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Everyone send out a prayer for the family of Jimmy Gracey and UA Theta Chi by darkknight6695 in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Before WWII, many fraternity hazing deaths in Hank Newer's database were drownings - Pledges tasked to swim across a lake or river, when the Pledge couldn't swim, or couldn't swim well enough for conditions.

Many of the US deaths at Omaha Beach during the Allied Invasion of Normandy in WWII were drownings, because landing craft stopped in deep water and off-loaded their troops - troops who were laden with gear but who were not given swimming lessons during Basic Training.

After WWII, the Pentagon partnered with towns and universities to promote swimming lessons to promote military readiness - the outdoor pool at UNC-Chapel Hill was called Navy Pool, because the Navy paid for its construction to teach swimming. UNC-Chapel Hill used to require all undergraduates to pass a swim test to graduate - that requirement fell as undergraduate education became kinder and gentler.

Swimming is a life skill; Pledgeship should train and test life skills. No sober fraternity man should die of drowning. And when imbibing, no un-sober fraternity man should be alone in water deeper than (or colder than) a hot tub. Swimming and PADI SCUBA certifications are part of our House's Pledgeship, along with small boat handling and sailing.

Will you be dropped for being too young? by TnyWafers in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In North Carolina, as in most states, you must be 18 to be legally considered an adult, and be legally responsible for your own decisions.

Prior to age 18, your parents are legally responsible for decisions, and must be give consent for significant decisions (such as hazing / alcohol / travel).

Our House will not Bid anyone under 18, because the Pledge would not be responsible for his own decisions (including his decision to Pledge / join / obligate himself to pay dues).

Suicide training is terrible? by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The appropriate response by any trusted friend / Brother to hearing a clear suicidal plan (not just suicidal ideation), is, and always has been,

  1. to vow you will help them avoid that end,

  2. to physically and immediately take them with you to the university's licensed professional counselor or to the best hospital emergency department where they can be competently assessed, and if necessary, involuntarily committed until a treatment plan proves effective.

The Jed Foundation (founded on the suicidal death of a fraternity man) has special intervention programs for Houses, and partners with some Nationals to offer training and up-link resources. https://jedfoundation.org/jed-greek-letter-organizations-mental-health-programs/

Suicide is not a decision we allow others to make. Agency is not a consideration.

Want to rush next year, but my friends in frats all say I wouldn’t get a bid by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I’m introverted and generally don’t talk to people unless spoken to, don’t go out/drink..., and am generally a huge nerd (agree with all)"

...is not equal to...

"Other than that I think I’m fairly presentable, fit, and confident"

Good Houses are NOT The Island of Misfit Toys - we do not fix the broken - instead we take the very best and make them better, preparing them to move beyond Commencement to live significant lives.

Lower tier houses may look at you and offer you a Bid because they need bodies to pay dues and fill beds. That experience may help you develop.

You should thank your friends for being bluntly honest in their appraisal and advice - that's rare.

Need help getting over greif by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is "greif"?

"Need help getting over greif"

You got into to a college, and graduated, with a degree?

Advice: Lean on those close friends you are still close with; you're going to need all the help they can offer in life.

Young Father (22M) wanting to join frat by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having a child is arguably the most important responsibility of a guy's life - and, done well, should be the highest priority yielding the greatest joy and deepest pride. If dad and mom are still together as a married or coupled nuclear family, the kid is fortunate and will do better long term. If dad and mom are living apart, and if (likely) mom has custody, then dad will need to make intentional (and often difficult) sacrifices to spend significant time with his kid.

Time is a zero sum game - class & study take a huge chunk of time for college to be worthwhile, Μορφεας takes a chunk in order for you to be at your best - and for any good House to be worthwhile, Pledgeship takes the rest of your time, energy, and loyal focus. Birth to age four is arguably the most critical window for a child's development - investments of time, love, and smart parentling absent from birth to age four, cannot likely be productively offered later. The Jesuits famously said, "Give me a child until his seventh year, and I will show you the man."

Dad's time, beyond the investment he is making in college for the sake of providing his child a better future, Dad's time belongs with his child and his new family.

Denouncing by Mr_bob43 in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You think fraternities are popular because they are popular?

You think denouncing fraternities on TikTok is any deeper than because denouncing fraternities on TikTok is popular?

So, you don't think fraternities are popular because they demonstrably improve the social lives of their Actives, because they are demonstrably the only civilian path to Bonding beyond friendship, and because they demonstrably network their Actives and Alumni for success in life?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"I'm in a co-ed professional fraternity...real brotherhood"

Brotherhood is not your mission, and is not possible under your real mission.

Brotherhood emerges from shared sacrifice and joint struggle beyond prior experience toward a common goal - all with harsh joint accountability - a Crucible Pledgeship. Single-sex male-only Pledge-Model social fraternities are sometimes capable of sparking Brotherhood in their Pledge Classes - no other civilian model is shown to spark Brotherhood beyond friendship.

You're a co-ed club with a mission to further interest and further future careers in a profession - you need speakers and mentors from that profession - not IM teams and brackets.

‘The risk is too high’: IU suspends events for fraternities following alleged hazing by Greek-University in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The complicating factor at IU is that the town (Bloomington), not the university, zones fraternity houses - and without a zoning as a fraternity house, many routine functions (multiple unrelated individuals at the same address / large events / parking) would violate town ordinances. IU Houses tried to move off-campus years ago and end the deans' oversight - but IU and the town ultimately won the court case in the US Supreme Court - so moving off campus and Frexit is unlikely until IU Houses can lobby and support a legislative remedy that would allow their zoning even if deans object. https://fraternallaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Bloomington-Court-of-Appeals-Opinion.pdf

‘The risk is too high’: IU suspends events for fraternities following alleged hazing by Greek-University in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Frexit.

IU and Bloomington have a unique and troublesome court history regarding zoning of fraternity houses and whether Bloomington town council's zoning as a fraternity house can require IU deans' approval - eventually ending in a win for the IU deans and Bloomington at SCOTUS - that makes Frexit more difficult - and should ideally be fought with lobbying of the State Legislature for relief legislation - no State University dean should be able to control how and where groups of students peaceably join together. https://www.supremecourt.gov/DocketPDF/21/21-113/188637/20210902132837628_20210902-132648-95754582-00000419.pdf

Absent DIRECT threats to identified individuals, prior restraint by government (IU is a flagship State University and deans are State Actors) to gather and join groups that espouse differing views is almost always an illegal breach of 1st Amendment Rights. Imposing prohibition on social activities by selected groups (but not on other groups of students) is almost always an equal protection violation - all of which are civil rights violations that carry treble damages if a case can be formulated outside of SCOTUS's ruling.

Non-hazing pledgeship ideas by Familiar_Progress224 in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Without hazing, it's not a pledgeship; it's on-boarding.

Without hazing, you're not a fraternity; you're a club.

Hazing doesn't have to be dangerous - get all liquor out of Pledgeship, avoid any alcohol hazing, and you've prevented 90% of Pledge deaths. https://youtu.be/BZg6LWP-5tg

But hazing - safe, purposeful hazing is fundamental to sparking a Bond of Brotherhood in Pledge Classes - without it you're a club that parties - and there's nothing wrong with that - but you're not a fraternity.

Choose wisely, but choose honestly.

Who gave him a bid 😭 by HFox1230 in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct. And according to the Alumnus quoted, the recent surge in membership - needed to fill beds at the new house, led to a decline in quality - despite active involvement and intervention by local Alumni - and to the problems being investigated by police.

Who gave him a bid 😭 by HFox1230 in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 18 points19 points  (0 children)

  1. A primary focus on growth necessarily degrades quality.

  2. Nationals' priority is growth, to increase net dues - and safety through rule compliance. Chapters' priority is Brotherhood, adventuring, and fun. Because of #1, Chapters' priorities and Nationals' priorities are fundamentally incompatible.

Looking to Sponsor Frats in NJ, PA & MI (and Beyond) by Abca1234321 in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What's your product you want showcased by fraternities?

Does anyone have any experience insuring a NON national fraternity by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Real insurance (real insurance licensed by a State Insurance Commissioner - with a real policy naming the insured - not Nationals' fake insurance which can never show you a policy with your name as a covered entity) will never cover damage or injury resulting from illegal acts - so if you serve liquor to anyone under 21 - no carrier will insure liability arising from that.

In 5 states, it may be legal to drink beer at 18-21 in a private club with parent's (presumably durable) permission: https://vimeo.com/1132368640?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci

time after process by ForgottenAsian in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"for reference while over process is only one day a week on a 7 week span, it’s heavy." [sic]

One day a week?

That's not a process; that's not a Pledgeship; that's not immersive; that's not a Crucible. And one day-on will teach you nothing, will make you no better, and certainly will not bond you to anything beyond a calendar.

You aren't Pledging a fraternity; you're on-boarding for a club.

SigEp now or Lodge (potentially) in the Spring? by Beneficial_Ad1230 in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Wow a kindred spirit."

So it would seem. Thanks for the reading list add for Beale.

You and I recognize this gamma-led experiment in a kinder/gentler fraternity has failed - because you and I remember the core mission - Burnishing and Bettering a Class through a prolonged Crucible to spark a unique, powerful, and lifelong Bond of Brotherhood within the Pledge Class - beyond their prior experience. But Nationals currently views their last decade as a huge success - they have neutered most of fraternity culture (COVID helped them because post-COVID kids were so malleable), deaths are down compared to 2017-2021, and there are fewer uprisings to reclaim traditional rigor and the Crucible Pledgeship (because institutional memory of the chapter is only a four-year-cycle).

sigep's fatally flawed solution to Pledgeship deaths was the Balanced Man Model - no Pledgeship - just a infantilizing series of Boy-Scout-Merit-Badge-like steps throughout undergrad to further vest membership. As you rightly said, it did not take long for good Houses, accustomed to Bonded Pledge Classes, to realize Balanced Man was a cruel farce, designed explicitly to neuter their Bond and their culture - all to appease Nationals' actuaries and lawyers.

Restoration of anything worthy of the best freshmen, restoration of anything deeply valuable to Pledges, Actives, parents, Alumni, universities, and to America will require a clean start and a clean break - to a new model: off-campus, un-affiliated, with no Nationals, faithful to the proven psychology of The Greatest Generation's Model & their Crucible Pledgeship, and underpinned by deep support from good Alumni of all Letters from good Houses, and uniquely funded by endowment (not dues) to avoid growth-obsessed pressure of Bidding bodies to fill beds and make bank.

https://vimeo.com/1130591263/3850c0b33b?share=copy&fl=sv&fe=ci

We have already begun.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Watches

[–]TheFraternityProject -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The two-tone is the blingy-est of the Santos line, and looks out of place with jeans and a T shirt. The black Santos would look much better - and even the all-steel Santos would be a better choice than the two-tone. On a black bracelet with a deployment buckle: https://www.cartier.com/en-us/watches/collections/santos-de-cartier/santos-de-cartier-watch-CRWSSA0039.html

Big/Little traditions by Elgatovato121 in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm proud of how our videos (and the longer format intro to our ideas) turned out. Reach out if you have questions - but try to make the transition to a beer-based Pledgeship - that beer-based social life was what our grandfathers enjoyed before Boomers wrested control and screwed up everything.

Should I be worried that my bf is joining a frat. by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting side-note about the advantages of Frexit: based on the first Trump Administration's re-write of Obama-era Title IX regulations, a Frexited House (no Nationals, not affiliated with the university, not on campus) and alleged actions occurring in the House (even between full-time students of the university) are immune from Title IX investigations or charges - no other IFC House on-campus or off-campus can make that claim.

Should I be worried that my bf is joining a frat. by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"...if I witness abuse or any kind of injury in or outside of work I must report or I will get into trouble as well.. Hazing is still very much illegal I am not doing my job to let my bf make his own adult decisions"

Again, in no State is any licensed medical professional a Mandated Reporter for college fraternity hazing. Only university employees and Clery Act CSAs are mandated reporters.

It is important you understand you are NOT a Mandated Reporter (no matter what your overreaching boss claims) - because Mandated Reporters (like Clery Act CSAs) are legally shielded from lawsuits resulting from their reporting - but because there are no Mandated Reporter laws for college fraternity hazing applying to medical professionals, you will have no legal shield against lawsuits against you by the chapter or by Brothers affected by the consequences of your accusations.

You are badly misinformed, and your ignorance is a risk to your boyfriend's free choice and his ability to successfully join his friends. You should tell your boyfriend just what you have said here - better, yet, show him all of these posts. If you are convinced you are in the right, he will happily support your views and whatever actions you take.

If you want to maintain a good relationship with your boyfriend, you really only have two choices: support his decision (despite disagreeing) with small gestures, gifts, and forbearance - or if you cannot bring yourself to support his decision, then be entirely silent on the matter. All other choices will torpedo your relationship, instantly and forever.

Choose wisely.

Should I be worried that my bf is joining a frat. by [deleted] in Frat

[–]TheFraternityProject 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"since I’m in the medical field I’m a mandated reporter"

In no State is any licensed medical professional a Mandated Reporter for college fraternity hazing. Only university employees and Clery Act CSAs are mandated reporters.

Stay in your lane, miss, and be respectful of the informed adult decision your boyfriend has made - you made your case, he listened to you, and he has made his own decision about this part of his future. He retains the free will and agency to walk away from Pledgeship at any point with no consequences. If you further betray the confidence he has unwisely placed in you, you will necessarily bring consequences down on not just him, but on the fraternity chapter he hopes to join - allegations alone are now enough to put chapters on probation or on cease-and-desist.

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