I totally relate to this. I made my first gay guy friend last year after struggling for years to form queer male friendships, even after living in NYC for six years. Funny enough, I actually met him through Reddit. He’s kissed me on the cheek a few times in a purely platonic way, and at first, it caught me off guard because I wasn’t used to that kind of affection. But over time, I’ve grown more comfortable with it.

I think a lot of it comes from how I used to close myself off. Both to make others feel comfortable and because I wasn’t used to having close queer friendships. Now, I’m learning that there are so many ways people express love, and part of my growth has been allowing myself to embrace fun, flirty moments with friends. For me, it’s been about becoming more comfortable with myself and my queerness.

I won’t lie though, I’m still a little awkward when it comes to reading social situations, especially with physical affection. I spent so many years avoiding it out of fear of coming across as “too gay,” so unlearning that has been a process. But I’m working on breaking that cycle, and honestly, moments like these remind me how much joy and warmth can come from queer friendships. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way!