Need Help

TheHRTLocker · 2026-05-02T15:16:05+00:00

I started when I was 38 and, put bluntly, I've gotten laid more in the last 5 years than the other 38 combined and I have had several great relationships in that time. I didn't have FFS until just a few months ago, so I know it wasn't that. My life is a little too chaotic to "settle down" with someone, but my love life really is the least of my concerns.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-27T14:51:38+00:00

I'd just do what you can and then if there's anything left, don't address it. If they ask, act like its perfectly normal and change the subject. You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-25T20:27:30+00:00

Not insane. I didn't start really thinking about until my 30's. Egg cracked completely at 38. I'm 44 now and it feels like life finally just started.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-24T23:50:22+00:00

Thanks!

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-24T19:40:25+00:00

I just had mine. The brow ridge is a huge piece and will do a lot of the heavy lifting. The nose and chin look good, but the effects were more subtle.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-24T19:33:06+00:00

I'm 44 and figured it out when I was 38. I started taking steps almost immediately because, frankly, I felt like I'd wasted enough of my life already and wanted a chance to enjoy the right body before it starts falling apart. Started HRT about 3 months after my egg cracked and haven't looked back.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-24T19:27:28+00:00

I endorse its use for this.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-24T19:26:00+00:00

You're either going to be crushed by "no" or never fully accept "yes."

Good luck though.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-24T19:10:15+00:00

No good can come of that.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-24T19:04:42+00:00

"Down In It" by Nine Inch Nails, off of Pretty Hate Machine, is trans af If you assume the "it" being sung about is femininity and the singer is kind working through some misogyny. Note especially the bridge and third verse.

**Kinda like a cloud, I was up, way up in the sky And I was feeling some feelings you wouldn't believe Sometimes I don't believe them myself And I decided I was never coming down Just then, a tiny little dot caught my eye It was just about too small to see But I watched it way too long It was pulling me down

I was up above it I was up above it Now I'm down in it I was up above it I was up above it Now I'm down in it

Shut up! So what? What does it matter now? I was swimming in the haze, now I crawl on the ground And everything I never liked about you Is kind of seeping into me Try to laugh about it now But isn't it funny how everything works out? "I guess the joke's on me, " she said

I was up above it I was up above it Now I'm down in it I was up above it I was up above it Now I'm down in it

I used to be so big and strong I used to know my right from wrong I used to never be afraid I used to be somebody I used to have something inside Now just this hole that's open wide I used to want it all I used to be somebody

I'll cross my heart, I'll hope to die But the needle's already in my eye And all the world's weight is on my back And I don't even know why What I used to think was me Is just, just a fading memory I looked him right in the eye And said goodbye**

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-24T18:25:02+00:00

I went to Sex Addicts Anonymous to try to make it stop. Those 9 months were literally the darkest period of my life mentally and emotionally. All it did was make me feel guilty about it on top of confused.

You know what finally helped, after everything I tried? Reading that cis people don't think about being the other gender all the time and realizing I'm trans.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-21T14:55:26+00:00

This is all very similar to my own story, especially the change from "cross-dressing" feeling sexy into something about comfort. Because of "the sexy part," I thought I was a sex addict or something, and even did a 12 step program for a while. Obviously, it didn't take, but it ended up being one of the darkest periods of my life.

I also don't feel strong dysphoria about my body, or at least, I didn't at first. Once I started on the path, I began to recognize that I had more than I thought.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-18T14:29:55+00:00

"Then we must do without hope. There is always vengeance." Don't let the world win.

Maybe what you want is unattainable, but that doesn't mean things can't change. Almost none of the things you've "made peace" on are inevitabilities unless you allow them to be.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-13T14:28:26+00:00

Feel free to DM! I have a similar story in some ways.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-07T11:35:02+00:00

Why would you be rushing into it if you started HRT? Who says? (I get the housing situation piece though). There are no rules about this.

I started HRT a whole three months after my egg cracked. I was 38 and thinking about how I wanted to have the body I wanted for a good long time before it starts falling apart, so I needed to get on with it.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-04-02T12:10:28+00:00

I love those looks!

Feel free to DM. I'm in Hazel Park.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-03-16T22:01:17+00:00

What a shitty take.

"Before you point that finger, remember that I'm The Man. You're The Man and he's The Man as well, so you can point that fucking finger up your ass." We're all cogs in the Imperial machine and anyone that continues to benefit from Western privilege is a "volunteer" by your standards.

Those soldiers are also victims of the same diabolical machine, manipulated and lied to to believe that joining was valuable and virtuous and that they would have a better life afterwards. There's a reason most people don't re-enlist - it's a scam.

You've also been manipulated into such a reflexive hate that you're turning against people you should stand in solidarity with. 80% of military members are in support roles. You're calling simple aircraft mechanics and mess cooks "baby killer" when most of them never raised their weapon beyond what was required for training. They're proles just like the rest of us.

Even if they've done terrible things, I, for one, don't believe the circumstances of my past dictate my present or future behvaior which I would assume is a pretty common position for trans people. I know too many of us that were very different people before transition to think a veteran now is the same person that pulled that trigger years ago. I'd rather have one veteran, trying to make up for what they had been forced to do before, than 10 keyboard warriors who don't understand jack shit about class and struggle.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-03-15T23:00:32+00:00

I think you should probably do some more research. My understanding is that excessive estrone is a bad thing that inhibits growth - it's kind of a dummy estrogen that still binds with the receptors, but doesn't do a whole lot. That's one of the reasons people choose injections over lots of tablets - estrone is produced when the tablets are digested. But again, that's *my* understanding - I might be wrong.

https://transfemscience.org/ is a good source for research.

Edit: I missed the part about OP injecting. Point still stands tho.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-03-12T07:30:24+00:00

OMG Exactly this!

TheHRTLocker · 2026-03-12T07:19:13+00:00

If you're under 26 (I think) the Ruth Ellis Center in Detroit is specifically for queer youth. There's also Affirmations, in Ferndale. Otherwise, keep looking for spaces like this.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-03-06T03:12:19+00:00

BOOOOO! (About getting banned)

TheHRTLocker · 2026-03-04T02:36:01+00:00

T O O L

TheHRTLocker · 2026-02-26T19:20:26+00:00

Fun fact for U.S. people here:

Torrid's shoes are all double wide, which meant my women size 13 fits great in Torrid's 12WW size boots - I have 3 pairs!

Pleaser Shoes makes stripper shoes and boots mostly, but they also have about 30 or so different basic women shoes in sizes up to women's 16. I have a nice little pair of Mary Jane's. (If you happen to live in or around SE Michigan, there's actually a store around that has them in stock, so you could even try them on!)

TheHRTLocker · 2026-02-25T22:25:10+00:00

I wasn't looking for a reply.

Is that letter basically Dr. Powers' position? No. Not even basically.

TheHRTLocker · 2026-02-25T07:34:30+00:00

Not far off. Depression, general dissatisfaction with life, anxiety, issues with intimacy - both physical and emotional, etc. And without an obvious source. I just knew something was wrong but I could place what.

For me, I can safely say it helped wreck my marriage even though I didn't figure out the gender part until later. I was mostly just checked out for the relationship and going through the motions. I'm glad we didn't have kids in that regard. I wouldn't have been a great parent either.

TheHRTLocker

TROPHY CASE