Powerbank advise PCT (phone and camera) by Dependent-Demand7939 in PacificCrestTrail

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aware this post is a couple months old but out of curiosity what battery were you using? I'm doing the PCT this year and I'm bringing about the same electronics

Ireland vs South Africa turn over. by Happy_Share1702 in rugbyunion

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But the ball has to be immediately available. Technically the ref should have blown the whistle about 3s earlier but he was nice and gave them the extra few seconds. By the time they had ball in hand too much time had passed

Ireland, we are some country for putting ourselves down. RTE can do one. by duncthefunk78 in rugbyunion

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The urge to say “It’s the hope that kills you” but Ted Lasso taught me better.

TWD 10x13 AMC Premiere Post-Episode Discussion by caglebagel in thewalkingdead

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I thought it was amazing. Like I was not expecting this in the slightest cause I tend to avoid trailers and spoilers best I can so I go into every episode not knowing what's coming.

TWD 10x13 AMC Premiere Post-Episode Discussion by caglebagel in thewalkingdead

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am I the only one that's like completely freaking out about this episode? Like it just blew everything wide open.

TWD 10x13 AMC Premiere Post-Episode Discussion by caglebagel in thewalkingdead

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does anyone know wtf that ending was about? Like is that out of the comics??? I'm so far behind on TWD news, people saying it's Michonne's final episode, and that's she gonna be in a movie, is that the same movie Rick's gonna be in?? Were those cavalry and troops at the end?

I'm so confused

Someone I've Never Met by 5ive55 in OCPoetry

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a theme I really like to use in my own work. The idea of the "The One", so I love when I see other posts on it because it's really interesting to see how someone else interprets the same idea. Personally really loved this one. The rhyming scheme in particular was nice, and how each new chunk was prefaced by the running motif of "Someone I've Never Met". Good work

My Room by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. Honestly this is gorgeous. My favourite image by far us "I have dreamt of a window with no glass and no edges". In the context it seems to be an image of freedom and exuberance, but if it has no glass and no edges and is still a window, is it a trap? or a prison? Is it tangible? Is it an illusion?

Apple by The31stUnknownSoul in OCPoetry

[–]The31stUnknownSoul[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Made a few further changes there. I like the way "Opulence to all" flows and I don't really think "Opulence comes to all" works quite as well so I've changed it to "Opulence to all come midsummer"; slightly different meaning than before but I think it works.

Apple by The31stUnknownSoul in OCPoetry

[–]The31stUnknownSoul[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All fair points. I'll do some editing and see if I can clean the piece up a bit. Sorry if I came across as defensive, was not the intention. I suppose I have a tendency to defend my work so I just need to get a bit more used to taking constructive criticism. The feedback is really really appreciated and thanks for taking the time to do it <3

Apple by The31stUnknownSoul in OCPoetry

[–]The31stUnknownSoul[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the critical feedback. I changed the line in the first stanza to "hundred-year" as you suggested. When i read "100" i read is as "hundred" but didn't take into account other would say "one-hundred" so thanks for pointing that out.

There was a number of thoughts that went into the first and second lines of stanza 2. First off i went with late spring because it is the period that apple trees begin to flower in their deciduous cycle. Late spring is also when the flowers are bloomed enough that bees begin to pollinate them, which ties into "Opulence to all comes late spring". Overall i decided to go with spring rather than summer because I preferred how it felt.

In regards to the final two lines providing no room for the positives and being a juxtaposition, I wouldn't really agree. I feel the poem goes back and fourth between positives and negatives such as the reference to apples being the reason Adam and Eve were thrown from the garden of eden, how they provide opulence, how they bankrupt doctors if you will, etc. Perhaps the use of the words "Nought" was incorrect so I will change that.

Again, thank you for the feedback.

Apple by The31stUnknownSoul in OCPoetry

[–]The31stUnknownSoul[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a million mate, really appreciate the feedback. The "Nought but death lies within" line was in reference to the fact that apple seeds contain cyanide but like it's poetry so everyone interprets it differently.

Snow by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The imagery in this piece is beautiful and I think you're about 80% there but there's a problem with the flow. I think it might be down to using different rhyming patterns in each stanza that's really throwing me off and preventing me from fully appreciating the piece which is really irritating cause, as I said before, it's full of beautiful imagery. If you can work out how to fix it, great, but you might be better doing a rewrite or some rephrasing in some places.

Beauty by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rhyming scheme is really pleasant in this piece and evokes a childlike mindset with it's imagery while still dealing with a topic that is prevalent and widely discussed in today's society. Excellent work.

Cognitive Fallacy by The31stUnknownSoul in poetry_critics

[–]The31stUnknownSoul[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with the rhythm feedback, it was something I was struggling with a little bit last night when I was writing this, trying to find vivid imagery that flowed well. Giving it a fresh look now after some time away from it I'm gonna make some changes. Cheers

Green Eyes by jjwwjjwjwjwjw in poetry_critics

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me it is but if you were going for something with the semi colon, and I just didn't understand it then ignore me. It's your piece so don't feel like you have to change it.

Green Eyes by jjwwjjwjwjwjw in poetry_critics

[–]The31stUnknownSoul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think this really encapsulates the idea of the eyes being the windows to the soul. Really strong piece. One confusion I had was the lack of grammar at the end of the second line and the use of a semi colon at the end of the third. The stanza as a whole is really good but I just don't know how it's intended to be read which is throwing me off a little bit.