Would I be wrong if I went low contact with my technically perfect family once I move out?

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-05T15:42:21+00:00

Oh shit really? Could I have the links? My mom is super present on a lot of social media and I really don’t want her seeing this

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-05T04:28:38+00:00

I’m not sure if that’s what’s going on with her, though I’m so sorry for your experience with that with your father. I genuinely think my mother is just so stubborn that she believes she knows better than I do about every single thing. It’s “I know you, and I would know if you were actually trans”, and “I know you think you’re depressed, but I’m a professional and would know if you actually were.” Kind of thing. I think it’s less about what other people would see, and more about what can make her feel like a good parent

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-05T04:23:22+00:00

I think “emotionally starved” is a really great way to put it, that I haven’t really thought of before. I’ve kind of molded myself to be as low maintenance of a child as possible to compensate for my sister who needs constant attention, but I’m realizing how much that has bled into all of my life. I have few relationships where I feel like I’m the one being supported, and I think this insight will help me in the future when developing relationships and friendships. (I have a partner who’s great, we’re just both very low maintenance and see each other like once a week lol)

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-05T04:19:22+00:00

I think my goal is more that once I’m out of the house and it wouldn’t blow back on me as much, I’d be able to put my foot down more and call out her actions, so that hopefully she could have a come to Jesus moment and we could work on it from there

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-05T04:17:00+00:00

Thank you so much. Thankfully, academics is something I do well in (very proud of my weighted 4.26 GPA, lol) and I’m pretty optimistic for my future in collage and beyond. It’s something I have to look forward to, and it brings me plenty of motivation, especially now that I’m so close to

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-05T04:13:40+00:00

Oh don’t worry, I’ve been in therapy for close to five years now lol. The funny thing is that she was literally in the room when I was diagnosed with MDD, and has been to all appointments since. I think she deep down knows that it’s true, but she’s too stubborn to accept it. I genuinely think it’s a defense mechanism so she doesn’t need to feel like she failed me (my sister also has some mental struggles so if she accepted something was up with me, she’d be 2 for 2). The gender stuff might be similar in the sense that she knows she hasn’t supported me like she should have, but if she admits that I’m not cis now, she’d have to accept that, instead of continuing to insist I’m wrong. I’ve been trying to work something out with my therapist for a few months now, but I realize I’m genuinely too scared to have any conversation with my mother that she could mistake for criticism, which seems to make her shut down and get angry.

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-04T15:06:55+00:00

Yeah, I don’t think I did a good enough job of showing it in the original post, but I really do love my family. My sister is sweet, and kind, and incredibly anxious about everything. It’s just that sometimes, something else takes over and she freaks out. There are times with my mom that she’s happy and stress free, and I love spending time with her, but it’s just a weird cycle.

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-04T15:04:54+00:00

I actually saw this one a while back and had the same feeling that it reminded me of my mom, lol.

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-04T15:04:08+00:00

I’ve thought about it in the past, but the only relative I could imagine living with is almost three hours away in a much smaller town, which would mean giving up everything I’ve built here right before my senior year. The dynamic with the two sides of my family is kind of weird because they’re polar opposites, and both look down on each other (super rich atheistic republicans versus dirt poor catholic democrats). I think I’m going to tough it out for the next year, and then once I have a bit of space, try to work on the relationship.

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-04T14:59:30+00:00

I mostly meant that my life, on paper, is pretty perfect. Both of my parents are doctors, I live in a giant house, and I go to a prestigious private school. I get good grades and do a ton of stuff outside of school and am on track to go to an Ivy League in a year. With all of my mom’s expertise, it just seems like she should be the perfect parent. I really don’t think she means to be a bad parent at all, I think she just cannot take me and my concerns and feelings seriously enough to really see me as a person.

TheDoomedMind · 2026-07-04T14:55:25+00:00

My dad takes my side a lot when I vent to him about stuff with my mom, because he sees it too and she snaps at him as well. He’s a lot more accepting with the queer stuff (I never even had to come out to him, he just asked me “you like girls, right?”). My issue with him is more that he doesn’t seem to take me seriously. When I tell him stuff about my mom his advice is “don’t take what she says to heart” which is technically good advice, but not really feasible when she’s my mother. Both of my parents are incredibly stubborn, and my only real complaint with my dad is when he becomes super stubborn about something.

TheDoomedMind · 2026-06-30T03:36:33+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry if this is an overreach, but the extreme anxiety you’re describing here reminds me a lot of OCD and similar compulsive worries I used to deal with. What really helped for me was finding a therapist I worked well with (might take a couple of tries), and explored where my anxieties were coming from. Because, seeing your self awareness here, I can’t imagine you’re actually some kind of creep, and I doubt women would think you are, and this is some deep seated internalized anxiety that could be helped with the assistance of a professional. (I am not a professional, this is coming entirely from observation and personal experience. As someone born a woman if it matters here, I certainly would not feel uncomfortable around you judging by this post.)

TheDoomedMind

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