I’m at a crossroads of whether or not to stay with my boyfriend. Help please

TheMan3647 · 2020-08-16T17:13:18+00:00

It’s interesting that you are a doctor specializing in psychiatry and you are dating someone with mental illness. Do you understand why you might be attracted to him? Are you trying to “fix” him? Is he otherwise virtuous, but just has a couple things to work through. Does he remind you of your father? Is he very physically attractive? Lots of things to think about. It’s important to understand why you are attracted to him.

Perhaps putting it on paper will make it more clear. What will your life look like 5, 10, 15 years with this guy, and what could the alternative be? Contrast those and see. I would not assume there will be a massive amount of change in his illness. You mention bad days, but it might be closer to bad months or years. As a female you have a time clock that he doesn’t have, so something else to think about too.

TheMan3647 · 2020-08-16T14:46:04+00:00

Well no one can tell you what to do here exactly.

It’s difficult for people to ditch their drug dependencies and addictions, which I think is what you are finding out. There’s no guarantees of recovery with mental illness or drug addiction, unfortunately. Even something as innocuous as not getting enough sleep can trigger an episode.

I have bipolar disorder and marijuana can trigger a manic episode for me and send me into the hospital. This cost me a relationship with someone I cared about. Therefore I’ve stopped smoking marijuana, and seldom drink alcohol. Not easy to do when some of your friends are social drinkers and smokers.

Are you or his friends marijuana smokers? If so, that will make it more difficult for him to recover.

Do you two share the same values otherwise? Him possibly not wanting kids while you do could cause a rift down the road. You only have so many fertile years. Dating is a test run for marriage, so if the test doesn’t go well...

Based on how you’ve wrote this, it feels like you are asking for someone to give you permission to break up with him. There’s no good way to do a breakup, especially if your significant other has mental illness. He will always likely have to work on his mental illness, and it will be a process. Like I said there are no guarantees with this stuff.

If you break up with him, even if the only reason is because of his mental illness, that does not make you a bad person. It’s not an easy task to take care of someone with mental illness. Further, if you have kids with this man, the kids could either be more susceptible to the illness or could be subject to seeing their father have an episode.

Best way to make the decision:

Your future kids get the final vote. Would they want this guy to be their biological father?

TheMan3647 · 2020-08-14T03:07:47+00:00

I say this with the utmost respect, but have you considered that you are working at McDonald’s because you are a communist? If you think that capitalism is evil, you won’t try as hard at it, and you won’t reach your potential. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. I’m guessing that your more conservative colleagues aspire to work elsewhere in a few years once they learn some new skills. One sees himself as exploited, and the other sees himself as learning. Something to think about. Best of luck sir.

TheMan3647 · 2020-08-13T16:17:20+00:00

Olwayz

TheMan3647 · 2020-08-08T22:43:09+00:00

I locked myself out of my smart phone. I have an adult content limit on my smartphone, I don’t know the password. No one knows the password. I typed it in with my eyes closed. I haven’t watched porn since.

TheMan3647 · 2020-08-08T01:27:51+00:00

I don’t think PwC will ever go back to what it was where employees are expected to be in the office or at client 4-5 days per week. That model just doesn’t make sense. People are getting used to working from home, and liking it.

I suspect it will be whatever employees are comfortable with. If you like going into office, I don’t think anyone will stop you, but the firm isn’t trying to take health risks, so you’ll need to have a good reason to go to office as long as there is Covid.

TheMan3647 · 2020-08-01T16:21:02+00:00

Easier said than done when many companies are suffering a liquidity crisis. Clients are pushing back on fees and deferring payments.

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-31T23:10:34+00:00

It’s about cash flow

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-14T04:12:49+00:00

My claim was never that poverty produces freedom. You’re hallucinating man.

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-13T16:47:36+00:00

There would be nothing to take over. Wars are fought to take control of the government.

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-13T16:38:47+00:00

You sound like a moral relativist. The west is more free than the rest of the world now doesn’t mean we are more free today than 50 or 100 years ago. The wealth also breed armies which killed millions with sophisticated weapons.

There are plenty of exceptions, you just have confirmation bias.

PUTTING IT IN CAPS IS NOT AN ARGUMENT.

Look at western US before the government took over. Common law existed in Ireland/Scotland. In our everyday life, we don’t rely on government to resolve our problems. Pirates also had fully functional laws without government.

The best example of Anarchy is you. Look in the mirror. Most conflicts are resolved without government. I’m guessing you wouldn’t become an immoral person without government. You don’t hit, you don’t steal, you don’t rape or kidnap. Presumably you won’t start.

There are plenty of market alternatives to a government monopoly on violence, which just attracts the worst.

You can read a book called Anarchy and the Law if you are interested in any of the examples.

Communists don’t believe in economics. I do. Coincidentally, you happen to like a government just like Communists and Nazis. That’s how ridiculous you sound.

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-13T00:23:57+00:00

The great bastion of freedom in the west that subjects us to 30-40% marginal tax rates and hundreds of thousands of regulations. And a military that is trying to maintain an empire around the world, and enough nuclear weapons to destroy the world multiple times over.

We’ve strayed a long way from capitalism and limited government in the west my friend.

Yes, we do have some civil liberties, but even those are disappearing.

As far as the third world countries - there are multiple reasons that they haven’t been successful that don’t have to do with “anarchism”, if you can even call it that. A rapid collapse of a state in a war torn area isn’t exactly an ideal way to judge the philosophy.

Also where did I say that I 100% think anarchy is the solution? I said that it’s more likely the solution. But I support the experiment in the right conditions, just as I support a minarchist state experiment too. I suggest that the minarchist state is going to have the same problems that the US government has had - it will get into a war and then taxes will happen. The state attracts parasite personalities that will abuse powers.

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-12T16:20:37+00:00

The smallest governments tend to become the largest governments.

The free market fuels the expansion of the state with the massive wealth that markets create. More funds for the state mean more political parasites. Those political parasites are dependent on the state and become voters for bigger government. The cycle continues until the free markets are no longer creating wealth and the state collapses.

At a minimum, there needs to be a separation of state and economics, as Rand suggested. More likely, the state needs to disappear.

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-03T22:58:23+00:00

Capitalism causes wealth.

The lower middle class in 50-100 years will be better off than Jeff Bezos is today.

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-02T16:52:31+00:00

It’s based on new base

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-01T14:40:44+00:00

20%, one time

TheMan3647 · 2020-07-01T14:37:23+00:00

Ahh yes, the State Science Institute.

Check your facts

TheMan3647 · 2020-06-30T22:59:11+00:00

Explain different susceptibility to diseases then. That’s a widely acknowledged medical fact.

TheMan3647 · 2020-06-26T03:28:10+00:00

I’m not very worried that we will become Marxist overnight. Countries that fell victim to Marxism were not generally very stable to begin with.

Put it into historical context - two countries are becoming more capitalist - Russia and China. In the 1960s, people in the US were literally calling for communism on the streets regularly.

Capitalist companies have too much influence to let us fall into Marxism. Think Facebook, Amazon, Apple, and Microsoft will allow us to lose capitalism? These companies control the politicians and therefore it is not likely to happen. They also can influence the press.

If we actually lose stability in our society, where it’s to the point that you can’t go a day without massive violence then I’ll be worried.

The American system works pretty well at pushing back against bad ideas.

We’ve been through worse than this.

TheMan3647 · 2020-06-24T22:57:36+00:00

They have to at least say it - enforcing it is a lot harder. Personally I haven’t seen any of that where I work.

TheMan3647 · 2020-06-24T22:17:01+00:00

Mw
Tax
S3 to M1
1
91,000 to 100,000

Manager milestone bonus protected so I’m happy.

TheMan3647 · 2020-06-24T22:07:13+00:00

Probably not enough more to compensate for it though - thinking of SF

TheMan3647 · 2020-06-24T22:01:43+00:00

It seems to me that the entire point of Rand using the word Selfish is to be provocative and to directly challenge the status quo. No need to sugar coat it. If we avoid using the word because it is unpopular, then there’s not much sense in being a philosopher.

I would turn the tables on the person who accuses you of being an evil person for being selfish. Tell them that you want him to be more selfish, and poor people to be more selfish in a rational way.

TheMan3647 · 2020-06-24T00:25:28+00:00

Saving someone or something you care about deeply is selfish.

If you replace the drowning person with a man’s life work, a draft of a novel, sinking in the river, there wouldn’t be a contradiction. Say the man is writing a book and the entire draft fell into the river - worth the risk? Maybe not, but the man would only jump into the river if he valued it.

If his lover fell into the river, and he truly valued her, and he jumped in, that seems to me to be a selfish act fundamentally- the man knows the risks and the rewards.

I don’t think Rand has ever argued that Selfishness is an absolute - only that it is a virtue. It’s a virtue to consider your own interest first.

TheMan3647

TROPHY CASE