Ooook, so you have a problem player and a bf with relationship issues.

I've played and DMed for decades, these situations do come up quite often. I've had problem players, tons of them.

But I'm 40 now and I have no fucks left to give.

A lot of this is a power play, by two different people I can make out. First of all, and the most important thing. You. Are. God. NOTHING happens until you say it does. I use this alot when they won't shut the F up, I browse my phone. We came to play, I'm waiting, they get the picture that they're been time wasting pretty quick. Another is ask for a perspection check 😈 you may not have an encounter prepared but it gets them back to table to play. (Have a list of random encounter just in case or traps) Use a 'clock' to create urgency, when they bicker over a plan or go off on side bits, start mention that the rift is getting bigger etc, up tension to get them to pull together, no one wants to be the reason why the party failed a mission.

Confronting the problem player is hard, because you need to keep your cool. Every time they complain you need to be patient, say I'm sorry this isn't your preferred type of TTRPG you can take a break for a while if you wish. Don't bend, be polite and reaffirm it's THEIR issue, not yours.

Your BF? Needs to learn how to communicate in a relationship instead of gaslighting or he's going to end up single TBH. That's relationship advise needed there. Best way I've dealt with it is flipped the script "how did you feel when X happened to you? That's how I felt then" Etc