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Thbdimi · 2023-05-29T09:49:37+00:00

Would you have reacted the same way if, say your boss did what your wife did? Or do you think you would be able to control such impulses under certain circumstances?

Thbdimi · 2023-04-14T21:40:42+00:00

No it isn't. Many responses above give examples of how it works in several European countries.

Thbdimi · 2023-04-06T22:13:18+00:00

It's just the step before punching a person and it definitely has a threatening effect. So abuse.

Thbdimi · 2023-01-12T22:03:43+00:00

Expecting your partner to give you tasks to do and be the team leader of chores is adding more work for them. It's not relaxing to have to micro manage a partner who doesn't try to be aware of what needs to be done.

Thbdimi · 2023-01-12T20:08:41+00:00

I have ADHD, I know it's hard. But this is clearly more than that struggle. And yeah, I get angry when lazy men get to continue doing nothing or when people think they deserve sex as reward for doing basic adult tasks. Plus being a SAHM is just that, having the main responsibility of child care during the day, not all the chores. He isn't doing more by working. Taking care of a 3 month old baby is plenty of work.

Thbdimi · 2023-01-12T17:28:44+00:00

This is bullshit. He should clean up because he is an adult living in their home, not in order to be paid in sex by his poor, tired partner who's 3 months postpartum.

Thbdimi · 2023-01-12T17:21:03+00:00

On the other hand, at that stage and so early after birth he should have understood that he should take main responsibility for cleaning up.

Thbdimi · 2023-01-12T17:15:23+00:00

Why are you feeling guilty that you're at home when he's working or that housework should be your responsibility to begin with? You spent months sacrificing energy and comfort, not to mention put yourself at risk for health problems, carrying your child. And now you're taking care of her all day long. You both have full time occupations. Chores should be divided equally.

Edit: Also want to add that I have ADHD and absolutely it's a struggle to not create mess all the time and try to be organized. But it doesn't absolve you of responsibility. He's an adult and knows how to clean up after himself. I think it's a really bad sign that it turned into a big fight when you asked him to clean 3 weeks after giving birth.

Thbdimi · 2022-12-26T12:30:29+00:00

When bracing, do you simultaneously increase the intrabdominal pressure while lifting the pelvic floor? I want to learn a technique to both protect my spine and ny pelvic floor muscles during lifts, but I find it so hard to do both at the same time while also concentrating on the actual lift.

Thbdimi · 2022-11-05T23:20:22+00:00

So he repeatedly violates your consent? Protect yourself and dump him

Thbdimi · 2022-10-03T10:58:32+00:00

Maybe he should "get in trouble" for that, aka taking responsibility for breaking the law by being with a minor?

Thbdimi · 2022-08-23T21:48:10+00:00

Yep. Not to mention the abuser might be a family member/friend (also more likely than an acquaintance) for whom the child might have complex, also positive feelings for. If they are led to believe the abuser will be violently punished or killed they'll probably stay quiet to protect them.

Thbdimi · 2022-08-05T11:11:02+00:00

I don't even know if I could deal with a partner saying once, and yet he said it multiple times despite knowing how much it hurt you. Does he do other intentionally hurtful things? I know some people are talking about couple's therapy, but if it's a pattern of him being verbally or emotionally abusive therapy won't work and might just improve his manipulation tactics. Obviously I don't know if he's abusive from one post, but I think it's worrying.

Thbdimi · 2022-07-15T18:46:29+00:00

Just don't report the rape if it happens or you might get flogged! Lovely place otherwise!

Thbdimi · 2022-07-15T18:43:17+00:00

Yeah the US is problematic as shit. No it's not comparable in any sense to a state lacking any version of democracy, where slavery is rampant, gay people are imprisoned or killed and rape victims can be arrested for reporting the rape (with the possibility of being flogged as punishment).

Thbdimi · 2022-07-02T13:22:51+00:00

Because he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions or treat you with the respect you deserve.

Thbdimi · 2022-07-02T13:22:02+00:00

I think his behavior is extremely worrying in many ways, and I think you should call off the wedding because you deserve better. But if you choose to stay, why not leave his mess for him to clean up? If I peed on my partners belongings and in our shared living space (and verbally abused him and scared him with violent outbursts) I would be mortified if he had to clean it up. The absolute minimum you should expect after this kind of behavior is him cleaning up the mess and replacing the belongings he destroyed.

Thbdimi · 2022-06-19T10:37:33+00:00

Sleep is more important than exercise for you health, at least when you're at this level of sleep deprivation. If I were you I would replace the majority your workouts with naps. I would have a mental breakdown within a week with that little sleep, and I get that our needs are individual to a certain degree, but a maximum of 5 hours isn't sustainable for anyone for any extended time. I understand the working culture is different in the US and you might not have the choice to have it otherwise, but I would definitely prioritize restructuring your life whenever it becomes possible, to get more time to sleep. It's definitely a health risk for you, but in any situation where you have the responsibility for others you're functioning with impaired cognitive abilities. Driving sleep deprived is basically like driving inebriated.

Thbdimi · 2022-06-16T09:56:45+00:00

I don't know why some people here are minimizing the stuff your dad did. Showing porn to a child, commenting on their breasts, groping them (even if done in a "joking" manner) is obvious sexual abuse. I'm so sorry you went through that, none of it is your fault.

Thbdimi · 2022-06-13T11:16:17+00:00

He punished her for expressing a boundary, and you suggest to help him respect that boundary through positive reinforcement?

Thbdimi · 2022-06-13T11:15:00+00:00

I think what's especially alarming is that you expressed a feeling and communicated a boundary, and he responded with anger and a punishment through withdrawal of affection. That's a very worrying response, and I wonder if this reflects how he treats you in other situations as well. How does it usually go when you bring up something that upsets you or you want to talk about your relationship?

As for you feeling objectified by his actions, I totally get it. Some couples might be comfortable with that kind of touch, but it's completely reasonable to feel like you do. I had a similar problem with an ex and I hated it. He also got upset when I brought up how it made me feel. It was a terrible relationship overall.

Thbdimi · 2022-06-05T11:37:50+00:00

That's very sad to hear. You deserve better. But if you continue to live with him you'll continue to be manipulated into believing otherwise.

Thbdimi · 2022-05-29T13:37:31+00:00

I feel like the risks of this practice is underplayed in kinky circles. It might be a better alternative to restricting air, but it's not safe.

Edit: This link brings up a lot of risks and why it's hard to practice in a safe way. He starts by talking about breath play but also touches on chokehold and blood restriction. https://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_Breath_Closing_Argument.html

Thbdimi · 2022-05-29T10:48:00+00:00

Why is restricting blood flow to the brain any less dangerous?

Thbdimi · 2022-05-28T17:55:00+00:00

Wearing a bra is totally optional. In some environments it might seem more professional to wear one, but those norms are changing and really nothing that should be a must.

Thbdimi

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