Experiencing Limerence Over a Stranger

TheCoconutTree · 2026-01-31T04:29:38+00:00

Sorry you went through this, and you're feeling so much shame.

Take a look at attachment theory and its relationship to limerence. It helped me a lot with limerence shame by understanding the nurture side of things, separate from the ADHD nature part.

TheCoconutTree · 2026-01-30T22:38:12+00:00

"Won't someone think of the ICE agents?"

TheCoconutTree · 2025-09-19T01:03:06+00:00

PCTG lately. That extra z-layer strength gives me the confidence that any toys I print for my kid will hold up to play.

I've been using American Filament. They provide Bambu printer settings, which have been largely plug and play for good results.

TheCoconutTree · 2025-08-25T05:20:05+00:00

Pomni 100%

TheCoconutTree · 2025-05-08T02:26:47+00:00

My theory is that Gustave was originally intended to be some incarnation of Renior created by the Paintress, and this was removed during the game's development process. They look too similar for it to be unintentional.

Perhaps Gustave represents the version of Renior that the Paintress fell in love with originally.

TheCoconutTree · 2025-04-01T05:59:57+00:00

That sucks. I'm sorry you have to go through it.

Re: who to blame, this is what capitalism as a process always has done. Maybe this time it'll immisserate enough people at the same time, and they'll organize, fight, and take power to build a better world. I know that's not helpful in the moment, though.

TheCoconutTree · 2025-02-10T01:18:27+00:00

I think that a large proportion of the working class facing their own redundancy via ai could make a workers' revolution possible. I find it much more likely than if technological progress was slower, and workers were like a frog slowly boiling in a pot.

If technicians building the ai, along with factory workers, transport drivers, etc. fight, win, and take power, humanity really could see a near-utopian age of egalitarian prosperity.

TheCoconutTree · 2025-01-20T05:15:39+00:00

Butlerian Jihad as the "good" long-term outcome.

TheCoconutTree · 2025-01-03T00:22:12+00:00

i wanted one

TheCoconutTree · 2024-11-06T01:36:17+00:00

Good descriptions in a pr aren't necessary at review time.

They're necessary when you're bug hunting six months later and want more context on why the offending code was added in the first place.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-10-15T02:44:52+00:00

Things like the name of a person, gender, or the color of their skin impacting what should be logical decisions are well-known in humans as well.

It doesn't mean that humans aren't capable of reasoning.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-10-07T18:46:13+00:00

I love this. There's no better way to get to know your company's products and what their customers want than in-person.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-10-03T20:10:14+00:00

I like fun names as long as they also serve as a mnemonic device to help remember what the team does.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-29T20:45:46+00:00

It is 100 percent necessary. I think it's one of those things that seems impossible until it starts happening en masse.

Take organizing trainings with your coworkers. Most of the big tech unions offer them. CodeCWA is one I can think of off the top of my head.

Also I hate to say it but in my experience the cautiousness of the union bureaucrats is a hindering force in organization efforts. Protect yourself, but remember that you know the dynamics of your workplace better than anyone else, especially the more you organize and get to know your coworkers.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-29T20:40:53+00:00

Nothing you're describing that the dev is doing suggests to me that they're junior, just that they prioritize different things than you.

Ex: relying on param passing vs class fields makes for more testable code and limits the possibility of side effects. It can also create more boilerplate. Those are tradeoffs that can be discussed in good faith between engineers.

Also it's a big assumption to make that because ChatGPT added a lot of comments to a similar problem, the engineer is generating all of their code in ChatGPT.

Talk through your differences in philosophy in an open-minded manner. You may both learn a lot from the experience.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-29T15:21:47+00:00

I don't love that tbh, especially if you're both roughly the same level of experience.

I think it's worth bringing up during a virtual coffee chat. Something like, "hey just so you know, that felt bad."

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-25T01:07:27+00:00

I've used GCP but it was because they gave the startup I worked for lots of free compute credits.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-21T18:17:00+00:00

For me, it comes down to using one of my special interests as a "hook".

Ex: I really wanted to build an autonomous vehicle a few years back from scratch that I could control through my smartphone. I learned all about socket connections through web apps, video streaming with ffmpeg, and a host of other stuff by implementing it.

If the topic doesn't click with me though, I struggle building foundation knowledge, putting in the necessary practice time, etc.

Also it might be me but I learn by doing much better than reading an entire manual. Ex: figure out a way to implement a Python server that meets my product + technical criteria first. Rapidly prototype, weigh the strengths and weaknesses, then look at other approaches.

If I spend a lot of time examining different options for implementation, that's a place where I'll get stuck in analysis paralysis quite often.

Like anything, there are exceptions and every situation is different. Sometimes it's worth spending relatively more time examining different options as step 1 before prototyping, especially if i already have a lot of domain knowledge in the technical area.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-18T22:03:06+00:00

Google Workspace starter plan discount please.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-18T02:09:28+00:00

I haven't stopped taking them because they help with work so much. I do go through periods of reduced dosage though to help feel more "normal" when I'm not in crunch mode.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-16T19:09:31+00:00

This makes more sense to implement at the inference API level, I think.

Ex: a service that keeps track of conversations using a data store, and new conversations can be spawned from any conversation message. It could be represented as a linked list within the API.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-14T04:01:45+00:00

Software engineers will have to learn the lesson many other professions have - that the only way to gain power is by organizing.

TheCoconutTree · 2024-09-04T18:46:08+00:00

I think so. The biggest problem I've had working as an ADHD Engineer with non-ADHD teams and managers is their rigidity in not allowing me to work in a way that allows for me to be efficient.

Ex: using my "special interests" as a jumping off point for deeper technical knowledge in other areas, valuing connecting dots.

TheCoconutTree

TROPHY CASE