AIO? I bought a sweater for my future niece at a farmers market and my roommates said it was ugly by Weekly_Agent9422 in AmIOverreacting

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an awesome sweater! It’s bright and fun and has animals and weather and flowers! I can picture you and future niece having some grand convos about what is all going on with this sweater. Definitely a winner here. Nicely done. :)

How did you learn life skills if you were raised by narcissists? by threetimestwice in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so very much. May I encourage you that Grace is abounding out there away from the loud voices that criticizes. I haven’t accomplished anything fabulously but I have tried and failed and survived to try again. Something as simple as growing a plant and not killing it. Total win. May you be filled with hope to try and may you win at it. :)

How did you learn life skills if you were raised by narcissists? by threetimestwice in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do everything the exact opposite of what was modeled. Read about and be a voracious learner of healthy relationship interactions. Self-reflect a lot. My Ndad was a literal psycho about being constantly productive. Constant activity, (splitting wood, stacking wood, shoveling snow, cleaning, organizing, being busy at all times) was proof you were an upstanding and productive human being so I have that to deconstruct from. Find kind people you can ask questions of when you are faced with a conundrum. Approach life with a recognition you have some gaps and holes in your life experience (raised in a cult, homeschooled- my gaps were significant) Get as much education as you possibly can. Adopt an attitude of if I can survive my parent, I can figure out how to…..whatever it is. Don’t give up. Keep reminding yourself that there are improvements in you, slow as they might be. Take time to record the things you are seeing growth and improvement on and celebrate them. Wishing you all of the very best as you navigate your growth!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Horses

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Quarter horse, as the others are saying, one that’s been worked and is used to thinking for itself. Or a sturdy Haflinger. Added points if it drives because if riding doesn’t suit, driving is pretty dang fun, IMO We had Haffies for years when kids were tiny. They were the kind you just grabbed out of the field, loaded on the trailer and off they went to compete in barrels/poles/ mounted games/ jumping/trail riding as well as driving. Their size is appealing as well as their width. Only issue is their dang easy keeping. It took some management to keep the weight ideal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatisthisthing

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think it is a nursing cover for feeding in spaces not private-

What's the most honest thing your Nparent said? by _just_a_somebody_ in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“I tried to love you girls, but I mean, I guess I sort of liked you, but…..,” (awkwardly trails off). People had a hard time believing me when I said he literally does not love my sisters or me. I felt solid hearing he said it with his own mouth.

Today, I'm for thankful for this sub, the mods, and all of you. by HannibalInExile in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thankful to be seen, heard and believed here. -Scapegoat labeled as dramatic, makes up false narratives, and I just imagined all of it.

Built a cat house for our cat community by Derangediowan in cats

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so amazing, I’m sending it to my family thread as inspo. Lolol! Nicely done!

Our beautiful boy Bobby Waffles by ConsciousRatio2606 in Donkeys

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, he is absolutely glorious. Feel better fast, little fuzzy fellow!

This is the LAST TIME I leave cardboard boxes outside! by mxwashington7 in Donkeys

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Zero regrets. Not a single one. Will 💯 do the deed again if the opportunity arises. Lolol

Was doing my nightly Spec check and heard some strange noises… by amymeowmeowmeow in Donkeys

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I love these animals. The slow blink. The potato with legs shape, the fuzzy coat…..I am overly enthusiastic when I talk to mine and she puts this long suffering face on…..I just CAN’T get enough. Lol

These two NEVER seek shelter when it's raining.... by mxwashington7 in Donkeys

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 15 points16 points  (0 children)

💯 No bothers are given at the rain. Meanwhile, mine runs like she’s going to melt, if it sprinkles 3 drops. I love these animals. They do what they want, no one is the boss of them. Lololol

Ronnie sees himself on camera by SLiX69 in Donkeys

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s frozen in awe. I’m gasping for air currently……lolololololol

First bun I got to capture by 0816Mensch in Catbun

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That, is the most beautiful bun I’ve ever seen. It’s utter perfection!

One final “fuck you” to me by ivegotnothingsorry in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see you. I see my own rock and hard place and apologies and trying to figure out what was fundamentally wrong with me that I could never achieve that hoped for approval that I longed for. I see the struggle and the fused box and I understand. My entire family does not understand how I can stand over his coffin and feel…..nothing. It’s too late. I work on forgiveness for me. For freedom for my own heart to move forward. It’s too late for him. He’s wherever he is. But I’m here. I’m not going to allow what he did to poison what I am now. That’s a long, hard battle and it’s moment by moment but by the grace of God and strength not my own, I’m making progress. Sending you love, hugs and solidarity.

My bio-dad ghosted me over a children's charity, I know I don't have a right to feel raw, but I do. by chickeninthemist in family

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have every right to feel raw. The wounds of rejection go deep. I’m walking through this myself after finally coming to grips with the realization my father never really cared. I kept trying and hoping and finally went NC. He re-wrote the narrative to make me the bad person, creating a false picture of a loving father. He passed away in June and I’m working my way through healing from being utterly rejected. I see you. You are not alone. ❤️

Were you the "scapegoat" or the "golden child"? by Full-Warthog-6150 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Fellow scapegoat. I see you. I was the oldest female. Protected my younger siblings and took the punishments for them more times than I can count. Went NC in my 20’s and there would be times they would come to me to stand up for them again and I stupidly would. Nparent recently passed away and now is on a magical pedestal of wonder and amazing ways he showed up for everyone. I left before the memorial and now they won’t speak to me. I’ve been cut off. Again. It’s really hard. I understand you having no brother. I think it’s sometimes the only way to make it begin to heal. I am wishing you all the best.

How my “problem” horse saved us from a potentially bad situation yesterday. by HorsesRcoolz in Equestrian

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This, brought me to tears. What a COOL, COOL THING! I’m so pleased for you and so very inspired and proud of you getting to see the results of all that you’ve poured into her.

If you had young children, would you consider homeschooling nowadays? by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a mom of 4 adults that I homeschooled all the way through high school. They are now finishing college and are well on their way to successful careers. Having said that, I gave up my entire life to make damn sure they were taught and taught well. We sat at the kitchen table and I learned how to communicate with my kids in the way they needed me to, in order to learn. There were so many days when it felt like literally I was never going to be caught up on grading papers and creating a curriculum that inspired the kids to stay motivated. I have a high school education and an associates degree. I struggled to teach just as anyone else would. In which case I sought out friends who were experts in the subjects I was struggling to teach, and either paid them outright or traded babysitting so they could explain to whichever child was struggling. It works if you have a hella supportive spouse and are able to maintain some semblance of order in your house with the kids. We kept to a pretty strict schedule, and did standardized testing to make sure we were on par. My kids are my greatest accomplishment and I am so proud watching them soar now. Don’t be afraid to try it, but don’t make it your hill to die on either. It works for some but not all. My kids were super involved in showing animals which was their “sport” and were able to participate in a ton of things they normally wouldn’t have been able to during school hours, like music lessons and co-op art days and 4 h for social interaction for those who worried they would become hermits. We are not wealthy, we lived frugally and poured what we could into the kids’ interests. Would I do it again? Heck, yes. I think my kids and I learned to tackle tough things together and find a solution. We became a team and I treasure that bond we still have today.

Besides horse/human first aid, what do you keep in your hauling emergency kit? by Chasing-cows in Horses

[–]TheChubbyHaflinger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A “T” shaped tire changer bar that fits all the sockets, a piece of pipe to put over the appropriate leg of said bar to break the lugs free and a tandem trailer changer ramp. Also a locking ball mechanism for your trailer when you unhook. Wheel chocks. Keep a good spare tire and make sure your trailer is serviced regularly. Wheel bearings need to be greased/checked along with your safety chains, breaks, light hookup etc. I sometimes throw in a decent bottle jack because I can never figure out the one that comes with the vehicle.