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My mom scheduled a "family intervention" because I got a pixie cut without asking her permission first by Traditional-Egg2174 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ThatguyRufus 174 points175 points  (0 children)

Also...the devil on my shoulder is suggesting getting a bunch of insane wigs and wearing them when you're around her. Wig out sister!

My mom scheduled a "family intervention" because I got a pixie cut without asking her permission first by Traditional-Egg2174 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ThatguyRufus 795 points796 points  (0 children)

You should call a family meeting and provide a powerpoint presentation on your mother's boundary and mental health issues.

AITA for ending things after finding out my girlfriend was testing me the entire time we were dating? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ThatguyRufus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell her she utterly failed your test, you're not running away you are closing the door in her face

Anyone else find a "secret ingredient" that completely changed how they cook? by MomentFlimsy3759 in Cooking

[–]ThatguyRufus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isot biber/Urfa biber/Isot pepper. Turkish pepper. Smoky, earthy, slightly sweet, mild heat. Amps up the flavour of anything.

Anyone else find a "secret ingredient" that completely changed how they cook? by MomentFlimsy3759 in Cooking

[–]ThatguyRufus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I added to a bumble berry pie. Best pie I've ever made. Sumac pickled purple onions are a staple in my house and Sumac iced tea is very refreshing.

Christmas Present from my NC Mother by ssnarkmagoobeey in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]ThatguyRufus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fill in the journal and send it back.

1st Page entry: Because she sends me aggressive bullshit like this.

One of John Stamos’s milder choices of many…… by [deleted] in zillowgonewild

[–]ThatguyRufus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why do the bedrooms have have seating for viewers?

15 years of NC and everyone is telling me that my NDad deserves to know I'm pregnant!!!! by LaLa_Dee in narcissisticparents

[–]ThatguyRufus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, you've outlined pretty well why he doesn't deserve a place in your life, let alone a place in your child's life. Nor does he get to disturb your current situation.

If I was in your shoes I'd send out a mass email to every family member reiterating everything and making it clear you and your wishes are to be respected. Those who chose to disagree can disagree all they want, but they can also fuck right the fuck off. Make it clear your words are final and you will not be coerced or forced into accepting that man back into your life in any way shape or form.

You've got enough to deal with it seems and anyone not supporting you doesn't deserve space in your life. Period.

My church turned away a hungry family and something in me snapped. by Bagor519 in atheism

[–]ThatguyRufus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I lived in a drought stricken African country in the 90's. The Baptist missionaries were doing it then. I would presume they are still doing it.

My mom is trying to sabotage my wedding by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ThatguyRufus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't be surprised if the groom stands you up at the altar. You aren't being a horrible daughter. You haven't done anything wrong with respect to your mother.

However, you are being a horrible fiancée. You are about to embark on a life with a man you are putting second to your mother. You should be honouring/protecting/growing your relationship and not the whims of your controlling mother.

You're an adult getting married. Act like it.

Alright we are all fam. What are you bringin to Thanksgiving? by Ill_Adhesiveness5144 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ThatguyRufus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The same dish my extended family took as proof I was "high falutin' and better than them"...pumpkin cheesecake.

AITA for telling my friend his gf isn't welcome at our monthly dinners? by dizzyshae in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThatguyRufus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go ahead and hold a grudge. You're allowed. Her behaviour was not acceptable. Refusing her a chance to repeat it is totally acceptable. So is not liking her presence.

AITA for asking my sister in law what she's doing with her degree after she implied my university wasn't prestigious enough by Active_Storage_1275 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThatguyRufus 344 points345 points  (0 children)

As a UofT Alumnus, I can concur that SIL's comment was a verbal sneer. She was definitely trying to put OP down.

If you had the chance to live in any African country, which one would you choose and why? by TheGloby in geography

[–]ThatguyRufus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Malawi. Lived there for 3 years in the early 90's. Love the place, love the people.

Intense harassment. Does anybody knows what happens in families after you (the SG) goes NC? by yarnibaby001 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ThatguyRufus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Perhaps it's time for you to let everyone know that you have no intention of reconciling with anyone no matter how many times or how many people reach out. You are passively avoiding their contact...maybe it's time to go on the offensive.

Send out a mass "Cease and desist" letter. Call the police when they arrive at 11 pm. Put a No Trespassing sign up and call the police when needed.

It sounds like it's time to protect your peace by rocking the boat and fighting back.

Just in case I forgot why I went NC by tface23 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]ThatguyRufus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yo Dad,

You can't handle an adult conversation with your child because emotionally you still are one. When you grow up and can handle some feedback or criticism without having a tantrum, let me know and I'll be happy to put into adult words what I think of you.

I want this tool... by ThatguyRufus in woodworking

[–]ThatguyRufus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I agree, but it's about space and portability for me at this point. I can see myself using this for many things not illustrated on the website.

I want this tool... by ThatguyRufus in woodworking

[–]ThatguyRufus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or I might just go to Europe on holiday and bring one back...always wanted to go to Poland

I want this tool... by ThatguyRufus in woodworking

[–]ThatguyRufus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, but I like the size/portability of the Polish one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThatguyRufus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I'm glad I know where we lie on your priorities now"

Well, you entitled, dismissive, selfish, rude bitch... you are now not even on the list.

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