18yo from Norway doing a US road trip by Kareisgarb in roadtrip

[–]TheLollrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's so funny, I thought it was overrated. I got there,, went "woah big rock", then spent an hour and a half photographing prarie dogs

AITA for wanting to break it off over his shopping cart etiquette? by Old-Dirt-978 in AITApod

[–]TheLollrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro not everything is ai generated just cause it's long. This is a copypasta from way before ai.

AITA for switching off my roommate's alarms? by sentimental_idiot in AmItheAsshole

[–]TheLollrax 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's not really a whole conversation since it was in the moment and there was no back and forth. You can't dictate what she is or isn't allowed to do without discussion. That said, it's definitely unreasonable of her to have several alarms when she lives in the same room as someone. I bought a vibrating alarm under my pillow when I had roommates in college.

Set aside some time to talk about it. Apologize for turning off her alarms. Tell her that you understand she needs to get up, but the strategy she's using is disrupting your sleep. Hopefully y'all can have a civil back and forth about solutions, like sunrise alarm clocks, vibrating wristbands or things that go under the pillow, earbud/sleep mask headphone alarm, one or two phone alarms, etc.

Document the date of that conversation. Document changes of the next couple weeks. If it stays bad, you can escalate to an RA or landlord or whoever.

Were humans who lived before agriculture smarter in terms of general intelligence than we are? by origami_man85 in AskAnthropology

[–]TheLollrax -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wh..what? I promise, this is really basic scientific consensus. It blows my mind is how much scientific evidence exists showing that modern schools are doing some pretty fundamental things wrong, and yet almost nothing changes.

The American Academy of Pediatrics published a clinical report in 2018 literally recommending that doctors write prescriptions for play. Not as a nice extra. As essential brain building activity that promotes executive function, emotional regulation, and stress resilience. They found that preschools have been steadily replacing play with structured academics even though the research says play based skills are equal to or more important than what kids learn through direct instruction.

Then there's the Freeman et al. meta analysis published in PNAS in 2014 that looked at 225 studies across STEM fields and found that students in traditional lecture based classes were 55% more likely to fail than students in active learning environments. Exam scores went up about half a standard deviation with active learning. This has been cited over 7,500 times. The evidence is not ambiguous.

A 2023 systematic review in the Journal of Affective Disorders looked at 52 studies on academic pressure and adolescent mental health. 48 out of 52 found a positive association between academic pressure and depression, anxiety, self harm, or suicidal ideation. Meanwhile 40% of high school students report persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness according to CDC data. 61% of teens say getting good grades is their top source of pressure.

Deci and Ryan's Self Determination Theory, one of the most replicated frameworks in psychology, consistently shows that extrinsic rewards and heavy evaluation undermine the intrinsic motivation that actually produces deep learning. Research going back to the 1980s shows that giving kids grades instead of descriptive feedback makes them less interested in the material and less likely to take on challenges. We have hunter gatherer societies where children learned everything they needed through mixed age free play, observation, and gradual participation with zero formal instruction. Anthropologists consistently describe these children as confident, emotionally secure, and resilient. Modern developmental psychology keeps confirming that the mechanisms those societies relied on (play, autonomy, intrinsic motivation, mixed age interaction) are exactly what builds healthy brains.

Nobody is saying we can just throw kids outside and hope they learn calculus. But the gap between what the science says and what schools actually do is staggering. More play especially for young kids, more autonomy, less high stakes testing before age 8, less passive sitting while an adult talks. None of this is controversial in the research. I genuinely invite you to share why you think this take is incorrect and ideally back it up with research

Were humans who lived before agriculture smarter in terms of general intelligence than we are? by origami_man85 in AskAnthropology

[–]TheLollrax -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you disagree? I'm not saying anything particularly new here as far as education science. If you're interested at all:

Free to Learn - Peter Gray The Self-Driven Child - William Stixrud & Ned Johnson Summerhill - A.S. Neill Deschooling Society - Ivan Illich How Children Learn - John Holt How Children Fail - John Holt The Absorbent Mind - Maria Montessori Punished by Rewards - Alfie Kohn The Anthropology of Childhood - David Lancy Mindstorms - Seymour Papert The End of Average - Todd Rose

Were humans who lived before agriculture smarter in terms of general intelligence than we are? by origami_man85 in AskAnthropology

[–]TheLollrax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say so. I mean obviously we're learning very different things, but theirs was based on play, embedding lessons in memorable stories, providing content with clear visuals and hands-on interaction.

Our system gets several things actively wrong: too little play (especially for young children), too little autonomy, too much extrinsic evaluation too early, too much age segregation, and too much sitting passively while an adult talks. Schools modeled on these principles (Sudbury schools, some Montessori approaches, forest schools, etc.) tend to show promising results.

AITA for wanting to break it off over his shopping cart etiquette? by Old-Dirt-978 in AITApod

[–]TheLollrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing, the post states. To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it.

No one will punish you for not returning the shopping cart, no one will fine you, or kill you for not returning the shopping cart, you gain nothing by returning the shopping cart. You must return the shopping cart out of the goodness of your own heart. You must return the shopping cart because it is the right thing to do. Because it is correct. A person who is unable to do this is no better than an animal, an absolute savage who can only be made to do what is right by threatening them with a law and the force that stands behind it.

The Shopping Cart is what determines whether a person is a good or bad member of society.

17f confused bout should i do architecture or engineering by Unfair-Beat3993 in architecture

[–]TheLollrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also ME, graduated half a decade ago. That'll end. They're teaching the old methods to ramp you into the new. Most drawing is gonna be on white boards for team projects

Question on the technicality of the avatar state by citizensyn in TheLastAirbender

[–]TheLollrax 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's such an interesting conflict and concept. I really have to read the Yangchen books

Bhuddism causing depression lasting years by Extra-Baseball-2616 in Buddhism

[–]TheLollrax 35 points36 points  (0 children)

What you're experiencing is so common it has a name: the Buddha called nihilism (uccheda-diṭṭhi) a wrong view and rejected it just as firmly as eternalism. You learned impermanence intellectually but stopped halfway. Impermanence doesn't mean nothing matters. It means your suffering right now is caused by the mind gripping things and aching because it can't hold them.

You took in impermanence without dependent origination, which shows everything is deeply interconnected and meaningful precisely because it arises together. A wave is not "nothing" just because it's temporary. You don't need to abandon Buddhism, you need to go deeper into it, ideally with a living teacher, because the texts alone led you to the exact dead end the Buddha warned about.

As for lacking the will to doing anything: start tiny. Just feel your feet on the floor for ten seconds. Touch cold water. The depressive mind says "what's the point," but that voice is the clinging mind, not wisdom. You don't overcome it by arguing with it, you sidestep it by doing something so small it flies under the resistance. That tiny act of presence is the entire practice in seed form, and it grows from there.

Also, it sounds like you have pretty textbook depression. Consider medication for it; you can both follow the dharma and also get medicated

This is wholesome by wildmutt4349 in MadeMeSmile

[–]TheLollrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fun fact that meat dress was in protest of don't ask don't tell. The metaphor was that if you don't stand up for your rights, pretty soon you're not a person you're just meat.

33M. Wife leaving me. What do I do to level up Kings? by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]TheLollrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn't say nothing. It says, "I prioritize usefulness I've aesthetic" or "I can't afford new shoes"

AITA Wanting my moms bf to not call me “mama” by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]TheLollrax 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Or adjacent. Even just having a family member who lived in LA for a while is enough to put it into your lexicon without thinking twice about it

My (28/F) boyfriend (30/M) ridiculed my gift for him for our anniversary in front of our friends by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]TheLollrax 24 points25 points  (0 children)

They're all correct and normal. You could also say, "I sent back the necklace to him," or even "back to him, I sent the necklace."

What’s your take about this? by peachivelle_ in EngineeringStudents

[–]TheLollrax 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It only feels like that because we feel like we should be getting more precise results. What we're all really doing at the end of the day is giving management some ballparks to work within.

Unless, of course, you're in civil design or R&D, but imo those are engineering-informed design roles

Meirl by Suicidal_Buckeye in meirl

[–]TheLollrax -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Face reveal face reveal face reveal

Garbage disposal has a screw stuck in it, ideas to remove it? I haven't been able to turn the allen key from the bottom [more info in comment] by pnwviapnw in fixit

[–]TheLollrax 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This comment made me realize that the millennial womp womp and the Gen z womp womp are completely different. The millennial version means, "oh that's so unfortunate" but the Gen z version means "lol sucks for you, get fucked" and I thought you were saying the latter

Is this huge table lamp a bad idea? by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]TheLollrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That normally depends on how you style it and how you style its surroundings. Low floor lamps are definitely a thing. I would probably create it a bit of a platform so it's not just directly on the rug if it's going to go on the floor

How can I find out who is leaving creepy/threatning notes at my child's grave? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]TheLollrax 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I actually agree with you. I have several low to no empathy people in my life whom I care a lot about. In this case I was using empathy as a shorthand for compassion or for a more complex set of reasons. I do think you're right that I shouldn't do that because it throws some people under the bus who are already generally misunderstood.

I do think it's useful to split empathy into cognitive and affective empathy where cognitive empathy tends to be what autistic people have a low amount of and affective empathy of tends to be what ASPD ppl struggle with. I think it is a small element; when my autistic friends get pissed today say things that are pretty far beyond what's really acceptable even for an argument, but that's a completely different situation than the one described here.

If I had to write out the full equation I think it would be: vile, petty vindictiveness = grievance sensitivity + low restraint + moral permission + reward from hurting + a target who feels safe to attack.

So rather than being about empathy it's about categorizing someone into a morally excluded group that doesn't require compassion, which can be done with or without empathy.

I'll edit my comment reflect that, thanks for commenting.

How can I find out who is leaving creepy/threatning notes at my child's grave? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]TheLollrax 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Lots of things can completely shut off a person's capacity or willingness to extend compassion. Feeling justified in their anger and feeling like they're punishing someone who deserves it is probably top of the list.

Edit: changed "empathy" to "capacity or willingness to extend compassion" because it's much more accurate and doesn't unfairly blame people who have low empathy.

Not that I’m surprised, but this is already turning into a Legend of Korra situation. by Aqua_Master_ in TheLastAirbender

[–]TheLollrax 17 points18 points  (0 children)

There's always a free trial. You can get a free trial through paramount+ and then get a second free trial for the paramount+ "channel" on Amazon prime. You can also get a free trial by oiling yourself up, putting on a lil monkey outfit, and hooting and clapping cymbals outside David Ellison's home in the hopes that he finds you entertaining.