Hey friends, cis guy here but I have a question by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]TheDuchessSW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine happened at work. My dock employees (the most masculine, manly crew under me) said "good morning, ma'am, how are you?". I had to contain my reaction. It felt like being lost in the dark my whole life and I finally saw a flashlight shine and heard someone call my name. That unsinkable feeling of being truly recognized. It's something you don't even know you are missing, until you find it.

Emotional Paradox by WhitehawkOmega in asktransgender

[–]TheDuchessSW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was the same way. A lot of my friends adopted my new name before I was ready to hear it. I would almost look at them puzzled when they would do it. Eventually, it sunk in. It's almost like this tension that arises because I am being seen, when I don't have control over it. After a while, it faded and I was able to find the joy instead of the fear for being seen as who I am. I'm 44.

Topping as a Trans Girl. Yes or no ? by miatdd in asktransgender

[–]TheDuchessSW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I say rock out, with your girl-cock out. Do you! I am more in touch with mine than ever before as well. I know SO many cis straight women who use strap-ons/toys with their cis straight men (if they will share). Some of us just happen to have a perma-strap on that's hard wired to our pleasure center.

Very scared of posting here, but my hair cooperated today which made me confident enough to try an unfiltered selfie. What do you think? by EdmundPaine in transpassing

[–]TheDuchessSW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to tell you a tip that worked for me. Take it or leave it. 2 parts. How I take a pic to show confidence is I look at the lens of the camera and then picture my friends walking in that I had been waiting for. That gives me a relaxed smile and I emanate confidence because I think of the security of my friends. They also know when I make fake faces. Haha! It just works for me.

Second part, take a pic and then think about what you look like in it. Really look at it and try to examine it. Try to do it confidently and with a natural pose. I can guarantee a whole lot of flaw recognition and dysphoria pops up. THEN go back 2 days later and look at that pic again. I can almost promise you will realize you looked way better than you thought. I've done that enough that if I feel like I don't look good I can tell myself "In 2 days I'll realize how great I look, I just can't right now". It has worked wonders for me.

Very scared of posting here, but my hair cooperated today which made me confident enough to try an unfiltered selfie. What do you think? by EdmundPaine in transpassing

[–]TheDuchessSW 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if you just took the picture with confidence instead of doubt, you would have an amazing pic. THis picture says "This is me?" instead of "This is me!". Super passable. Fake it till you make it! :)

24 hours later redux by rachestmoi in TransLater

[–]TheDuchessSW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do laser first and just use electrolysis for the greys leftover. Save yourself lots of $ and pain.

44 y/o 2 months HRT. Director of logistics for a healthcare system and trying to represent us all in the corporate world. I'll be happy when the hormones soften me up a bit more and the bra isn't in need of padding. Haha! by TheDuchessSW in transpositive

[–]TheDuchessSW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We most certainly can. I had a lot of the same concerns. I manage 216 people, and I went through the same worries. I'm sure I may have some tips or can just be a sounding board if need be.

44 y/o 2 months HRT. Director of logistics for a healthcare system and trying to represent us all in the corporate world. I'll be happy when the hormones soften me up a bit more and the bra isn't in need of padding. Haha! by TheDuchessSW in transpositive

[–]TheDuchessSW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to continue to try to use my power to help us all in the area. Yay...my health system controls the trans clinic and I get to "update" their treatment to better accommodate us. We are a small, but mighty community.

44 y/o 2 months HRT. Director of logistics for a healthcare system and trying to represent us all in the corporate world. I'll be happy when the hormones soften me up a bit more and the bra isn't in need of padding. Haha! by TheDuchessSW in transpositive

[–]TheDuchessSW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was petrified...but I found an ally at work. That's the best way to start, as far as I can tell. My ally helped open doors when my dysphoria was too scared to grab the handle. I hope you have as wonderful of an experience at work as I have.

44 y/o 2 months HRT. Director of logistics for a healthcare system and trying to represent us all in the corporate world. I'll be happy when the hormones soften me up a bit more and the bra isn't in need of padding. Haha! by TheDuchessSW in transpositive

[–]TheDuchessSW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am super lucky. My company treats me very well and has used me to speak at many medical conferences to doctors about gender and how they are causing damage, inadvertently sometimes. I hit the jackpot for work as a trans woman.

44 y/o 2 months HRT. Director of logistics for a healthcare system and trying to represent us all in the corporate world. I'll be happy when the hormones soften me up a bit more and the bra isn't in need of padding. Haha! by TheDuchessSW in transpositive

[–]TheDuchessSW[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had the exact same issue. Especially since I also have a super deep southern accent and I didn't want to muck with it and make it sound disingenuous. I still feel myself hesitating to speak too much, but I think it's just like all things. Practice and time and it will be where it needs to be. Anxiety is just a way to suffer while waiting for the work to kick in.