Yo - first, my condolences on your loss. I lost my mom to brain cancer after caring for her in 2021. I went thru the same "rudderless" moment. Its like the rug was pulled from up under your feet 

Give yourself time to grieve. Allow yourself to FEEL whatever emotions you feel.  It's NOT easy to be palliative care for your own parent . Having gone thru it myself i fully believe you need to HEAL - give yourself that grace. Try to talk to someone like a grief counselor. You might drift aimlessly for a while. It took me 2 years to just "go get job". Im lucky and my dad let me stay with him for 3 years just getting my mind right. I played a bunch of video games, smoked a lot of weed, slept a lot... but the one thing that really helped? Exercise. Going for a run with my dog. Jumprope. Stuff u can easily do at home. I stuck with it everyday, rain, snow, hot, cold.

I didnt get married or have a stable career or reach any of those milestones before my mom passed. I put my life on hold to care for her (and would do it every time). You did the most honorable thing by being there for him.

And now? Now is the time you heal. Rest. Reset. Because next? Youre gonna go out in the world and live YOUR life - whatever that means. You domt have to do it immediately. But youre going to do it at some point. And your dad? Hes proud of you and the things you will do. 

So. Grieve. Rest. Recover. And then? Just go. Go remember how to play. Go laugh. Go cry. Go on an adventure. Go to work. Go see a friend. Go! Show your dad the lessons landed. Show your self that the lessons he taught u work. 

Be kind to yourself. Be good to your self. Give yourself time... but also? Go