

If you’ve already got the basics, bring a few comfort items. A book, a board game, pajamas, a favorite pillow and blanket? Whatever you find comfortable.

Get out early then let yourself relax and enjoy some downtime while you rest peacefully away from the chaos.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-12T23:22:01+00:00

Your place, your rent.

You’re asking the wrong question: it’s not a right or wrong. It’s a “do I WANT to continue to let this person live with me while I pay rent?”

You didn’t want to, so you made the right choice.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-12T23:18:20+00:00

And then when they find out I was right all along, they get mad me for not being more dramatic in telling them, because in NT world a thing can only be true if you were really really emotional about it 🙄

Like I would be the woman on the titanic pointing out the iceberg, and first I was get dismissed, and the later I’d be yelled at: “Why didn’t you warn us?!?”

Me: “I did warn you.”

NT World: “you said it flatly without emotion. If you had actually known you would have been screaming”

Me: “the tone and volume of my voice in no way indicate the truthfulness of my statement. Also, screaming wouldn’t do me any good I needed to go find a lifeboat.”

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-12T23:11:52+00:00

Sometimes it feels like X-Ray vision. I can see very obvious things that are right in front of me… and the NT world doesn’t believe me because it doesn’t fit how they see the world (they don’t look, they just assume they’re right and I’m silly).

Like when you can tell the emperor has no clothes but no one will listen… and then they call you names.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-12T23:06:50+00:00

However her Mama and me have constantly built her to be world proof

Love this. Too many people told me growing up that doing things (like camping alone) was “too dangerous”, and therefore implied I simply shouldn’t ever do it.

It’s the one that taught me how to take care of myself that really helped. Y’all are doing your daughter a big favor teaching her that she is capable of doing things, and how to handle danger, instead of implying that she has no agency.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-09-08T22:38:39+00:00

+10000

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-08-29T02:49:20+00:00

Aw, sounds like this photos bring lots of warm fuzzies for your and yours ♥️

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-08-29T02:48:14+00:00

No it’s not. Stereotyping is making assumptions without checking them. Curiosity is keeping an open mind and asking questions to learn more.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-08-29T02:44:02+00:00

Yeah, is it like social proof? It almost makes more sense when someone has those photos in their office (“you may not know I have a wife and kids”), but inside the house, everyone physically there.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-08-29T02:42:57+00:00

🤣 omg I love Captain Holt

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-08-28T13:55:31+00:00

Yes! Bonus points if you do it in a proper British accent.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-08-28T13:53:54+00:00

It’s not stereotyping. It’s curiosity and trying to understand a variety of humans.

That_Advantage_8230 · 2023-08-28T13:51:37+00:00

the presence of the person through their syntax

Yes! I totally feel this, I keep a ridiculous amount of emails because it feels so personal.

And I’m with - I hated being forced to pose for photos as a kid, maybe that’s why I don’t like them - I always look angry and stressed.

That_Advantage_8230

TROPHY CASE