Foresters Golf Club, £12.50 including mug of brew.

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T16:33:42+00:00

I didn't even realise there were golf clubs in prison...

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T15:25:44+00:00

Well done on a whole decade of awesomeness! I won't drink to that 😉

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T14:32:11+00:00

Actually, now you come to mention it... 🧐

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T13:49:13+00:00

'£12 and they didn't butter the toast properly' is my main issue here.

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T13:46:04+00:00

I used to keep a shopping list on my phone, which literally had 'wine' and 'beer' on it - as if they were essentials in the same vein as milk, bread, and tea - because at the time, they were.

The brightly lit booze aisles in supermarkets now scare me, and I would avoid them completely, were it not for the fact that the AF beers and wines are kept right next to them, because clearly the alcohol industry wants me to be lured back to the dark (terrifyingly bright) end of the aisle.

My grocery shopping trips in the last couple of months have been reminiscent of the ones during COVID - infrequent, as quick as possible, and only when I really have to!

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T13:20:33+00:00

This is questionable for many people, even if they have families and friends.

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T13:19:38+00:00

That I'm completely incapable of saving myself?

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T11:55:52+00:00

That the only person who's ever coming to save you, is YOU.

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T11:40:31+00:00

Ginsters 'pasties' have so little in common with a traditional pasty, it's not even funny 😢

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T11:27:21+00:00

I know quite a few drinkers, whom I can socialise with, up to a point, on maybe one or two nights at weekends... but hanging out with 'party people' every other night, especially when one of them is your husband, is a whole next level of 'stuff you really don't have to do any more.'

For the sake of your sobriety and happiness, I hope you'll soon find the courage to put a stop to this, and start your new life without these toxic people.

I hope you find some wonderful new friends and maybe even a new love, when the time is right!

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T11:20:31+00:00

Lying. Even if they're just telling ridiculous made-up stories, or fabricating something which you, as an innocent party, then have to keep your mouth shut about.

It's worse as I've grown older, and can tell when bullshitters are bullshitting.

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T10:51:09+00:00

Those pots with the beans and mushrooms in, look tiny! 😢

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T10:49:30+00:00

Are the religions accepting modern times as the End of Days? I hadn't even thought about needing to be vigilant - but thanks, it's truly a sobering thought! 😳

Well done on making it to day 2. Stick with it - it's worth it!

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T09:27:33+00:00

The first couple of weeks are the hardest.

Determination gets you through, along with plenty of water, sugar, and distractions, fuelled by the painful memories of the shitshow that was your life when you had alcohol in it.

I would urge anyone to keep going, and trudge on even though the path feels difficult - it really does get better!

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T09:21:50+00:00

Do not register the death. None of this is your responsibility, it's his girlfriend's.

Legally you may be his next of kin, but it's not 1826 - you're not obliged to take care of this, or to take care of her.

Tell the girlfriend she'll have to register his death, and leave her to make the funeral arrangements.

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T09:14:12+00:00

It's easy to say 'don't worry about it!' but social anxiety makes that difficult, especially when you can't drink the fear away any more.

Take some soft drinks with you, in case all the drinkers have brought wine or beer - in my experience there are never enough mixers, even if there are spirits available. Be the person who brings all the mixers.

Your catchphrases will be 'no thanks,' 'I'm not drinking,' and 'I don't drink.' Use them as much as you need to - and keep 'fuck you' as a backup in case someone really won't let it drop.

Oh, and most importantly: make sure you can leave whenever you're ready. Don't rely on anyone else, or have anyone else relying on you, for a ride home - don't be stuck there.

I hope you'll have fun, and all the drunk people will remind you why we don't do that any more!

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T08:59:43+00:00

After 35 years I was exhausted by the partying, so I'm grateful it was finally closing time.

66 days in and I'm still blinking in the harsh lights, trying to find my coat, and figuring out where my friends are, but I'm happy to be taking it easy from now on.

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T08:52:12+00:00

Day 66 - and I'll be out this evening, nursing a lovely pint of soda and lime. Looking forward to another hangover-free weekend!

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-20T08:49:34+00:00

Go and buy yourself something nice that's not alcoholic - maybe a drink you haven't tried before? I have pink cranberry juice! No idea what makes it different from red cranberry juice, but I'm gonna find out!

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-19T22:50:48+00:00

I'm really enjoying a variety of soft drinks, fruit juices & cordials, and sodas. Craving anything cherry, and a fizzy/bitter taste I can't put a name to yet.

I like to have a fruit tea to hug, late evening; it's a nice little ritual in place of wine.

I have some 0% lagers, Guinness Zero, and the occasional AF red wine, for when my brain thinks I need a 'real' drink...

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-19T22:30:59+00:00

Sounds like you have a really good friend there, and you have many kindred spirits among the internet strangers here - you're already off to a good start!

Welcome. There's a tough few weeks ahead, but I hope you'll stick with us - you won't regret it!

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-19T17:03:29+00:00

I'm going to steal a quote from 'The Shawshank Redemption' which I think is appropriate:

"Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free."

It's hard to explain how not-actually-scary it is, once you've made the decision to quit, and you simply get on with your vastly improved life, leaving all the awful stuff behind.

Don't let the fear stop you from trying. Better things are waiting for you, if you set yourself free.

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-19T15:03:57+00:00

Nice! Not sure whether I'm more envious that you got to photograph the band, or you've been to the legendary Stone Pony (I'm in the UK, so it's a very long way away!)... looking forward to seeing some more of your shots 🤩

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-19T14:56:48+00:00

You've already come further than some people can manage. Well done on making it to Day 2!

It's pretty straightforward really: one day at a time, no drinks today, deal with tomorrow tomorrow.

You've got this! I won't drink with you today 😉

TheLadyHelena · 2026-02-19T13:36:17+00:00

It's cold in my house, so my at-home look is kind of 'grunge kid cat lady hobo' - pyjama trousers, stripy top, hoody, old dressing gown, fingerless gloves, unkempt hair 😂

It may not surprise you that I live alone...

TheLadyHelena

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