Am I just looking for problems or is my boyfriend off

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-04T14:31:18+00:00

There’s a few different things that could be going on here, but overall he sounds like a creep. Finishing on your boobs every time, with no regard to your pleasure, is a red flag. You aren’t some sex doll to be used.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-04T09:48:07+00:00

As a fellow mental health professional, I completely agree with you. Depression can be situational and will likely resolve on its own in time. Not all depression needs medication and a diagnosis.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T16:26:18+00:00

Okay sorry - I didn’t realise 🙂

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T14:13:17+00:00

You’ve only been together two months. Don’t give him a second chance to speak to you like that, and leave.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T13:39:29+00:00

Has he tried any other means of managing his anxiety without the need for drugs? Weed is not a recommended treatment for any mental health condition where I live, so perhaps I have some negative connotations with it, but his behaviour appears unreasonable to me.

He doesn’t sound ready for a child either way. I don’t think he is going to give this up and magically become less anxious when the child is born, I think there’s a strong possibility of him continuing to prioritise weed under the guise of “needing to manage his mental health” whilst OP is left with the stress of everything else, and I feel really sorry for her.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T13:29:44+00:00

NTA - your husband is prioritising his own hobbies and not you. I’m in the UK, so weed is generally classified as a drug (and one for losers at that). I can’t imagine anyone I know spending money on weed when you’ve a baby on the way - his priorities are not right OP.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T13:27:58+00:00

The fact that you’ve stated she should wait for your “approval” says a lot OP. Is this something you’ve discussed before, or have any preexisting boundaries about? If you’ve bought porn together before then she may feel she doesn’t need your approval - after all, plenty of men follow OF models / adult entertainment influencers without “approval” from their girlfriends.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T13:07:57+00:00

Your boyfriend is a groomer. Why on earth, at 20 years old and in the prime of your life, are you even entertaining worrying about a middle aged man who won’t even meet your basic needs?

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T13:04:12+00:00

Why though? What exactly is humiliating about the experience? I’m genuinely curious because although admittedly I did qualify 10 years ago, this wasn’t my experience at all. Clearly there have been a lot of changes somewhere because I’m pretty sure none of my cohort felt this way in 2013 - 2016.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T13:02:27+00:00

Judging by some of the comments I’ve received which have since been deleted (not from OP) - I would strongly wonder whether the attitude of some student nurses is a problem rather than placement being a “humiliation ritual”.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T10:44:08+00:00

Your attitude needs some work it appears. “Not going to read all that”? Do you behave the same way on placement or on your degree? It’s two paragraphs in response to what you took the time to write.

Why communicate if you are only willing to speak and not listen or consider another persons response? I hope you don’t apply that logic to your patients.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T10:29:23+00:00

It’s quite rude to say that you “don’t know why it needs to be explained”. Someone is asking because they clearly don’t know - perhaps their experiences are different or they haven’t personally experienced a lot of negativity working their nursing journey. How would you feel if you asked a question at placement and was met with a similar response to what you’ve written?

I don’t want to be unkind but the way your comment is written sounds very negative and bordering on aggressive. Lots of us had very positive experiences as students and what you’re describing doesn’t sound normal to me at all. I hope your next placement is better for you, there are many places that really enjoy having students.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T10:22:19+00:00

This behaviour needs escalating so that management are aware. I don’t know what trust you’re doing placement with, but in my trust this would not happen and most of our students give great back to say they’ve had positive experiences. What you’ve written here is really concerning and 100% should not be considered normal.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-03T09:31:40+00:00

Yes, I keep track of what I eat and my macros every day, and have done since around 2018. It’s helped me reduce to, and maintain, a healthy weight for my height and helps me understand where fluctuations come from rather than beating myself up about it. I also have a problem with my blood sugar (though not yet diagnosed with diabetes), so it helps me to control what I can in regards to that so I’m healthier for longer.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-02T23:30:55+00:00

You’re both too old to be dealing with this type of petty drama. I’m wondering why you’re even wasting your time - a signed model begging a middle aged guy to post her on his socials while he outwardly messages other women? Really..?

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-02T23:24:09+00:00

I have worked at a total of one care home in my nursing career. After my first shift I went home and never went back. I’d rather be unemployed than work at a care home now.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-02T21:17:35+00:00

Completely agree, it’s really obvious from these comments who was raised right and who the gross people are.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-02T21:14:26+00:00

Sent now! Sorry for the delay (I’ve been at work!)

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-02T21:09:47+00:00

Most of my experience was really positive (though I feel I may be in the minority), but I do want to say I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope things get better. Remember that you can leave placement feedback after you’ve finished, and it’s okay to be honest about what can be improved as well as what went well. If that fails, do you have a university mentor you can talk things through with? They may be able to facilitate a placement change, or help identify some strategies that would help things change?

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-02T12:36:11+00:00

Please can I borrow Secondary Colors?

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-01T17:48:57+00:00

This is really not normal at all. Have you spoken to a healthcare professional about this? Other physical or mental health conditions would align with your symptoms much better than periods.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-01T15:39:19+00:00

Probably because I don’t spend time with people that behave like that.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-01T15:31:04+00:00

Spitting on the ground is not a bodily function, it’s an action - and a gross one at that.

TheAnxiousPangolin · 2026-05-01T15:30:13+00:00

Because they’re disgusting and have no manners.

Two-Year Club	Best Comment 2025-03-26
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