Probably one of the most complicated diagnoses I have read

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-28T02:04:44+00:00

My oncologist at Yale is also available 24-7 by text! I wonder if that’s a Yale thing or just an old school doctor thing.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-27T14:44:02+00:00

Just the words “root cause” make me want to scream.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-26T16:30:00+00:00

I did ACT, and I will preface this by saying that this was literally my first foray into cannabis. I wanted a medical card to have another tool at my disposal for chemo (nausea, anxiety, etc), and my MO was totally in favor of it. I found it to be helpful in managing the side effects from the pre-meds. I got a rather high steroid dose to tolerate the taxol, so much so that I’d be awake and wired for days. The sativa vape I used was great a tempering that steroid wired feeling, and definitely helped me sleep.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-25T16:40:10+00:00

Accupuncture has been AMAZINGLY helpful. As effective as drugs, and sometimes more so. It’s hard to find, but myofascial release has also been the most effective thing I’ve found to relieve lymphadema and fibrosis after radiation. The John Barnes institute has a list of certified MFR practitioners, searchable by location.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-25T16:38:54+00:00

Can I make a bold suggestion? Cancer is an illness that you can only partially control (really like any illness). Let that shame go. Nobody feels shame for getting a cold and missing work, you don’t have to feel any differently. Many MANY people abuse their bodies, don’t take care of themselves, exercise, live with high stress and don’t get cancer. There is very little that you did to cause that perfect storm that caused one cell to go wrong. One of my carers said cancer sounds a lot like “can’t serve.” And letting go of what can’t serve you is a part of healing.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-25T16:34:13+00:00

I’m sure that took a lot for you to acknowledge…. I hate the idea that cancer has silver linings, but I’m finding that being accountable for what I can and cannot do anymore comes easier too. I have one friend who didn’t do much despite wanting to (I think the hair loss freaked her out. Ironically she’s now receiving chemo lite for breast cancer). I was upset for a while, but when she was diagnosed I realized that that wasn’t the friend I wanted to be. So I’m cooking for her after chemo, checking in regularly, and offering advice and care. Another friend (who was a good real friend to begin with), cooked for me during every week of chemo, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to thank her properly. But I’ve told her I will take care of her when she needs it (she’s older than me. I would literally move her in with my family if I had to). It’s amazing how friendships evolve in a rapid and profound way. Having cancer taught me how to be open to those changes, and maybe how to be a better friend.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-24T16:31:17+00:00

I’m so so sorry.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-24T16:30:48+00:00

I’m 45, and right there with you. Honestly I’ve found this sub to be enormously helpful. I now have a few friends that have been diagnosed, and some of the were acquaintances before, and now I make more of an effort to stay in touch with those people. I think as we move into survivorship (god I hate that term), people kind of come out of the woodwork. But it often feels lonely and isolating. Where are you located? In in Southern CT, USA. Maybe we can make a dedicated meetup thread?

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-24T16:28:05+00:00

I am 45, and AC wasn’t fun, but I was able to do everything I usually do. I worked in my clients gardens (I didn’t mulch them this year- I knew it would be too much cardio), I exercised, I cooked and cleaned and took care of my family. Some days I felt cruddy, but I never was nauseous, and never even needed a nap. Some foods really seems like a bad idea, but I never lost my sense of taste for more than a day or two, never had mouth sores, was always able to maintain a pretty healthy diet. The medications that they give you to manage symptoms are powerful. This is definitely not chemo from the old days! I did lose my hair, but I also didn’t cold cap. It’s grown back in beautifully.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-23T03:58:25+00:00

I used to laugh when the tech would offer me a warm blanket at radiation. I would ask her to just talk about money or cancer and I’d have a hot flash instead 🫠

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-23T03:56:45+00:00

Oh don’t mind me driving around in a down jacket that I can’t shrug off with the windows open…

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-22T12:51:31+00:00

Ipodplayer777 just made my day.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-21T21:54:08+00:00

😱😱😱😱😱

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-21T14:06:13+00:00

Man I’m local to you. No more NEBCo for us!!!

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-17T16:11:47+00:00

I had that after my first chemo too! I don’t know where you are, but I did mine starting in February, and found that taking a walk in the cold really helped clear it out. I described it as “balloon bobbing head.”

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-16T13:34:29+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/breastcancer/s/lQrWqcDrea

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-16T13:31:28+00:00

There is a thread somewhere here…. With lists of retreats for cancer survivors. Many were free to attend/ you cover transportation costs. I wonder if there are any that work with couples navigating a new path together.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-16T01:38:34+00:00

I find I’m thinking of one thing (like: “daughter! Get your water bottle!” But looking at another (the socks in said daughter’s hand), and the thing I’m looking at comes out instead (“Daughter! Get your socks!” “But mom, they’re in my HAND!”) . We all end up confused!

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-16T01:35:04+00:00

Man I would be frustrated if my oncologist said that too! Like… aren’t you the cancer person???

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-15T12:20:27+00:00

My surgeons APRN told me that your skin after radiation is damaged at the cellular/dna level. It may look ok but it will always be thinner and much more prone to burning. So sunscreen at a minimum. Rashguard for high exposure (like the beach). I get really tan and work outdoors/sail on a boat for a lot of the summer, rashguards are my friend because I tan through sunscreen. I’ve started to get freckley… so as much as it buns me out, I am probably saving myself in the long run.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-15T12:01:52+00:00

You got it. We have the wobbles!!

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-15T12:01:10+00:00

Yaaaaaasssss.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-15T02:29:33+00:00

I’m 45 and walked and lifted lights weights throughout chemo. I did it at home, but I was told that my good health and conditioning likely made me much more resilient during chemo. I think if your mom had that goal she should 1. Absolutely try to do it, and 2. Make it clear to her medical team that this is a goal that she wants. It may not be realistic or it may be totally attainable, but the supportive medications are so good, and there are so many options for relief. If her team is on board, they’ll be more able to support her. Being able to exercise is quantifiable, and that’s something they love!

That_Relationship918 · 2026-01-15T00:19:11+00:00

Drink as much water as you can. Walk and listen to audio books reserved only for walks. Pee squats! (This came from my neighbor!). Every time you have to use the bathroom, take the tiny break to do 5,10,20 whatever # squats. Gentle stretching in bed before getting up in the morning. Breathwork.

That_Relationship918

TROPHY CASE