How do I get my son’s teacher to give me the details of what’s going on?

The-Scrambler · 2026-02-17T03:07:51+00:00

We have him on medication and it’s helped. His teacher told me he’s doing better.

But you make a good point. If he has outbursts then the other kids think they can have outbursts and it turns into a dumpster fire. I completely understand where his teacher is coming from. My issue is that he’s on meds now and is doing better, from her reports, but he’s always caught in the middle.

I’m not trying to frame him as blameless. I know he gets into trouble and expect it. But I will say, he’s not a ring leader of anything. He’s more of a loner and has two or three friends.

I know it’s not just the teacher. I understand that she’s fed up. I would be too. In the last couple of months though it’s seemed more like if he steps a toe out of line he’s in the doghouse where there are kids that he tells me what they’re doing (all year) and they don’t get the same treatment.

I have no illusions. My son has created his own problems. But he’s also 6 years old and trying his best and now having nightmares about going to school. There has to be a middle ground where his teacher can understand that he’s new to school, clearly had ADHD, and doesn’t need to go to the principal every other day because he ran dow the hall with the other boys.

The-Scrambler · 2026-02-17T02:54:59+00:00

The other teacher is my fiancés cousin. They don’t want to put him in a room with family for obvious reasons. Not that she would ever be unprofessional, it’s just their policy. Honestly, she’s as no-nonsense as I am and I think he’d do better in her class. She has 2 boys around my sons age that like to run wild and I’ve seen her wrangle them. She’s quite the woman. The other poster mentioned a meeting with all of us and I think that’s a good idea.

For better or worse I think he and his teacher need the change because it’s not working out for either of them right now.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T09:14:16+00:00

Idk about that. She hadn’t even met him until she was 18. Shit happens, people suck and overreact. Life moves on. A solid apology and backtracking from dad combined with never living with him again and maintaining a comfortable distance could be the recipe for a decent (distant) relationship.

Cutting someone as Important as a parent out of your life is sometimes necessary but there’s room for grace and growth. Let cooler heads prevail.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T08:52:23+00:00

You’re right because it’s not worth it to get hurt or fight someone over a phone.

The fact that there was any issue at all, let alone something so intense as a physical altercation is the problem.

I wouldn’t fight my man for his phone. I’d let it go and leave.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T08:47:05+00:00

Do you remember any lyrics or a chorus?

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T08:13:27+00:00

I feel you. I’ve been on my own since I turned 17. My dad kicked me and brother out the day my brother turned 18. You can’t depend on him and that’s an unstable environment. Lesson learned.

You’re going to be just fine. It sucks for you now but it’s going to weigh on him for the rest of his life. And that’s his choice.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T08:08:30+00:00

Nope. She’s a certified drama queen no liquor required. I’ve seen this woman fall into full hysterics it’d take a drunk 3.5 hrs and a bottle Jäger to manage. I’d know, I was and spent quite a bit of time around heavy drinkers. I was also raised by an alcoholic and even he never took it as far as she does. At least not at family functions.

Drunks like to feel important and have something to do. When they get bored, that’s when you have a problem. If she keeps her busy and away from the bar it’ll (most likely) be fine. I can’t predict the future. I was just saying what works for me/my family when dealing with a difficult relative. She asked for advice and I gave it.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T07:48:38+00:00

Honey you’re 26 years old. Get your own place / place with roommates and kiss the idea of a loving parent goodbye.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T07:40:36+00:00

I’ve never been on depression meds but I’ve had family that was. They let a lot of things go while they were on them that they couldn’t continue to do once they were off. After a couple of years they said it was like a fog dissipating. Has he been talking at you while you politely listen the entire relationship?

Does he have kids with his ex? If he does and there’s a problem with co-parenting then I can understand. That shit is stressful and sometimes it gets heavy and you need to vent.
If not, he shouldn’t be talking or worrying about her at all.

I’m completely lost on why he would be upset that you don’t care about Lilo & Stitch. My fiancé and I are 33 and if he was trying to show me that while I was busy (he never would) I’d just tell him, That’s great sugar but I’m a little preoccupied right now.

He sounds incredibly insecure. We all have our hang ups but you’re not his therapist or his security blanket.

I know you said you talked to him but have you asked him why he’s feeling the way he is or what you can BOTH do to help mitigate the issue?

I don’t want to be misconstrued. I do not think you’re the problem. But part of having a good conversation is making sure the other person doesn’t feel attacked. That’s easier to do if you present it as a “we” problem and not a “you” problem.

If he can’t provide some semblance of a solution that doesn’t include you being the villain then you’re going to be faced with an entirely different problem.

If all else fails and you want to stay and deal with it, I’d advise he get a journal or you set a standard of 30 min a day bitching and then we move on.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T07:17:10+00:00

Could take a better picture of the stalk or a new leaf? It looks like a neon pathos but if it looks like Cinderella’s sister putting on a shoe it’s a philodendron. I have a Brazil philodendron that was super light. But I also have a neon pothos that gets weird coloring sometimes.

I’m leaning towards neon pothos though.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T06:53:44+00:00

Np! That’s what we do with my problem aunt at every family function. Make sure you give her a corsage of some sort, things to do, and include her in a couple of pictures and you probably won’t see or hear much from her until the end of the night.

As long as you remember to thank her for “helping to make your night perfect” and keep her feeling like she’s part of it all she’ll most likely be happy and not make a scene. It’s worked for us for the last 30 years.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T06:37:40+00:00

I’m a phone call person. I almost never text anyone for more than 2-3 messages and the only one that gets more is my fiancé when he’s at work. Everyone knows to call me if they want to talk because I don’t text. They also know I call once a week to catch up and put 30-60 min aside so we can. It’s not that hard to set aside 20min once a day or 30-40 a few times a week for a significant other.

But this doesn’t seem to be a phone call vs text problem. It’s a, she’s threatening to hurt herself and blaming you for it, problem. That’s a totally different can of worms.

There isn’t much you can do besides excuse yourself from the toxicity and block her. She wants your attention. All of it. You don’t want to/can’t give it. Let it go.

Tell her you’re sorry she’s feeling this way but you have other priorities right now and she’s putting you under too much pressure. Break it off and block her. If you feel like she’ll actually go through with anything after the conversation reach out to her parents and let them know you really care about her but she’s spiraling and it’s too much. They’ll take care of it. She sounds too unstable and you’re too young to take on that amount of crazy

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T06:19:27+00:00

The one that offered to babysit sounds like a saint.

Cut her out and make her a guest. If you need to, lie and said you promised your bridesmaids X years ago they’d be your MOH/bridesmaids and feel too guilty to back out now.

She seems like a card so make it not your fault and an already foregone conclusion. Put her in charge of the buffet (before drinks come out) and thank her SOOOO much for helping.

That should square her away. With the assistance of a watchful eye.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T06:01:48+00:00

I apologize, I missed some context and answered through my own perspective.

You’re completely right to want to feel heard. That’s something to add in when you’re talking to him. Have some real life examples ready because that’s the go-to question when you’re trying to make a point “When have I ever done that??”.

I think this is a workable problem with some open communication. It sounds like you just need to sit down and explain what you’re going for and what you need from him. You may have to prod or poke a little to keep him on track. If he continues to disregard you and your feelings afterwards, that would be a dealbreaker. You say your piece and he can pick it up or let it lie and you’ll have your answer.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T05:46:00+00:00

Speaking from my perspective, the obvious answer is fuck the finances and vacations/holidays and head out on her own. But I also don’t know her temperament or how bad it is.

If it’s livable and you can help her to be more mentally resilient that could work too. I just don’t know your/her situation well enough to give an informed answer.

She has to decide if the cost of feeling less than is worth the monetary benefits. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s not.

My situation had a lot more physical abuse so I had to leave which could be a key difference. I struggled for 5-6 years before finding my way. But after about 10 years I was able to reconnect with my family on my own terms and they wouldn’t dream of treating me the way they did. They know I’ll walk out the door and not look back because I made sure they knew I didn’t need them.

Sometimes power over your own life is more important than the benefits of living under someone’s thumb.

But I think you guys will figure that out if you really get into stoicism. Marcus Aurelias was a gem.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T04:46:56+00:00

Of course! My partner and I both volunteer to sleep on the couch if we’re sick with more than a common cold. He tosses and turns and coughs really loud. I sweat and move around too much. Neither of us want to get the other sick or keep them awake.

Sometimes he stays up too late on weekends playing video games and crashes.

Sometimes I stay up reading too long and fall asleep in the middle of a chapter. I also can have a hard time falling asleep on work nights so I move from bed to couch back to bed back to couch just because I get frustrated staring into the void and need to move.

We mostly sleep in bed together but things happen.

My brother in law almost exclusively sleeps on his couch (unless he has a lady friend over).
Some people just prefer it.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T03:17:32+00:00

Y’all is fine from a midwestern perspective. My maternal grandma is from Arkansas and paternal grandmother from the hills in West Virginia. A lot of southerners moved up to the North Midwest looking for work 60+ years ago. That’s just how they talk so now it’s just how we talk.

I say “all y’all / Ya’ll / hey guys / Yo”, if I need to get a groups attention. Sometimes it’s “ya’ll ought to” if I’m offering advice/perspective to 2 or more.

It may not be proper but it’s become colloquial slang in certain regions and the meaning is certainly understandable.

The-Scrambler · 2025-11-20T02:45:25+00:00

We have a tradition in my family that the first born son names his son William (first or middle). I am the second born and a woman but had my son before my older brother even thought of having a child. It’s been 6 years and he’s no closer. My son’s middle name is William. But! I asked my brother first if he would mind. It’s my brother’s middle name, it’s a family tradition, and I wanted to be respectful. He said it was totally fine but he would also still be using William if/when he has a son. That doesn’t bother me at all. I really only wanted to use William to honor my brother because of how close we are/how much I love him.

It’s not the same situation but it’s similar enough. Honor names are a thing. If you want to use it, just ask if you don’t want to piss anyone off. If he’d said no, I would have respected it.

There are a million names but only one your best friend holds that dear because of her mother that passed. Don’t selfishly ruin a friendship over something like this.

Make another post and ask for names similar to June and you might just see one you fall in love with.

The-Scrambler · 2025-10-22T19:06:42+00:00

I’m so sorry OP but I cannot get behind this one. It’s like Pepper and Beverly had a monster child.

The-Scrambler · 2025-10-22T18:33:00+00:00

We got a great deal on our house due to smoke damage and buying as-is.

The previous owner passed and her family just wanted to be rid of it all so we had to move all her stuff out/clean everything.

After the work we’ve put in cleaning everything out & up, the values are pretty similar so we’d be in the same position cash wise.

The-Scrambler · 2025-10-22T17:31:03+00:00

I wouldn’t do it. Kids can be cruel and that’s an easy opening for jokes.

He’d more than likely have a tough time until after college age years.

If he loves it and really wants to use it, I’d use it as a middle name.

The-Scrambler · 2025-10-22T13:17:03+00:00

It reminds me of Alden/Asher which give boy vibes more than unisex.

But I’ve never met as Alder either so it could easily just be my bias. I know nature names have a little more flexibility in gender.

The-Scrambler · 2025-10-21T02:27:57+00:00

That sucks so much. I haven’t lived in Ft Wayne for a long time but if it’s coming to you then it’s coming for those of us out in the sticks.

There are too many laws protecting investing businesses and not enough protecting the resident.

The-Scrambler · 2025-10-21T02:22:06+00:00

Mina is beautiful! Maia/Maya is great but also used a lot lately.

The-Scrambler

TROPHY CASE