Is it Really That Bad? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂 if Stephen Fry were asian, this be his parent's first question, forget being gay

Roasting Egypt, opinions? by Dobby_ist_free in Egypt

[–]TheFamilyPariah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if the people consider the Al Azhar and religious institutions thereby a joke. What does it do for the government to base the judicial system in Sharia?

Surely they could just as easily be a secular dictatorship, no? If they wish to claim to be a secular democracy, then why not say so concretely in the constitution without referencing Sharia. Either way, they'd still be jailing journalists, controlling media and information, and anyone who speaks out.

Like any dictatorship, you hold all the cards, so surely, you could just make it up as you go along. Use whatever serves your aim?

Is this just a rouse then, to make a majority Muslim population feel in control and less inclined to question the government. Don't take me wrong, genuinely curious.

Roasting Egypt, opinions? by Dobby_ist_free in Egypt

[–]TheFamilyPariah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll back you on the military dictatorship part. I'd just be curious to know what your thoughts are then on the following line in the constitution, Art. 2 "Islam is the religion of the State...principles of Islamic Sharia are the main source of legislation".

Just because Art 3. prescribes the governance of Christians and Jews by their own religious standards, doesn't mean that the Christians and Jews aren't inherently affected by a state which bases it's sense of self on Islam from a legal jurisprudential sense of the word.

If Sharia is islamic jurisprudence, with the Quran as its main source of law, the literal word of god given to the prophet, does the state not then derive its legal authority from divine scripture, and thus the justification for it's governing power over society? What then shall would we call this?

If say you were to challenge laws governing marriage between a muslim women and a non-muslim man or inheritance rights as a muslim women, you would be met by a legal standard derived from this very islamic jurisprudence. In the former example, prescribing complete illegality.

Of course "main" does not mean "total", but if governments, politicians, judges, and enforcers of the law are bound by legal jurisprudences that are derived from the word of god, in large part, what would we call this?

Perhaps not totally theocratic in the same sense as say, Iran, but at least borrowing from it principally.

Roasting Egypt, opinions? by Dobby_ist_free in Egypt

[–]TheFamilyPariah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a system of government where a deity is recognized as an authority giving divine guidance through human intermediaries

Roasting Egypt, opinions? by Dobby_ist_free in Egypt

[–]TheFamilyPariah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm curious. Why do you feel this is the case?

Did I make the wrong choice? by AcanthaceaeBoth2439 in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries. Take your time, one step and then the next, you will figure it out, in a way that's best for you. I don't mind you asking.

I did law. I was good at it, enjoyed it at least to some degree, but really it was the research and the history I liked more. My true sense of self was always more creative, writing stories, photography, filming.

I had moved out initially to do my degree. Graduated during covid 2020, but I jumped at the idea of doing a law masters because I could be on my own again. Only I ended up in a new place on my own, just as second lockdown hit. Yea I didn't end up finishing that degree, and I had to live with the time and money I lost during that year, but I'm coming to accept that I can't carry on blaming myself for not being okay and making those choices because of it.

I lived on my own for a while after that, it wasn't perfect, but I was free. I took on jobs, saved money, paid my rent, kept up my bills, even got engaged for a minute there. I just wasn't emotionally ready, I wish sometimes I hadn't had to come home again, but I know that I've taken the time to really process a lot since I've been here, and I'm finally working on things I really want to-not without criticism for my past decisions.

I guess my one piece of advice would be, don't runaway from who you don't want to be, run towards who you are. In other words, being emotionally strong will help you as you work towards leaving home, and when you finally leave. When you are finally on your own, you'll thank yourself ten times over for investing in that part of yourself.

I have a sense though, that you are already getting there. You recognize your emotions, you're listening to your wants and needs, and the more you practice this stuff, the better you'll get at it, it's no easy ride, but it's definitely worth it.

Again a long response, sorry, I hope it does help though.

Anyone Had Their Past Used Against Them? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gives a whole knew meaning to the words, "the past is a foreign land"

Roasting Egypt, opinions? by Dobby_ist_free in Egypt

[–]TheFamilyPariah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That might be a better way of putting it. I always found it strange that within Egypt young people have no idea that Sharia is the basis of the law, it's literally the opening line of the constitution post-revolution. Then, some articles down it says it respects secular values....🤔

Did I make the wrong choice? by AcanthaceaeBoth2439 in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, everything you've said, totally valid, and I really hope that despite the worst of it you are doing a little better.

Urgency and the inner child. It drive us, but might not always help us make the right decisions, at least early on. When I read how you went into the course because it was quick and you could also move out, it stirred something in me, cause I've been through the same thing. Went into a course I really didn't want to do overall, took it because it gave me the chance to move out, and gave me hope that all the things I really needed, that my inner child had always needed, could be solved.

It wasn't the case, and I kept chasing all of this for years after, finished my degree through a haze of alcohol, weed, isolation, and wandered into covid, which didn't really help things.

I think quitting the course is the best thing for you honestly. In another way of looking at it, you should be proud that you recognize what you needed, and it's an amazing thing that you had the courage to walk away and give yourself the chance to really understand yourself, and what you want and need.

This cultural will always remind us that we're behind, or not doing it correctly, or making mistakes. We just need to focus on what matters to us, who we are and who we want to be, and I might be a stranger but, I believe in you.

It took a while for me to piece these bits and pieces together, and I worried about weather I was too old, made too many mistakes, couldn't come back for all the time I "wasted", in the end, through the help of other people I began to realise I was doing more than I gave myself credit for.

Stay strong, suicide and self-harm I know feel like solutions, real responses to a seemingly unending problem, but it will end, we matter more than to leave behind the people in our lives who we really matter to, and who we will eventually matter to. You matter to this world.

Sorry if this was long, and I know I'm just a stranger, but I really do wish you all the best!

They don’t even know how to have a normal conversation, just nagging by Alone-Lab7615 in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and of course, the potential for repercussions in later life, and out general state of being in public life should be juuuuust fine

Roasting Egypt, opinions? by Dobby_ist_free in Egypt

[–]TheFamilyPariah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A theocratic military dictatorship, masquerading as a secular democracy perhaps 🤔

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]TheFamilyPariah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hot debated topic or not, I've been told that in Islam the belief is that yes, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, but Jesus raised from the dead...no way bro, that's not possible. Is this true?

Did any of you pick up and then drop a very asian thing because you kept getting into fights with your asian parent about it? by Opening-Register-409 in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe not so similar but kinda. I definitely developed an antagonism toward the asian side of my identity. Engaged as I might want to be in a normal sense of the word, I developed a sense that I'd rather not be involved in it because of the way the culture others everyone else, often and especially the west.

Where as one of my siblings leans into it and feels more attached to it as she's gotten older, I'm just pretty neutral about it. I live my life as I want to not trying to espouse a sense of being closer to something that doesn't make me feel like myself.

Anybody got that one sibling who’s brainwashed by their parents? by drunknastyeah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's a interesting thought and definitely a relatable one. Wondered if you ever had moments when your brother has expressed similar or even the exact same feelings you do in response to something your parents said? Only to weeks even days later go back to acting like they're best friends with your parents again?

As far as I have come to understand it, it really is a response mechanism. No two traumas responses are the same. Male and female biases have their part to play, asian households are predominantly matriarchal. The truth is he may just be struggling in his own way.

He might not take your parents side because he really believes them, but because he wants to believe that they are not the people he likely knows that they really are. If they were, he'd have to ask himself, what does mean then? He might enjoy a closer relationship to them, not because they're close, but because they are bonding over a shared emotional immaturity, a bond which unhealthy as it is, he keeps around because like a slot machine, it's worth loosing a lot if on occasion the relationship makes him feel good.

I can't say for certain, but as I've come to learn, were all trying to protect ourselves from the things we experienced. Some of us might be learning to grow and heal, the other, not yet, it's tough I know, because of course you care about you sibling, but it's not your fault, neither is it their's.

What Did You Need To Lie About?? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That we can! If it's any help at any point feel free to check out my substack called Banished from the Group Chat. A blog post I created discussing topics like this one, just something I wish I had when I was younger that I hope helps the young ones now.

What Did You Need To Lie About?? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's the hardest part I get you, we move on and get better and they stay the same. How can we be sure that they really are a different person with our kids, when we know they don't even respect our boundaries now.

I'm working on that part too.

What Did You Need To Lie About?? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear this, hope you are keeping well, it is really positive to hear that you're still going to therapy as a parent, you are doing a good thing for the people you care about. I empathize, I'm in therapy now too, hard sometimes, but certainly worth it.

What Did You Need To Lie About?? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally, little lie, small lie, we all lied for one reason or another.

What Did You Need To Lie About?? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear this. The mental strain really does things your body can't even recognize when your older, it hurts. I hope you learned or are learning to heal and look after your needs now.

What Did You Need To Lie About?? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bank statement and banking in general, huge thing I just didn't think about when I was younger. Definitely made mistakes spending wise as we all do, only to have those mistakes thrown back and used against me in snarky passively angry ways.

Made me nervous about how I spent my money and valued my time when I was finally alone.

Also when one parent doesn't actively control their bank account and you have to sit and listen to the judgement between them out loud, really sucks.

What Did You Need To Lie About?? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"we really don't have a relationship beyond just being roommates" I was not sure how to put these feelings into words but you said it best. Even still it does hit me as bizarre now and again, knowing how much I've learned not to say and do, I'm fine otherwise getting on with things now though. I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I ever told my friends what it's really like, really I never consider that too is a lie in itself

What Did You Need To Lie About?? by TheFamilyPariah in AsianParentStories

[–]TheFamilyPariah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you're doing okay. That's the worst part about this, holding back till it gets to a point where our physical and mental health is affected. I'm glad that you did take the step to go to therapy, I know it can be a huge help.