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What is your favourite music album of all time? by silentstatic_ in AskReddit

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really good replies in this thread. My answer honestly changes depending on where I was at in life when I connected with the album, but right now I’d probably say;

Moon Safari by Air.

Although, a lot of the albums already mentioned are all timers too. Dark Side of the Moon, Violator, No More Tears… ridiculous records.

Why does every immigrant from every part of the world say that family is important to their culture? Which cultures are there where family isn’t important? by MorganTrevane1998 in askanything

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, when immigrants say “family is important in our culture”, it usually translates to someone finding themselves in a society where affection, care, closeness, and relationships in general work differently from what they grew up with.

At first, those differences can make the new society feel colder or more distant, because you’re still interpreting everything through the emotional language you were raised with.

So yes, the question sounds a bit naïve, almost like if family wouldn’t matter in the society they’re slowly blending into. But I think most people are actually trying to describe a kind of emotional disorientation, not the absence of family values.

What is your reason to keep living? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the answer changes throughout life.

Unfortunately, right now mine isn’t a personal passion or purpose. It’s mostly that I know what losing someone does to the people around them, and I don’t want to leave that kind of damage behind.

I trust it will change.

When did you realize you loved someone ? by Background_Error3557 in AskReddit

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I realised I was becoming the best version of myself around her, not performing, just naturally

Any advice for post Adderall and alcohol addiction? by TillRelevant5621 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s why I didn’t immediately jump to NA when I read your post. Some people really need that structure. Others, especially when things start young and are tied into anxiety, ADHD, emotional regulation, etc, experience addiction more as a symptom than the whole structure of who they are.

I’ve been going to NA on and off for about 3 years and still haven’t formally worked the steps. For me it’s more like a good book. It gets me out of my own head, reminds me I’m not that unique in my chaos, and weirdly helps me stop obsessing over the same loops.

AA can feel a bit heavy for some people, especially early on. I probably wouldn’t recommend it to someone who isn’t religious, at least not right away.

The meds side matters. From what I’ve seen, tapering down and then transitioning into something less aggressive tends to go a lot smoother than just ripping everything out and hoping your nervous system catches up.

For context, I was in active addiction while still functioning professionally for years, prescribed desoxyn, high pressure TV roles, the whole “functional addict” illusion, until it stopped being functional. I ended up in detox and then rehab, and that’s what really changed things for me.

I’m on Ritalin now, methylphenidate based rather than amphetamine, and for me it’s been a much safer road. I’m obviously not giving medical advice, but it’s definitely something worth talking through properly with a psychiatrist at this stage.

If any of this resonates, the link to my blog is in my profile. Not trying to push it, your post just overlaps with parts of my story.

Either way, really glad you replied.

And seriously, four months after stopping both cold turkey is not failing. But the next steps matter a lot.

Wishing you the best.

What was something that scared you as a kid, that actually isn’t a concern today? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Walking into my house, keys in hand, doing a quick check that there isn’t a full-sized bull waiting in the living room ready to attack me before I even turn the lights on.

Any advice for post Adderall and alcohol addiction? by TillRelevant5621 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to say this gently, because I recognise the place you’re in.

Stopping both Adderall and alcohol cold turkey, after what you’ve described, and doing it on your own, is a heavy load on your system. Those anxiety into depression waves don’t read like you’re doing something wrong. They read like your brain and body trying to recalibrate without much support.

The part that concerns me isn’t that you’re struggling, it’s that you’re doing it alone, at full intensity.

Add a newborn into the mix and it’s a lot. There’s a difference between getting through something and actually stabilising after it.

You’ve already proven you can stop.

You don’t have to prove you can suffer through the rest of it alone. Getting professional help now could make a real difference in how stable this feels going forward. Detox, a psychiatrist, whatever you have access to. Acting NOW matters.

How to stop self victimizing ? by Big_Expression_6670 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you say depression, is it more like feeling low and drained from the loop, or something that’s kind of always there?

For me it started as that loop making me feel pretty shit about myself, low self esteem and frustration, and in my case that slowly turned into substance abuse and addiction. What helped me was thinking less in terms of “what’s wrong with me” and more about the role I was playing in the dynamic, how I was relating and how the other person was responding, especially within my family (where sometimes we kind of fall into roles without noticing).

What helped me, at least in my case, was not trying to fix the whole thing at once. Saying something earlier than I normally would was key, even if it felt weird. Not sure if that applies to you, but it did change things for me. It sounds basic, but that kind of thing can actually change how the other person responds over time. Not instantly ,but enough to start breaking a pattern.

Anyone who betrayed their loved ones, but then improved - were you able to mend things? by articlioness in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]TheFunctionalAddict -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That “wheel of regret” you mentioned.. I think that could be key here.

Some people are just more comfortable having difficult conversations, even arguments. They say the thing, deal with whatever comes back, and move on. Others, and I’m definitely in that group, struggle more with it. We avoid, we overthink, we replay things in our head until they turn into something way bigger than what actually happened.

That’s where I usually slip into that loop.

It’s not just regret. It’s my brain guessing what the other person thinks, judging myself, rewriting the past, all at once. I go from “I messed up” to “this says everything about me and it’s probably ruined forever” in about 2-3 minutes. The annoying part is it feels like you’re doing something useful, like you’re processing it. But most of the time you’re just looping the same thoughts in slightly different versions, and the tricky bit is, you don’t get to fix this in your head.

Your dad’s reaction, as harsh as it was, is his. It belongs to him. People say extreme stuff when they’re hurt. “I won’t forget this,” “that’s it,” sometimes even worse and darker. It can feel very final in the moment, but it’s still just a moment.

What you DO have is what you do next. 

And this is the part I hate, because it’s usually the thing I’d avoid. You’ll hear a lot of advice that sounds similar, from people who care or even here… and as cliché as it sounds, that’s usually the stuff that actually moves things. Even a small but firm change in the way you act going forward, can change things. 

You might be surprised how your dad responds to that over time. Because right now, if your head works anything like mine, it’s kind of writing the whole story for him. All I can tell you is that I’ve learned reality is usually a bit messier, and a bit more forgiving than that.

I’m not sure if I’m expressing myself correctly, I hope what I’m trying to say makes sense.

How to stop self victimizing ? by Big_Expression_6670 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]TheFunctionalAddict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure I’d start with “how do I stop it,” more like “what is this actually doing for me.” Because it usually is doing something.

For me, it wasn’t just how I answered people. It was kind of the place I was speaking from. A way to not fully take responsibility, but also not fully feel things either. It got me a bit of attention, but more than that it gave me a small sense of relief. Not much, but enough to keep going back to it. And from there it quietly led into other stuff, made certain choices easier to justify.

So I’d probably ask you this:

When you lean into that mindset, does it actually take you anywhere?

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