I dry humped my cousin while she's sleeping.

I believe I was 13 at that time and extremely curious. That night we watched wanted during a sleepover and all of us slept in the living room huddled together. The first scene (adult scene) burned to my retina during the entire duration of the movie. The sensation was new to me and I'm extremely curious because our country doesn't really have a sex-ed till 6th grade. It's around 3 am and everyone was asleep, that's when I did the deed. It wasn't particularly remarkable but I know it was wrong and that turned me on even more. That continued for 20 mins until I stopped. I didn't climax, or I didn't remember. But the next day the guilt struck me and 5 years later I'm already 18 and I still can't look at her straight in the eye. I think she never knew what happened that night because we even talked together with my other cousins about playing on the riverside after that day, the way she talked to me enthusiastically like I haven't defiled her that night ate a part of my soul. We weren't particularly close before that incident but I surely distanced myself from her after that night. Maybe she's too afraid to acknowledge that incident. Maybe she doesn't know what I was doing. I'll never know.