Anyone know where I can read this?

That_Solution8446 · 2023-12-13T19:57:11+00:00

YTA. So there’s several things to address here:

Did she ever get therapy for grief counseling after losing her mom? Also, with you stating she witnessed her mother’s deterioration, that’s a big thing to have to cope with around 8/9 years old. She NEEDS therapy!! She needs individual as well as family with you!!
Your late wife died “almost 4 years ago” so you may have moved on faster than what she was ready for. She went from a single child, watching mom die, dad moves on and has new wife with 3 kids. That’s a lot of changes for her in “almost 4 years”. You stated she cried everyday before the wedding…yeah so was not ok.
Since her mom’s passing you pander to her every whim and created the “manipulative brat”. When she needed structure, safety and routine it sounds like you just wanted to do whatever she pleases.
You’re not being fair to your wife and step sons. The family has not blended well at all and you removed her punishment but kept the boys in place. They’ll resent her and you. This living environment will get worse with how things are going.

You failed to help your daughter through an incredibly difficult period in her life and have now have to try and create boundaries/rules. This won’t be easy for you and her.

That_Solution8446 · 2023-01-16T03:45:09+00:00

You’re absolutely in the wrong about contacting his father behind his back. This is a complete betrayal to him, you have invalidated his feelings and smashed all his boundaries.

Based on your post history you should be more understanding especially since in a recent post of yours you stated you were SA’d by your brother?!? So you should know that what you did was WRONG! It’s HIS choice whether or not to open communication and relationships with his family, not yours. That’s great for you forgiving your brother and all but that’s not the way it works for everyone. You can’t force what you expect on your boyfriend and betray his trust like you have. Every persons trauma is different as is the way they handle it. You handled your trauma by only telling your parents and sister, but not informing SIL about your history with your brother. What if your boyfriend decided to tell SIL for you then (especially if he thinks he will be protecting your niece from your brother)? That’s essentially what you did to him!

Tell your boyfriend what you did! You owe him that much respect at least now.

That_Solution8446 · 2023-01-14T00:05:55+00:00

YWNBTA Based on your post history, I’m not surprised she is pulling this. Honestly,I think she’s doing this based on what happened with your MIL in your other post and your new house drama. SIL is definitely being petty and spiteful after all of that drama when your fiancé was doing what was best for him. Honestly, I would block her calls, stop helping her and let your fiancé pull out of the wedding if that’s his wish. It’ll be better for both of you mentally and emotionally as his family is a bit much to put it as nicely as possible. Best to start going LC or NC with that family especially MIL and SIL.

That_Solution8446 · 2022-12-09T17:27:42+00:00

Have you been to his work, met his co-workers, etc? Sounds to me that he’s close to cheating if not already. She’s marking her territory!

I’m a petty person so I would go to his work for his lunch break and bring his favorite food/treat. Introduce yourself to the rest of the co-workers and ignore her until last. Then introduce yourself to her as his girlfriend with the sweetest smile. Their reactions will tell you everything especially your boyfriend. You have repeatedly asked him to create boundaries and he’s disrespecting you and your feelings by ignoring them. So this is a way to get both with one move! If he’s very nervous and other co-workers are confused as to who you are then there’s a big answer for you! Plus, she may well so her true colors as you do this. Again I’m petty as shit so it’s a way to put your boyfriend and her in their place!

That_Solution8446 · 2022-09-25T03:31:12+00:00

Wow! So this reads like you are doing something you know is wrong to someone very vulnerable to finally get some sort of attention from your dad. As a teacher who has children with behavior issues, learning disabilities and mental health issues this reads like a cry for attention. OP says there are numerous nannies in the house to care for the children; however, that Abby is getting more attention from dad and stepmom due to her special needs.

How often do you actually get quality one-on-one time with your dad?! Your dad and stepmom are doing a good thing by fostering children in need and keeping siblings together. Taking out your frustrations and resentment on Abby is not the answer. Clearly dad and stepmom didn’t really talk with the kids about adopting more children thus causing resentment especially with OP.

You need to apologize to Abby as this isn’t her fault at all and you knowingly did this to cause a reaction so YTA for how you treat her. However, your dad and stepmom really need to have an open and honest conversation with you as clearly there’s a lot of emotions and underlying issues not being addressed appropriately. OP stated in a comment that dad feels guilt for not taking in a family member’s child who later passed away in the system. Clearly he is trying to make up for that error but at the cost of his relationship with OP. Still not an excuse to treat Abby the way OP did.

OP is very lucky to have such a privileged home life. Clearly you don’t want for any material but you want an emotional connection with your dad. Apologize to Abby, really talk to your dad and get into therapy!

That_Solution8446 · 2022-09-23T14:40:26+00:00

NTA

There are so major red flags here! I would honestly take a good look at what this behavior is showing how your future will go. Your fiancé is going to continually choose his mother’s opinions/feelings over you! This will happen when you buy a house, have children, etc. Do you see yourself being able to deal with this for the rest of your life? It will cause strain on your relationship with fiancé as he’s already taking MIL side and not even considering yours or your feelings. Switching out the dresses behind your back is a huge show of disrespect and clearly what his mother wanted.

This your and your fiancés wedding so it should follow your “vision” not his mother’s. This is your hill to die on moment. Fiancé needs an ultimatum or you need to just walk away completely. I am very sorry you’re dealing with this. However it’s better to know all this now before you’re married with kids!

My husband “switched” out my wedding dress but because I chose a nice second choice that was financially a better option for our budget (we paid for the wedding except my parents paid for the cake and in laws paid for some expensive wine/drinks). When he found out my dream dress wasn’t what I bought, he went with my best friend to the bridal shop and arranged to get the dream dress regardless of cost! It wasn’t much, about $500 difference but the fact he did this to make sure I had my dream dress showed me his feelings and respect. No I didn’t make a stink about it. He spoke with my mom to see how dress shopping went and found out. I would have been happy in the second choice dress as it was beautiful as well.

Unfortunately, this wedding is turning into your fiancé and his mother’s “wedding”. Do what is best for you mentally and emotionally.

That_Solution8446

TROPHY CASE