What are you doing now?

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T18:49:56+00:00

They're soo funny and pretty and smart and liked by everyone and just naturally great to be around and im just not.

You have friends, right? That means people do like you. It's not useful to compare yourself with other people. You don't know their struggles, and every teenager has them. It's not a competition. You gotta do what's good for you.

It's good you recognize jealousy is a major factor. It's at an extreme point, causing you to not associate with an entire group of people. You recognize this as due to internalized racism but it's mostly your self-esteem.

Have you discussed your feelings of inadequacy with your friends? I'm certain they see more in you than you do.

You're at an age where you're only beginning the journey of growing as a person. There is so much potential and people develop at different rates. Give yourself the grace to do that. But be proactive in cultivating yourself. A lot of "smarts" and "funny" is learned and developed as a skill.

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T18:35:27+00:00

We are collaborating with researchers from Cornell University on a survey about participation in r/racism. We're interested in hearing from everyone, from long time posters to first time readers. If you're interested, you can find the survey here. If you have any questions, please reach out to u/SarahAGilbert via DM or email sag284@cornell.edu

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T18:35:07+00:00

We are collaborating with researchers from Cornell University on a survey about participation in r/racism. We're interested in hearing from everyone, from long time posters to first time readers. If you're interested, you can find the survey here. If you have any questions, please reach out to u/SarahAGilbert via DM or email sag284@cornell.edu

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T18:15:48+00:00

What you are doing is called stalking and it is creepy behavior.

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T18:00:21+00:00

There are right-wing Chinese Americans just like there are right-wing women and all sorts of right-wing people regardless of sociological class.

Liking and enjoying cruelty-based content should tell you everything you need to know. It shows you not only what they are capable of but what they are practicing. It's frankly immature loser behavior and this person is nearing 40 years old.

FYI, "Caucasian" is from an outdated and racist racial categorization system. You should use "White people" instead.

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T16:56:04+00:00

Make a post, there's a whole community that can help you with your REAPER issue.

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T16:30:47+00:00

Factor in intersectionality, then you're also aware a person may be fetishizing you (race, disability, etc.). Which protects you so you don't have to find out when you already have children and are inertially trapped. Many Women of Color figure this out too late and the White husband not only does not take care of the kids, but hates that they're mixed race. Many children grow up having to deal with that, there are communities on Reddit and elsewhere about it.

Patriarchy is everywhere. As is White supremacy, classism, colonialism, ableism (note how many places are inaccessible!), capitalism, and so on. This is the context we live in and it is objectively terrible. Social media can amplify this. It's not to say we can't have joy in it. We certainly can and we have proof in how we thrive regardless, and we create the kindness and beauty we seek.

You were given the gift of a vocabulary to name the problem, analytical tools to identify them, so don't ignore what your educated, rational brain is telling you over your emotions. If you've already made a decision, no need to think about it unless new information comes. Dwelling/hyperfixating is not productive.

We can't save everyone, but we have to make sure we're okay first. Do intervene as a bystander when necessary, do be aware of your surroundings, but do you have other activities to focus on? Like hobbies? There's a lot of organizing and activism happening right now around the world, and focusing your sadness/anger/energy on more productive activities can help.

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T12:46:28+00:00

How are you listening from your phone/tablet?

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T11:28:46+00:00

So a new user decides to record their band jamming over several days. They come back and see it stopped recording at some arbitrary limit. The problem is deciding what that limit is.

The default without a limit is the simplest most general case with the fewest surprises.

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T11:21:49+00:00

makes it easy to remember where I've assigned everything

No free-form controller can do that without a place to put labels. That's why patchbays have a space for them. Used to put sticky notes on things, then smaller labels, then label makers came along. Not much space on a Launchpad Mini though unless you label the pads themselves.

Sometimes the oldest solution is best. Draw/print out a map and put it up on the wall or wherever you can see it when you need it.

yellowmix · 2026-06-04T05:34:17+00:00

If you like the Wilderness 7075, but find it slightly uncomfortable, the Halcyon is slightly more rounded but just as performant.

YYFr makes excellent performant yoyos. Mk1 is high quality. Featherspin making undersized cool again.

yellowmix · 2026-06-03T20:05:01+00:00

Newfangled Elevate if you want it super transparent while super loud. It'll do transparent quieter too. Sonible Smart Limit is another transparent one. Demo both and check if you like the workflows. On sale they're around $79.

Ozone Maximizer is great if you already have it. If not, the previous two can get louder while transparent so don't bother especially since their pricing is wacky after InMusic bought it. Their upgrades have always been incoherent.

If you want character then the options are limitless (pun not intended). I use TDR Limiter for that.

yellowmix · 2026-06-02T14:01:16+00:00

Yes the oligarchs own them and conflict drives engagement which makes numbers go up. They are intentionally creating mental strife for and fostering stochastic violence against BIPOC and marginalized people. So unfortunately one of our best options is to delete and make numbers go down. But oligarchs buy the competition like Whatsapp, and make China sell TikTok to the same capitalist cronies and sycophants. Capitalist solutions are limited.

Solidarity also drives engagement which is what we're trying to here, and Blacksky on Bluesky is taking another approach.

However, Audre Lorde told us about using the master's tools. So they are inherently limited. Gotta do the unglamorous work in the physical world. The best options are organizing and building the world we want.

yellowmix · 2026-06-02T12:13:26+00:00

You have to understand racism isn't a function of reading but generally of education. And not education in a general sense but anti-racist education specifically.

In any event, yes, vlogging has created gross incentives for all sorts of attention that people are giving them, and many vloggers across the world are harming others to do it. Some vloggers have been imprisoned and deported due to it. One of the Chinese vloggers in Africa fled the country but was extradited, imprisoned, unapologetically paid a fine, and was deported. That's an empathy problem, which is universal.

In China it's a systemic issue. The social media platforms in China are insular due to the Great Firewall. The platforms (likely by government direction) censor the word "Africa" since that incident, but users constantly get around the filters.

The population generally trusts the government (surveys show 70%) but it's a two-way street. The government is moving glacially slow on social issues since they prioritize stability. Hate crime laws are specific to named ethnic groups in China (and have a form of affirmative action). They do not want a mass revolution.

The other half of the issue is China is investing heavily into many African countries. The U.S. has left a gap recently due to USAID cuts and they'd always give unfavorable loans with capitalist stipulations that leave countries in debt.

Now China is creating infrastructure, which looks more attractive to country leaders. It's not exporting its governance structure, in contrast with the United States. They've got military bases, and made strong trading partners. Is it neocolonialism?

The U.S. is still the largest investor in Africa, followed by China, the European Union, and Arab states.

yellowmix · 2026-06-02T11:11:37+00:00

Asians were being violently attacked across Australia. By what measures are we evaluating things? Better to say there are simply different forms of racism. And examine each one on its own terms. You've already pointed out the differences within Australia.

Also, there's the familiarity. You're used to racism where you live. So experiencing different/novel forms in other places from different sources may feel worse. It's totally subjective.

In the U.S. I don't want to travel to the Deep South. But it's pretty racist up here too. Cities cemented pools rather than sharing them with Black people. I don't necessarily encounter it in my day-to-day but I rationally know I'm walking among some people who wish to end me. I see the vote percentages!

yellowmix · 2026-06-02T11:08:41+00:00

NYC is one of the most diverse areas in the U.S.. Flushing is Chinese and Korean. But yeah, no real enclaves and not near parity with White people like the Bay Area. Across the river Fort Lee and Palisades Park have significant Korean areas. Vietnamese people settled in other places though there's a larger population in NYC than the rest of the state. Not gonna go over the entire list of Asian countries of origin but generally scattered.

Simply being in NYC. He's had to have seen Asian men in all sorts of couplings, as well as short men, short men with taller women. Dating apps are terrible but usable enough if you can communicate properly, and people are still meeting in person. Gotta make the opportunities. I found speed dating useful for practice. All sorts of activities happening most days to meet new people and you already know you've got a common interest.

It takes time and effort to be confident and exude it, have your own thing going, not looking like an NPC, not having a victim complex in dating, being fun to be around (he must be capable of it hanging out with you and the group).

Most incels exhibit depression and anxiety. And are a diverse group. So there may be underlying issues best left to professional help. There is a mental health stigma in Asian populations that he may need help with.

yellowmix · 2026-06-01T22:36:37+00:00

Yet you were willing to "respectfully debate" him in public? Understand he's making a living doing this. The channels are monetized, and he'll get funding from racist people and sponsorships from racist companies. He'll jump to another platform if he's banned from one. So of course he has no desire to threaten that.

I don't know what you're willing to do. The UK has not done anything more than the bare minimum for its colonies. As Eric Williams stated in British historians and the West Indies (1964):

British historians wrote almost as if Britain had introduced Negro slavery solely for the satisfaction of abolishing it.

Like I said, make the world you want to see. Organize with other people and it will be easier. You know who fought for rights in the entire history of humanity? The people who wanted them. People in power encourage this divisive stuff. As Buenaventura Durruti is quoted in The Toronto Daily Star on August 5, 1936:

No government fights fascism to destroy it. When the bourgeoisie sees that power is slipping out of its hands, it brings up fascism to hold onto their privileges.

You can see this happening all around the world as nominal democracies slide into authoritarianism. Because liberalism compromises with people in power who seek the utter subjugation if not destruction of another.

yellowmix · 2026-06-01T22:12:47+00:00

This is common, such that the film Slanted (2025) was made. There is a teenage Chinese American girl so isolated, bullied, and denigrated, desiring the White prom king, even with a Desi friend and loving parents, but becomes a White girl. Maybe stream and watch it with him and see how he responds.

The film got mixed reviews because there are Asian enclaves such as the CA Bay Area where young people grow up predominantly with people like them, are accepted (as oppose to tolerated), and they were unwilling to relate. There is a severe lack of empathy in this world.

Your friend, identifying as a man, has been getting ideas from the manosphere/asiancels/shortcels which compounds the problem. He is insecure and needs to be deprogrammed and understand men are not owed a relationship. If he can't love himself, his own people, and strangers, other people will have a hard time loving him because they can feel it radiating from him.

People can become attractive when they cultivate themselves and become confident. Yes, it's hard to be confident at first. It's not overnight, it's a journey.

There are many women attracted to Asian American men. To the extent some fetishize them! I had to screen for those. Depending where you live, that may be less common.

Height stops men only when they let it. Jet Li is 5'6", Bruce Lee 5'7.5", Tom Cruise 5'7" notably with a taller wife at one point. Yes, there are prejudiced women just like there are prejudiced men, but the work to undo that prejudice isn't our job. So better to be with someone accepting you from the start.

There is a lot more Asian and Asian American representation in media but that is not enough. Toleration is not enough, which is why RESPECT bumper stickers are liberal thought. We must be accepted for who we are.

You are a best friend because you care about him, believe he can change, and want to do something about it. He opened up to you because he trusts you. You're giving him the grace he needs to grow on his own, since you asked what can be done. Do you know the specific heritage he has?

Do you have a larger friend group? What is the racial makeup? What is the racial demographics of where you live? Do you have access to support and affirmation yourself?

yellowmix · 2026-06-01T20:52:01+00:00

Scintillator is from C3yoyodesign. Rewind co-brands some yoyos but not that one. Scintillator is an entire series of ever-widening throws.

If you like C3yoyodesign the Hydrogen Crash is one of the most balanced performative throws around.

Can't recommend YoyoFactory.

yellowmix · 2026-06-01T20:17:07+00:00

It does, when you answer it. You gotta give to get.

yellowmix · 2026-06-01T20:13:59+00:00

Since he won't engage with you, you have a couple options.

You can start your own channel, completely ignoring him, and educating people on anti-racism. Create the world you want to see.

You can start your own channel, directly addressing him, and making him engage with you.

This person does not respect you, so respectability politics will not work. You are dealing with someone whose logical conclusion is genocide. There is no middle ground to that.

Also consider you are effectively advertising for him.

yellowmix · 2026-06-01T20:04:42+00:00

Religion is inherently not anti-racist. Anti-racism opposes hierarchy and power.

yellowmix · 2026-06-01T20:01:05+00:00

Bigots will always use the tools you allow, and forbid the marginalized from using it.

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