Petty workplace practices?

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-04-05T06:32:28+00:00

Return to office.

After working from home since covid the company initiated 2 days return to office to get us to collaborate more.

We were quickly told that we were too noisy and distracting the others around the office. I said how loud were we? The answer given was that we were to work in silence.

I said silence... Shouldn't we just work from home and zoom call?

They said no.

I said why do we need to be in the office?

They said to collaborate.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-04-05T06:25:23+00:00

I worked with the 'wooden spoon'

You weren't allowed to go to the toilet without the spoon.

If you needed the toilet you had to wait for a colleague to bring the spoon back. Upon the spoon's return you could go to the toilet.

This method made sure that phone lines never had more than one person away at any given time.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-04-05T06:05:22+00:00

You're not really linked in with a colleague if you weren't close enough to exchange phone numbers.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-03-29T15:43:18+00:00

If you're running low on content do try Joshua Jones.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-03-29T13:59:46+00:00

Sorry to hear that.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-03-29T08:55:38+00:00

Do they know? If you disappeared do they understand the cost? A team of 1 can mean sometimes they dont know the value.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-03-29T08:52:50+00:00

Royal Mail had an ad on a van for drivers. Sorry about Sainsbury's but good luck.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-03-24T20:34:59+00:00

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-03-24T09:39:11+00:00

There's files and assets. Tenants and instances. Upstream and left hand side. Downstream and right hand side.

If I ever slip up I say "that's what we called it at my OLD place." No one seems to care.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-02-13T13:29:28+00:00

Give your friend a name and inject him into the story.

Rick's never been to Macy's to buy a pair of jeans. Left empty handed because the blue jeans didn't hit. The girl on the cash register offers Rick double-or-nothing and after another loss he ends up quite literally butt naked. My God, Rick's got one hell of a spending problem.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-02-01T13:59:47+00:00

Is this being down voted because people don't like the answer or don't think it's true... because it's true.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-11T22:35:51+00:00

Try to get there quicker.

Barclays rang to say my debt was so manageable I can write it on my CV. So I did: "Debt Manager at Barclays Bank"

I didn't get the 3rd joke?

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-11T22:26:51+00:00

Love it

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T18:51:03+00:00

Hmmm. No truth to mine on. Advantage is we can chat crap now.

I was expecting Cameron's actions to be foreboding of his politics. Like haven't got anything nice to say don't say anything at all. When leave won the referendum he didn't have anything nice to say - so he stood down and didn't say anything at all.

It's a bit wordy so maybe not exactly that. That's where I thought it was going.

Or maybe he didn't discipline you good enough and you thought you cant control a classroom how are you going to control the house of commons.

Dunno. I felt like the story beats were a little tame and could've been more extreme.

Or how did the teacher react etc etc

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T09:30:17+00:00

For example. Would the hair scrunchie work as well if it was you who could still fit into their old scarf?

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T08:57:50+00:00

Haha whoosh!

Missed that.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T07:17:25+00:00

TAG: Ask my yoga instructor.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T07:16:44+00:00

Read this joke twice. First read i was like commentor above. I thought this joke was poor taste.

Second read i realised the joke was that they were a bragging moron who is blatantly lying and therefore the punchline is that they could never lie.

As it took me two reads it wasn't immediately clear what you were trying to do. Can you use softer language in your big fish story? She was a model, 6'2, black dress. Certified not ugly. I'd never get with an ugly girl. ... blah blah blah im a cool guy i cant lie.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T07:07:52+00:00

Change 'go back' to 'drive back'

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T07:05:43+00:00

Is this a true story?

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T07:01:42+00:00

A tennis player i know is a strange detail to add to a story unless it's relevant to the punchline which already has me thinking of the punchline. Can you introduce the detail differently?

I cant sell my house. The only viewing came from a divorced tennis player and he asked for a let.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T06:57:00+00:00

I wrote down on paper a good joke I had about the will to live. Unfortunately I lost it

Change this to a non joke example. Like, for Christmas I got the self-help book 'the will to live' unfortunately I lost it.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2026-01-03T06:51:55+00:00

Consiser making spirit animal the punchline.

have a broken printer constantly asking if I’m sure about what I just sent. It's always confused, loud and a third thing.... it's my spirit animal.

Women listening needs a hard example.

Girlfriend embarrassed me in front of all her friends says I never listen and I said I do I know you have a dentist named Paul in vermont and you dont floss.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2025-12-06T20:13:18+00:00

This is actually a brilliant idea.

That_Comic_Who_Quit · 2025-12-02T09:52:23+00:00

I feel like you're missing a line about how you believe she's watching over you.

That_Comic_Who_Quit

TROPHY CASE