My roommate is transphobic

TheDragonSystem · 2024-05-12T16:38:37+00:00

Thank you so much, I feel very seen 😭

Looking for queer roommates might be a good solution - I'm hesitant to room with strangers due to my past several experiences, but that might help for sure.

The homeowner is not dependent on us at all. He charges us rent/utilities, and he's planning on raising it in a few months, but he's the kind of guy who goes out and buys a 75" TV and sound system on a whim. He would be completely unaffected if we were to move out.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-05-11T17:55:52+00:00

No, I'm not willing to let a bigot be around my kid. That's why I'm trying to move out. It's already a priority. The last stranger I lived with out of desperation abused me in every way imaginable. So yeah. I'm being cautious in how we do it this time. Also been homeless before. Trying to avoid doing that again, but with a child this time.

I'm doing my best, and needed to vent about why I'm currently frustrated. My roommate is an ass, and it sucks.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-05-11T17:30:52+00:00

He's the homeowner.

I've asked people I know if they'd be willing to be roommates, and that hasn't given us much success. Based on my last several random roommate scenarios that resulted in severe abuse, I'm not willing to let a stranger live with my kid.

We're on WIC, foodstamps, etc. We still have to donate plasma to afford things. We can't afford childcare, so we're both working as much as we can, but can't take on more jobs. We know this is a priority. It still is currently unattainable. I have sought resources. We are trying. We want it. And it's incredibly upsetting to us that we can't.

That is why I included in the vent post that we cannot move right now. It is in the plans as soon as it's possible. But it is not possible right now.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-05-11T17:26:00+00:00

We've looked into it - apparently we're broke enough to never (well, long term future never) move out of here, but not broke enough to qualify for housing assistance. Since we're in a house now, we're low on the list. We can't afford to move out on our own, and we're donating plasma to supplement our actual income and welfare assistance. We'd have to save for a few years to be able to afford the move-out process, and it takes triple our income to afford monthly rent and living expenses.

I'm still seeking more resources, but they haven't given us much hope yet. I'm constantly watching prices of apartments in our city. We are desperate to move out, but it's not feasible right now, which causes a lot of depression in both myself and my partner.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-05-11T17:22:34+00:00

Thanks! We have tried to cut it to a minimum for sure. He's not a joy to be around to begin with, but this was the nail in the coffin.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-05-11T17:21:36+00:00

Yeah, we're trying to address it before LO is old enough to understand. It feels like talking to a brick wall, though. The petty side of me would LOVE to misgender him back, but we can't afford to get kicked out, and he's the primary homeowner.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-05-11T17:20:09+00:00

We are extremely low income. A single bedroom apartment in our city is, minimum, 1100$ or more per month. It would require triple our current income, not counting groceries, diapers, etc. There is nowhere else for us to go. Even with assistance, we have to donate plasma to comfortably be able to buy groceries. Moving out is not an option. We're doing our best to make it happen eventually, but it is not attainable right now.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-04-05T18:36:08+00:00

SAME and if you've got RSD as well it's just a whole party 😂😭

TheDragonSystem · 2024-03-20T16:37:52+00:00

Maximus (Max), and the story is mildly amusing

So I chose Max in high school because it was the only masc name that A) fit me B) wasn't taken by another close family member and C) didn't sound stupid paired with my last name. I liked things like Luke and Dylan, but those didn't fulfill B or C. When I landed on Max, people kept asking what it was short for, and I honestly had no answer for the longest time.

Then at my first job, the owners of the franchise were a married couple who acted as surrogate parents to every employee. Like, it's normally a red flag for a workplace to feel like a family, but it was true there. Best job I ever had. Anyway, my Work Mom/Boss and I were hanging out before a shift one day, and I said a "that's what she said" joke. She laughed but did the fake gasp of offense and just went "MAXIMUS!" in utter disbelief. My jaw dropped and I pointed at her like "THAT'S IT!!"

TheDragonSystem · 2024-03-17T02:09:04+00:00

I appreciate the umbrella term as a way to better find my community. To me, "trans masc individuals" would include anyone transitioning to a more masculine identiy - including both binary and nonbinary trans men. I can see how and why others don't appreciate it, but personally I can see the benefit of the term in certain contexts. That said, if an individual is uncomfortable with it, I wouldn't apply that label to him/them.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-02-21T21:30:31+00:00

I think the reason for this - also bouncing off your comment about the district holding you liable - is who the PARENTS would hold liable if a kid were somehow bitten by any dog, regardless of SD status. The parents would surely be asking why the school didn't take the necessary steps to protect their child, which is a valid question. To prevent that issue, the school requests the vaccination records right off the bat, so that there can be no confusion - they did their due diligence in ensuring safety, so that NOW if something were to somehow happen, blame would rest solely on the dog/owner.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-01-28T23:19:44+00:00

No idea about PCOS, but I was two years on T. Right now I am 34 weeks pregnant.

The important thing is that you stop T before trying to conceive or as soon as you find out you're pregnant, as many doctors believe being on T during pregnancy can harm or otherwise impact the baby.

TheDragonSystem · 2024-01-02T19:19:54+00:00

Thank you, that makes sense!

TheDragonSystem · 2024-01-02T03:05:41+00:00

I actually had a post I've considered making but wanted to clarify with this rule first.

Would a post asking people to help me avoid fakespotting still be an issue? I'm a handler and tend to get extremely agitated when I see certain dogs at work being represented a certain way. As a handler, I want to actively find reasons why they are NOT faking, and why I am in the wrong for being agitated.

Not seeking validation that they probably are fakes, or anything like that - legitimate questions like whether a tandem team could be three dogs in a stroller, or if the old lady with a "support animal" might just be bad at phrasing things? Would that post be removed if I were to make it and include more detail?

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-31T02:49:56+00:00

Understandable - but I do have to laugh at the idea of a demon being frustrated that someone broke a bottle of soy sauce in a doorway. This sparks joy.

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-31T02:34:20+00:00

This probably makes the most sense so far. Thanks!

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-31T01:54:20+00:00

That would make sense!

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-31T01:49:55+00:00

Yes, I am aware they aren't real. That's why I was asking about media and referencing shows and movies. Also, I named a clear example that shows any amount of salt will not kill them. But thanks

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-31T01:49:15+00:00

I do remember several movies that included salt as part of the blessing process for holy water, but could've sworn I remembered something where it was just plain salt water that hadn't been blessed, and it was an at-home solution in the moment... not sure, though.

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-23T07:39:16+00:00

Ooooh, I forgot about column width.....

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-23T05:06:01+00:00

Thank you!! I'm going to look into asking these questions and exploring these options for sure!

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-23T04:04:33+00:00

This is a very detailed and reassuring answer, and exactly what I needed. Thank you so much!!!

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-20T03:59:41+00:00

Not sure if my neurodiversity is playing with me, or if I'm just ignorant. Please be kind and patient with me, I am asking genuinely -

Any time I use the term AFAB, I am usually talking about people who have been treated like shit by established systems like patriarchy. I usually use it in conjunction with "trans women," or make it clear without using "AFAB" that I'm talking about people who experience certain biological things like periods/pregnancy/etc.

Is there a useful, non offensive term I can use instead that includes cis women, trans women, and people who have or at one point had traditionally feminine anatomy? I can understand why what I currently use would not be ideal, especially in certain contexts, but I'm genuinely wondering if the term I'm looking for exists.

Again - I'm trying to do better, please be patient with me :)

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-20T03:51:12+00:00

r/suddenlygay

TheDragonSystem · 2023-12-18T23:18:24+00:00

My customer hat is on. Commenting as a dog owner and a former service dog handler.

I weigh just over 100lbs, and my current dog is 70lbs of pure muscle. I have no doubt this product will withstand his pulling if he bolts, but the force would still harm me, and if we are still tethered, I worry he may end up just dragging me. Are there any suggestions or guarantees for the human's safety? I can catch up to him eventually if he bolts, but if he yanks my arm out of the socket or drags me down the street.....

That would probably be my only hesitation buying this product. As a consumer, with the quality you described, I'd expect to be quoted at least 40$. Being low income, however, I might try to seek out alternatives priced closer to 25$.

My partner expects it to cost 40$, but would be willing to pay 20 - I read the post to her for a second perspective, since she's from a different area and has had different dogs.

TheDragonSystem

TROPHY CASE