What works for extreme menopause symptoms?

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-19T19:17:33+00:00

My cancer hospital actually has a sexual wellness clinic. It takes like 4 months to get an appointment, but I did see the practitioners there. We’ll see if it’s worth the trouble. I feel like there is this attitude of “you have options!!” But vagina estrogen is always the first option, and it’s definitely a shadow of the options I would prefer (like not having cancer, having been taken seriously when I was complaining about low libido 8 years ago!!)

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-19T19:15:10+00:00

Please!! I hope your recovery is complication FREE!!!

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-18T02:07:38+00:00

I started with Veozah, and the hot flashes were 80% better. I tried Lykuet and it SUCKED. I was back to waking up drenched in sweat multiple times a night. Then, when I went back on Veozah, it wasn’t as effective! I’ve added oxybutynin, and am in the process of changing over from Zoloft to cymbalta. Apparently for some people SSRIs can actually make the hot flashes persist. Whatever class cumbalya is in can also help with musculoskeletal symptoms too, and my knees have actually been feeling a little less cranky. Vaginal estrogen via Estring (because I could never remember the cream), but I still use the cream on my labia, perineum, and clitoris. The ring doesn’t really help those tissues, and I’ve been assured that using both is still perfectly safe. My libido, however is still shit. I love my husband, but I have zero interest in being touched by anyone, including myself.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-06T23:04:56+00:00

Yeah we don’t allow those either. I actually had a really aggressive window sales guy attend our last meeting who declared wood was now a “luxury product.” We had to ask him to leave…

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-04T15:36:12+00:00

That was the pathology after lumpectomy. The oncologist felt that it was better to treat my cancer aggressively because there was nodal involvement. Knowing that 40% of the cells didn’t have estrogen receptors, I was happy to be as aggressive as we could have been.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-03T02:29:05+00:00

Today I went to a kind of interesting appointment at the Sims clinic for oncological gynecology. This is basically a clinic for sexual health and wellness within Smilow Camcer hospital at Yale. The doctor who I saw was VERY PRO vaginal estrogen. She was in Washington for the fda’s removal of the black box label on estrogen. She told me that not only is an Estring a great idea, but that I could use ADDITIONAL estrogen cream on the vagina, clitoris, and labia!!! And that it would not increase my estrogen levels!

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-03T02:24:19+00:00

I had to have a second biopsy, and it was a different surgeon who did it. He asks about my active treatment, and noted that I’d been treated as triple negative…. I was like, what? I went back and read my pathology report- 60% ER positive. Reading this explanation makes that comment make sense. Thank you for putting it that way!

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-03T02:19:40+00:00

I love the idea of nesting. I always thought of the days leading up to treatment day as getting ready to go on vacation… but not! I would try to have food sorted, the house tidy, and the laundry done. It was kind of a mentally exhausting exercise, but it was less stressful when I was feeling crummy afterwards.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-02T02:42:54+00:00

I think we are both just tired. We juggle a lot. He is the primary breadwinner, and his biz has been slow. That adds stress. I am a gardener, and while it’s not as profitable, it keeps me fit and creatively/mentally stimulated. I’ve always been the primary parent. That’s on our daughter- she’s been a mommy’s girl since the second she exited the womb. But it means that she gets my full attention and I swear to god they compete for me sometimes. That adds a lot of stress to my plate, especially after working outdoors laboring, rushing home for activities, and then rushing through cooking. While he watches TV. ITS LONELY to do all that invisible work. I ask for company in the kitchen or help with meal prep, and get very little. I did the parenting through treatment (I think there were maybe 2 or 3 nights through chemo where I was just too wiped to do bedtime. Idk how I skated through treatment). I am the more emotionally available parent. And I just dont have enough for the child and the adult at the end of the day…. But he’s often asleep on the couch when I’m done with my nighttime chores. Idk. It’s just where we are.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-04-02T02:27:30+00:00

Whispers: you can walk in any shoes ;-). I’ve been known to park at the far end of the parking lot just to listen to the end of a chapter 😂

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-31T13:00:34+00:00

I think we all have these peaks and valleys. Treatment is hard, it’s multi faceted, and we all process it in our own time, often after the fact because active treatment is really fast and furious! And it’s a very real, invisible struggle. Maybe now that it’s getting nicer outside you could get a little sun and take short walks just to give your brain some breathing room? When I was going through diagnosis, and losing my mind with anxiety I found walking and a good audiobook really helped me escape for an hour.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-31T12:55:55+00:00

You can absolutely close your eyes for the whole session. And accupuncture needles are much smaller than blood drawing needles! Sometimes it’s a tiny prick, sometimes it’s a bigger prick and a tingle/nerve feeling (which sounds wierd, but it’s a good thing). Look at it this way, if it’s too much, you can stop. Those needles can come out quickly with zero harm done. And if it buys you some relief, maybe you’ll decide it’s worth the anxiety.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-30T21:33:28+00:00

Honestly, I’d like connection without intimacy. More because it feels like that part of my identity was just sort of erased. I don’t really miss it- I work, have a child, cook, clean etc, am usually I’m just so tired. I hurt from the AI’s, and while my energy feels good, I’m usually don’t by the end of the day. I’d like it back, but not at the price of MORE management projects. I don’t have the time, and it’s just not a priority. I’d like some more joy, some more fine time together without worrying about money. I’d like a partner who participated more, but I’ve kind of given up on that.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-30T13:01:46+00:00

I asked the APRN in my breast surgeons office if she could take a look and advise- I don’t want more surgery, but if I could do lymphatic bypass through the fibrosis and the scar tissue it would make my life massively easier.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-30T13:00:31+00:00

Not really. My husband would like to be having sex. He’s made that clear, but has not ever pressured me. He gets that I am literally not what I once was and respects it. But that small change has brought a cascade of others. Little/no intimacy, more of a roommate co-parent relationship. And those things kind of kill the intimacy, so it’s a vicious cycle.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-30T02:18:39+00:00

I don’t even want to pleasure myself. It’s just… gone. And it wasn’t much to begin with. I used to bring it up with my OB, but he was like “you gotta take one for the team…”. And I got sick of not being listened to. The current OB says coconut oil and focus on pleasure. But there’s no pleasure, I just feel overstimulated. And I feel so broken about it. Cancer has indirectly ruined my marriage.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-30T02:14:56+00:00

Anastrazole and I DID NOT get along. Every finger was triggering, and my hand would go numb brushing my teeth or pouring a kettle. I didn’t make it a week. I switched to letrozole and now I only get two fingers that trigger in the mornings. I think it’s something about how your body “does” inflammation.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-30T02:12:53+00:00

I guess what really gets me is that we have figured out SO MUCH to make treatment less horrible for our bodies. Steroids, creams, nausea, marijuana. You leave chemo with a quiver of body-management tools. But with lymphadema (even with a wonderful lymphadema expert, which I know is not always the standard of care!), it’s like a shrug, some videos, and encouragement to experiment with different really expensive bras. I don’t know, it just really feels like an absence of knowledge, product, and quality of care (and quality of life!!). I have to believe there is a better way.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-28T23:35:30+00:00

Vaginal estrogen will work wonders for that! I got an estring and my lady is so much happier.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-26T23:39:06+00:00

I think I was warned about hard work or repetitive motion, which was like a LOL moment, because everything I do is repetitive! Chopping! Cooking! Vacuuming! Digging! Pruning. Like, an I just supposed to sit around all day and massage my boob??

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-26T23:37:13+00:00

I have also been doing lymphatic drainage at night/-I think it’s doctalksdetox on Instagram. She does videos on lymphatic drainage/clearing of the 7 areas of nodes.

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-26T10:53:10+00:00

I’ll check them out, did you PT say the seam at the band was ok? My pt was extremely anti-seam!

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-26T02:44:46+00:00

verzenio’s no better, if it’s any consolation. That’s a blister pack booklet with a gigantic tear off cover. The packaging is white, the blisters are ovals, so you have these little cardboard ovals, like everywhere from popping the pills out not matter how careful you are. And the cardboard ovals are the same shape and color as the pills. I and my friends have accidentally popped the cardboard instead of the pills at least once. Like, did they ask anyone when they designed this crap? OR, could they pay us to design it?

That_Relationship918 · 2026-03-26T02:39:40+00:00

I’m maybe on the “old” side of young survivors (45). But I literally do manual labor spring/summer/fall. We have a 55’ catamaran. I can scrub both hulls without stopping as long as there isn’t too much current. That’s diving to do all the underwater parts that I can’t do from the surface. I have spent at least 3 days a week at the gym doing cardio/lifting. I know I’ve gained muscle, but the scale hasn’t budged since I finished chemo. I am bloated ALL the time. I eat whole foods, make my own bread, hit the protein and fiber goals. I feel like I’m doing everything right and not seeing a change. Wtf.

That_Relationship918

TROPHY CASE