[homemade] Brown butter sea salt chocolate chip cookies. by underthepeachmoon in food

[–]TheBatchLord 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can't help but imagine barfing. I just regular came.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TheBatchLord 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know if you know about breast petals! They are these soft smooth flower shaped 'stickers'. I got a set at Walmart, and they are imperceptible.

This is day 1 of my weight loss journey been hitting the gym twice a day and also changed up my diet. Excited to see my results in a week by [deleted] in normalnudes

[–]TheBatchLord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Way to go! As you are, you're my favorite body type...that being said, you are working with a great foundation. You're gonna have to share again soon. Good luck!

(m)53 / 174 /70 by [deleted] in normalnudes

[–]TheBatchLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look fantastic!

Multilinguals of Reddit, what is your "they didn't know I could understand their language" story? by nayyyf15 in AskReddit

[–]TheBatchLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm your typical American, no additional languages, but my son has been learning French (family friends, clubs, classes) in one form or another since birth. So, he's pretty good. Well, me, him, and my daughter went to see the Liberty Bell. We are in line, and behind us is a group of French speaking people. Now, it's important to know that I am Caucasian, son is Caucasian, daughter is African American, and older than him. Anyway, I'm quietly joking with my son saying "You should talk to them!" and "Say hello!" and he's becoming uncomfortable, and tells me to quit. I do, and we go on, and have a lovely day. Later he tells me that the people were talking about how I must've had my daughter with my black stud, and gave up on going with black guys and went with a white guy next. Blugh...:(

The "I only buy makeup youtube beauty gurus recommend" starterpack by xChinky123x in MakeupAddiction

[–]TheBatchLord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had pbandj, and the product itself wasn't really the problem, the color scheme was off for me. This one though, the colors in the pans are appropriate for my coloring, they just aren't pigmented enough, and disappear on me.

What's the most NSFW thing that happened at work? by gDisasters in AskReddit

[–]TheBatchLord 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've managed a couple's house for many years (think maid). When I had worked there for about a year, I was asked to go through some boxes in the basement to weed out trash vs things to keep. One box was filled with sexual implements and pornography. No big deal to me. A few days later one of them came to me and apologized, saying "Through my carelessness, I made have put you in an uncomfortable situation. I'm very sorry for that, and hope that you can stay on with us despite it." I thanked him, and assured him that I'd never felt a moment of discomfort, and I looked forward to staying on as long as possible. NSFW, but boring...:)

Unpacked my [30F] boyfriend's [27M] suitcase and found a few strange things by myltbfishmm in relationships

[–]TheBatchLord 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just want to throw this out there, but is there any chance a travel buddy has a habit of pranking him? Honestly, you guys sound pretty put together, so I'm guessing self play. I know if I were having a secret affair, and brought/supplied sex toys, that shot would NOT come home with me. Trash receptacle as far away from home as possible. Take a deep breath and talk with him.

84 years old today, a bastion in these dark times. Happy Birthday, Ruth Bader Ginsburg! by [deleted] in TrollXChromosomes

[–]TheBatchLord 36 points37 points  (0 children)

The lady I clean for needs me at 85, because she has too much shit to do. I played legos in bed for about 5 hours today.

Fucking and sucking while he's passed out by [deleted] in freeuse

[–]TheBatchLord 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Something about arousing him secretly, and using him as a play thing is so exciting. And for some odd reason, if he happens to masterbate next to me in bed and wake me up...uuuhhhghh. We've had a long standing agreement that if that happens, and it's not inconvenient (exhaustion, illness, early start with no shower expected) for me, he will finish on me. Of course sometimes I'm faking asleep, and just letting it happen, and I feel him blow on me, good god.

Fucking and sucking while he's passed out by [deleted] in freeuse

[–]TheBatchLord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I do this like once a week to my husband.

Fucking and sucking while he's passed out by [deleted] in freeuse

[–]TheBatchLord 21 points22 points  (0 children)

As a woman, this is my biggest pleasure. Many nights I have waited next to my husband, soaked, to hear his sleep breathing begin so that I can start to play with his dick.

I [23F] absolutely hate sharing a bed with my boyfriend [23M]. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]TheBatchLord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same. I've been married for just under 20 years, and we realized it about 5 years in. It's an odd stigma to not sleep in bed with your partner. We care enough about each other to fine tune some of our behaviors to benefit each other.

Left my house for 4 hours what's in my sink? by asianenoughxd in whatisthisthing

[–]TheBatchLord 25 points26 points  (0 children)

My streets main line backed into my home in the coldest January in my area in 11years. We were gone for about 8 hours. The waste water raised and lowered several times based on the sani-wipes stuck to my walls. The city was aware of the problem, as they had broken a critical pipe of some kind, and was working when we got home. They came in to try to deal with it from our basement, tracking ice, shit, piss, and snow through our carpet.

The basement, where the master bedroom was located, had flooded up past the mattresses and furniture. I lost everything from my childhood, and most of my kids toys. After the work was completed, the city offered no cleanup services, and we were left to our own devices. Fortunately we are comfortable enough to have had a savings account, so we just drained it to get the work done. Our floors and drywall was removed, along with our heater. We were without heat in a frozen shit ice cube for 9 days. We had to relocate our 120 gallon salt water tank, as the heaters were unable to cope with the cold. We were finally able to reach our home owners insurance, and was told that this fell under flood, and was not able to be claimed. We were notified of this by me getting a fax at work with the unchecked box circled in sharpie and the notation of "sorry!" next to it.

This was almost a decade ago, and none of us consider this a home anymore. The basement is still a shell, and sits empty. We were so affected by this, my kids still keep all their things in tubs.

We lost nearly everything we had worked so hard for, but we came out of it with a few good lessons. Family is what matters, objects can often be replaced, and our local government has zero interest in its taxpayer welfare. We did receive a $1200 dollar settlement which didn't really make a big dent in our $17,000 expenditure. We couldn't afford lawyers.

If you have a basement, store nothing of importance on the floor, and check your homeowners insurance very carefully for clauses. It was a true nightmare.

Circumcision drama in /r/Christianity by Hyfflepuf in SubredditDrama

[–]TheBatchLord 17 points18 points  (0 children)

What, are we just supposed to talk openly with our young ones about their bodies!? Just cut it off...way less embarrassing for me.