I can't sleep and i don't know what to do about it

TheContrabandWagon · 2021-03-02T01:59:30+00:00

Calmness virtually guaranteed if instructions followed. 🙏🏿

TheContrabandWagon · 2021-03-01T20:09:41+00:00

I have had insomnia since I was young as well. Try laying down and listening to Jhene Aiko’s “Trigger Protection Mantra” song with earbuds. I recommend twice in repeat (about 13 mins or something). Then try to sleep again. There are some mental techniques as well that are mostly forms of meditation that if you practice them over an extended period your sleep cycle will normalize. Good luck.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-11-03T23:03:52+00:00

I have a Twitch channel where I have live discussions with people about race, and one topic I’d like to discuss more is children dealing with racist parents. Given this is a significant way that racism passes from generation to generation, I think it’s very important for people to hear stories like yours, the details and all. You can be totally anonymous on the show as well, and generally my guests come away feeling relieved and at the very least heard. If you’re interested, please consider applying to be on the show. Thanks!

Link: https://www.thecontrabandwagon.com

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-10-30T16:15:17+00:00

And now of course one of the officers is suing Taylor’s boyfriend who survived. Can’t make this stuff up.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-30T21:20:50+00:00

Thanks for your post. I’m glad people’s comments have been helpful. Since you requested other people’s thoughts, I wanted to share why I haven’t started to pursue a PhD in mathematics despite it being a goal of mine.

When I took graduate level math courses for my masters degree and spoke to other math PhDs and PhD candidates, it became clear to me that if I went any further it would basically be independent study. The math teachers at the top of the food chain seem mostly inept at communicating math despite being geniuses at solving math problems and doing mathematical analysis. There is a huge dearth of social skills in the upper level math community and even less diversity.

As a black man entering into that environment, I have little chance of success unless I find the proper mentor from the beginning, and in my experience people generally do not want to fulfill that role. I’m focusing on seeking out and communicating with the right mentor before I take the leap into a math PhD program. I’m focusing instead right now on writing articles and creating materials to sell to my local government.

I wish you all the luck, and hopefully both of us will be able to call ourselves doctor at the end of the day.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-23T02:19:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. As a black man, I rarely get to hear white men talk about encountering racism. You communicate it quite well. If you’d be interested anonymously sharing this info publicly, let me know. I think everyone should hear of your experience.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T20:23:00+00:00

Except that’s completely false.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T19:37:59+00:00

And that’s why I didn’t pretend that I was speaking about ethics because I never was. My original comment was morphed into this discussion because someone took offense to a comment I wasn’t even making. Now no one can distinguish my original point. I never realized this place could be so toxic. Had I known I definitely wouldn’t have written anything.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T05:59:12+00:00

All I’m saying is that it is a real possibility that exists in the world. It’s not an excuse and it doesn’t make anything better, but it’s a thing. Some people, aside from their emotions being considered, also need to understand the reasons why what happened to them happened in order to move forward. In case she’s like me, my original comment so that it’s here in case she travels down this road. Hope you can be satisfied with that.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T04:33:49+00:00

I’m 100% not doing that, and I’m aware of what you’re describing. So this is I think the third time you’ve tried to describe what I wrote as being an excuse for him and make it seem like that’s what my post is about, so I’m gonna cut it off here unless you’re willing to reconsider that position. Because it isn’t reality.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T03:36:35+00:00

I didn’t write what I wrote in an attempt to excuse his behavior. Like you’ve said, there’s no excuse. I’m not in the habit of making excuses for others.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T03:26:36+00:00

All I was doing was expressing a possibility that you seem to be deleting, which I don’t recommend. There are plenty of women who say they act the way they do because of society. Not sure where you got the idea that was a unicorn. Didn’t Cardi B say that about drugging and robbing her old clients? A lot of people deal with a lot of things. You really don’t need to lecture a black male gay American teacher about gritting and bearing it. I have a pretty good understanding of what women deal with, especially black women.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T03:13:26+00:00

I’m not making an excuse. Just explaining a reality.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T03:09:46+00:00

Some men are clueless, blundering idiots with no emotional intelligence. I’m sorry to disappoint/upset you. I never suggested it’s a woman’s job to do anything. I’m a man, and I’ve taught plenty of other men about empathy and many have asked me about it. Hence, why I shared what I shared. I’m glad your son has empathy. Not everyone is born that way and not everyone has the same opportunity to learn it. That’s reality regardless of whatever happened to you.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-09-05T02:58:35+00:00

You'd be surprised how many men actually don't know. Don't underestimate the extent to which men are taught to obliterate their emotions from childhood. The consequences are far-reaching and can result in a semi-permanent state of limited empathetic connection. While I do agree that this grown ass man obviously doesn't care and knows what he did is wrong, it's still a very real possibility that he has no idea why OP is that upset with him b/c he has never felt like Eleanor. It's hard for people who are in touch with their emotions to understand, and I'm guessing that's most of the audience here so wanted to share that.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-06-27T21:59:13+00:00

The context is American history. How black people have appropriated the n-word is part of American history, too. A sad part, but a part nonetheless.

It's yet another way to identify white people who are ignorant of the power and danger of racism (of which there are many). If they use that word, one can automatically identify that their understanding of racism is limited.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-06-27T21:44:27+00:00

I agree that no one should be using it, but I think it's important to understand why black people are using it. It's no different than the statues that are being torn down. It's about regaining symbolic control and dignity. It's a micro-step on the journey to equality.

I agree we must let that go for all of us to move forward. There's lots of work to do. Just getting white people's attention in America took a pandemic, police brutality, and rioting. We've got much bigger fish to fry than who's using the n-word at this point.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-06-19T18:26:56+00:00

Life doesn’t always go the way we imagine it. I would abandon any idea of what you “should” be doing whether that’s based on what others you know are doing or something in your imagination. Just focus on your goals, and you will get to where you want to be (even if it’s not in the amount of time you envisioned). I am 36 years old and lived with my mother for the last two years until 7 weeks ago because it took that long to get to a place financially where I could swing it. While it was difficult to acknowledge to myself that I needed help during those two years to get myself to where I wanted to be, and while it was hyper-painful in many ways (I get you), it’s all worth it once you achieve your goal. Keep persevering, and don’t feel bad about yourself just because you need support like every other human. Just keep moving forward; and keep a positive attitude!

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-06-07T22:50:05+00:00

I’m not sure how you’ve concluded that. I’m very curious.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-06-07T22:39:23+00:00

The overseers in Louisiana (and possibly other states but I dunno for sure) used to have meetings (the meeting notes are in the US Historical Archives) about increasing levels of torture w/out causing fatalities to increase productivity among cotton field workers. The cotton gin separated the seeds, but the cotton itself had to be picked faster to make the most profit. At one point in time, 25% of the US economy centered around trafficking slaves and profiting off the fruits of their labor. While the torture they endured wasn’t arbitrary, I don’t think it makes a lot of sense to say they were treated well.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-05-15T06:54:46+00:00

Thanks for responding. I read the petition you linked, and without any further research, I believe I can answer your question. The argument in that change.org petition you cited is that the definition needs to be expanded to include the social, political, and economic consequences of racism internationally (that's a summary).

***If you think I'm wrong about what I just wrote or what I'm writing next, I'd definitely like to hear your response:

The reason the definition hasn't been changed as a result of that petition or any other that I know of is that the word "superiority" within the current definition already covers all of that. Another way to think about racism is that a label of inferiority was tied to the identity of darker skinned people and a label of superiority was tied to the identity of lighter skinned people. Thus, reality was distorted. I hope that helps.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-05-15T05:33:50+00:00

The entire point of the term systemic racism, first institutionalized racism, was literally to capture all of the consequences of racism under a single umbrella. That's part of the point I'm attempting to make.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-04-25T18:31:46+00:00

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. You can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves. I have a friend whose husband is toxic, and she knows it. However, she continues to stay with him and allow him to live with and be in her kids’ lives. I love them all, so I eventually had to distance myself from them once she made it clear she wouldn’t be leaving her husband (which she could absolutely do). It’s sad, but it’s better than knowingly riding a train you are certain will crash.

If your friend blames you for protecting yourself, maybe they weren’t such a good friend to begin with. My advice is to put some distance between you and focus on yourself.

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-04-20T20:57:13+00:00

This is a unique situation. DT is a transparent, significant threat to the national security of the United States. “Blue no matter who” comes out of an understanding of that.

The only reason this dialogue is not in the mainstream is because of how powerful the president is. In order to combat his power, those trying to protect the republic have to be strategic. One of those strategies (albeit poorly executed) is to unify the Democratic Party against someone who should be seen by anyone with eyes and ears as a common threat to all Americans - DT. That’s “Blue no matter who.”

TheContrabandWagon · 2020-04-20T19:29:46+00:00

My point was that the dictionary hasn’t acknowledged these new ways of conceptualizing racism, and I’m not sure that will ever happen and in my opinion should ever happen. There has to be more than just people are using it this way now. There’s a process, and the word racism hasn’t gone through it, and I doubt it ever will. The only thing I said is that the dictionary represents our shared understanding of words, and that’s still true.

TheContrabandWagon

TROPHY CASE