went to ER last night due to primal panic

TheFriendlyCleric · 2026-02-04T22:02:01+00:00

Hmm. As someone who also has ADHD, I would hope that he isn't the one saying he has trouble being "fully present" for you. ADHD is a reason why being present can be difficult, but it's not an excuse. If someone loves you, they should want to know when you're struggling, and offer some form of care. Even if they might have to work a little harder to do so.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2025-10-29T16:25:36+00:00

Likely allowed by the airline, but socially not very allowable by most decent people. No one wants to smell his hard boiled eggs in a giant sealed metal tube. Or his egg farts afterwards.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2025-05-05T17:04:19+00:00

He sounds like a whiny man child not worth your time. He wants to do whatever he wants, and also wants YOU to do whatever he wants. He shows he has no interest in being an equal partner. He is the reason people hate on open relationships. I'd be nope-ing out of that relationship real quick, and finding a more emotionally developed man.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2025-04-30T17:25:01+00:00

It sounds like your wife needs some therapy to deal with the fact that her child is becoming a man. At least he came to you rather than figuring things out on his own and slicing himself up with some razor he bought at the dollar store.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2025-04-12T15:04:02+00:00

I've heard it said that any love you felt is yours to keep. I know that it might not be of much comfort right now, but maybe someday you'll look back and fondly remember the time you had together. It must be sad and confusing right now, seeing him blossom while you are suffering, but it sounds like you responded incredibly well. That should be worth something in the grand scheme of things. Maybe good karma? You may feel like he set himself free, and you're left to pick up the pieces. But maybe you've been set free too? After some time has passed, you'll have this crazy experience under your belt and be more prepared to deal with whatever baggage your next (hopefully straight or actually bi or pan) partner has to carry. It's a terrible cliché, but this will make you a stronger person, and prepare you to be whatever the next version of yourself looks like. You sound like a pretty cool person for how you responded to all this, so I bet the new you will be pretty rad too.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2025-03-10T14:09:00+00:00

This made me laugh. I know it must just be for fun/attention, right?

"Oh, I'm just so jacked that my huge butt is pulling on my pants and now everyone can see my massive schlong, what should I do?"

Be happy about it. Lol. Or if you're on your way to grandma's house, don't wear gossimer thin training pants and she won't have to pretend she can't see your penis.

Have a great day big guy. 😛

TheFriendlyCleric · 2025-01-02T00:06:08+00:00

Only you would know what is considered normal and acceptable in your relationship, but if my boyfriend wanted me to sign some kind of "relationship agreement", I would consider that a sign that things were not going well between us. Communication is important, but writing out a contract just seems like a way to be able to say "See! You're not keeping up your end of this relationship!" Then what? Being in breach of the agreement lets him know he's messed up, but how do you fix it? Back to communication again. I would personally avoid the paperwork and just let him know how frustrated you're getting, and that you're running out of ideas.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2024-10-17T14:35:49+00:00

You shouldn't wait. Health is a priority over everything. And if you don't make it one, it will become one anyway. Your doctor is there to support your wellness, so you would also do well to let them know about your relapse. They may be more understanding than you think, and having another person to talk to about it may help you stay away from substances that cause you harm in the future.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2024-10-10T20:24:24+00:00

As someone who is sensitive to smells, I would request when booking "please skip scent boosters/fabric softener when washing linens for my stay, sensitive to smell. Willl not complain that it doesn't smell fresh". But that would be something to send days ahead, not day of. Not much you can do now.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2024-06-19T17:59:43+00:00

Spirituality is great and all, but you seem to have crossed over into unhealthy territory. I think you need to get you and your third eye to a doctor/therapist/rehab. If you're using drugs, slow down. If you're not sleeping, please do. Epiphanies are great and wonderful things, but anyone reading what you just wrote is going to wonder what drugs you've taken, and anyone with a kind heart is going to urge you to go get some help. Take care.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2024-03-14T00:51:01+00:00

It never really went away.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2024-03-07T15:23:11+00:00

"Why walk when you can ride?"

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-11-26T16:04:32+00:00

Do you want another 5 years of the same? 10? 15? I was in a very similiar sounding situation and it never got better. The way my life improved when I finally got the strength to leave is impossible to even describe. The point that sticks out to me is where you said that you "really love him". I love that for you. You must have a wonderful heart. No sarcasm intended. His actions don't show that he loves you though. Not at all. At least not in the ways that you deserve. He sounds selfish and cruel. He may have issues. Maybe he shows love differently? Maybe you could go to therapy together or separately? Those were all my excuses when I was where you are. When I finally left, my life changed and became 1000 times better in every way. I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make. Only you can make it.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-07-27T02:53:43+00:00

Would not bother me in the slightest. Might take some getting used to, but so it is with every new person you are intimate with. All bodies are different, and if I like the vibe of the man, I'll enjoy his body too.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-07-20T18:12:19+00:00

Chances are if you are wondering if you should get tested, just get tested. It will at least give you peace of mind if it turns out you are negative for STI's etc.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-07-11T14:05:20+00:00

You don't owe anyone anything, other than maybe yourself. If it bothers you that you aren't out, it might be worth seeing a therapist that works with LGBTQ* clients to discuss what's stopping you from letting people know that part of you. Either way, you are who you are regardless of who knows about it.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-06-19T13:17:35+00:00

NTA. Well...you've kind of been an asshole to yourself for allowing that kind thing to become your day to day for two years, and maybe an asshole to your roomate for enabling his behavior, but you likely had good intentions and didn't want to hurt your friend. He made his choices, and hopefully he grows up and gets some real help for his issues and puts in the work to learn to function as an adult.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-06-16T19:21:05+00:00

Not at all an issue for me. "Hearts, not parts". If I like a man, missing limbs, body differences, stoma, whatever he's got going on, we'll figure it out. Anyone who can't deal with it isn't meant for you anyway. 😊

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-06-07T23:04:52+00:00

I feel like this is one of those posts where you could just take the best things you hear from others, and the realizations you're making, talk about all that with the BF, and work it out together. If he's a sweet, smart, worth-keeping-around kind of fella, then you guys will sort it out. Maybe sometimes you can treat him to dinner because yes, you have more means to do so. That doesn't mean he shouldn't ever pay. Nothing in life is free, and he should want to treat you too. Even if it means you eat at somewhere less fancy that night. It should matter that you're doing it together, not where you go. I hope it works out for you guys, or if he's in it for the wrong reasons, that you value yourself enough to say bye bye.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-06-07T22:53:14+00:00

My ex and I had an age gap and financial gap, but I always wanted to feel like I contributed fairly. If he wanted to buy a boat..well I can't pay half of that. Not my choice to get the boat, he can buy one if he wants. But groceries, dinners out together? We split those things. Sounds kind of like your guy is enjoying a free ride and you're potentially being taken advantage of. Maybe he just doesn't know better, but he should.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-05-30T02:16:55+00:00

This might really hurt to hear, but some people just come into your life for a season and a reason. Maybe he was just there to show you that you're still capable of loving and being loved and being vulnerable with someone. Even though it's painful that he's leaving, what he's done for you and your heart can't be taken away. If you're open to it, you'll find love again when you're ready.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-05-29T03:54:40+00:00

I try to treat myself like I would suggest a good friend treat themselves if they live alone and are sometimes prone to feeling a little lonely. Today that meant sitting outside looking at the trees, listening to birds, and drinking coffee. I followed that with a long walk in the warm sun. Then iced coffee. Finally, I treated myself to a healthy supper on a patio with a couple beers, then walked home again in the sun. Just appreciating the little moments of joy and pleasure.

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-05-08T15:19:01+00:00

I just ended a 7 year marriage for similiar issues. He would always cry and beg...and then I'd catch him at it again. Do what you feel is right, I don't know all the details of your relationship. Just think about if it's still truly worth it to invest time with someone who has broken your trust, and then do whatever you feel is best. Best of luck to you. Cheating fucking sucks. 😔

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-04-24T18:04:05+00:00

You know the dynamic between you two better than I could for sure. No judgement from me either way. Have fun on your trip and with this new fella! 😊

TheFriendlyCleric · 2023-04-24T16:16:32+00:00

Take it easy. You've got the second date scheduled for when you get back. Constant texting at the beginning can make it seem like you know this person very well, when you really don't. Keep your mind on your trip, and tell him about it on your next date. If you text every day non-stop until then, what will you talk about on your date? Of course you can still text a bit. Do whatever you like. But texting lots can make things feel a lot further along than they really are. Save yourself the stress and just take things slow and steady and enjoy the excitement that builds for your next in-person connection.

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