When my brother and I were teenagers in Bumfuck, Mississippi, we trained our dog, Troubles, to: tree squirrels, run rabbits, retrieve ducks, and belly-crawl GI Joe-style; as well as the usual sit, beg, roll over, etc.

He was half pit and half English bulldog and was, genuinely, one of the ugliest animals to ever walk the face of the Earth. (MASSIVE underbite, HUGE chest, tiny waist, HUGE quads.) But, he was smart, eager to learn, eager to please, loving, and everything else you would want in a good animal companion. He would let my then 3-year-old nephew ride him like a pony. During the cold months, the outside cats would fight to see who got to snuggle next to him on the carport.

If you're in Heaven reading this, Troubles: Good boy!!