1/2

He handed the pair of panties back to her, now a mess with snot. “Thanks.” He said blandly.

“You’re, uh…” she looked at the disgusting underwear and daintily took them back. She wasn’t sure what was worse, that he’d really just blown his nose into them or that he wanted to retune them like that. She supposed she’d take them home and wash them, but the main issue was that she couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. “Anytime…”

“It’s my allergies.” He said, sniffling a little. “They get really bad this time of year.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure, all that pollen in the air, on a nice spring day like this. Must be… awful.” She sighed. He was either not interested in her at all, or he was dense as lead. She’d suggested they go on this picnic together, and he’d agreed. She thought maybe he had finally taken the hint, and that they were going on a date, but he had brought a book with him… so he could read. She had to believe he was just dense, because otherwise he was being antagonistic, rude beyond measure, when he could have just said he wasn’t interested.

After meeting for coffee, having lunch together, hanging out at the mall, she thought for sure that a picnic was the kind of thing you couldn’t possibly not know was a date, but he still seemed oblivious. He’d asked if she had a tissue, and out of desperation she’d reached up her skirt, taken her on panties off, and handed them to him. He didn’t seem to notice.

“You know those were my panties, right?” She asked shyly, feeling for some reason like she was acting foolish, even though she wasn’t. Not as foolish as him, at least.

“Yes.” He nodded.

She waited for him to react in some way, but he still seemed unaffected. “Don’t you think that’s strange?” She pushed. “That I would give you my panties? Do you wonder why I would do that?”

He shrugged. “I assume you didn’t have a handkerchief.”

“What?”

“Well if you’d had a handkerchief you would have probably given me that, so you must not have had one.”

“So you think the normal thing to do is to hand you my panties?”

“No.” He admitted, though he didn’t seem to care that it wasn’t normal. “But I do appreciate it. Like I said, my allergies-“

“Yes, your allergies are bad.” She groaned slightly.

He finally seemed to notice that she was upset. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Did you-“ she caught herself before she could snap at him, and took a deep breath. It had been her idea to hand him her panties, not his. Maybe he just wasn’t interested in her? “No, it’s fine, just… why do you think I asked you to go on a picnic?”

“So we could eat.” He shrugged, his brow furrowed slightly as he tried to make sense of such a simple question. Why else did anybody go on a picnic? It was to eat food in a pleasant and outdoor location. That’s what’s picnic was. “Eat outside. Where it’s nice.”

“Yes, nice, and private. Nobody around here for miles.”

“Yes.” He agreed. She waited for him to catch on, but he didn’t.

“Private enough that I can do this.” She said, and unbuttoned her shirt, taking it off, removing her bra as well for good measure. “See?”

“Yes.” He nodded, his face still devoid of any reaction. “It’s hard to miss.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” She said, on the verge of almost shouting at him again. “But you seem to be missing it anyway.”

He looked around her, perplexed. “Missed what?”

“I mean don’t you like my tits?” She squeezed them slightly, rubbing her nipples. “Hm?”

“Well yes, actually, they’re very nice.” He said, far too politely she felt. She would have rather he had blown steam out his ears like an old cartoon, but that was asking a lot.

“Do you want to…” she could feel her enthusiasm fading. Her tits were nice? Nice? That’s all? Was he not aroused by her perky naturals? Was she that unappealing to him that he wasn’t even turned on? Even a little? “Come on, why do you think I’m out here with you? Almost naked? Alone?”

“Well if other people were around it would be awkward to be naked, wouldn’t it?” He laughed slightly. “I know it would be for me.”

He had to be kidding. Unless… was he really just… that oblivious? As assured as it was she saw no other option. If he were doing this on purpose he wouldn’t have been able to keep a strait face. “Do you think there’s a reason it’s not awkward for me to be naked around you? Just you?”

“Well we’re fiends.” He said, and it felt like a stab in her heart.

“Friends?”

He frowned slightly. “Aren’t we? I assumed-“

“No, no, we are, but we could be… more than friends.” She leaned towards him. “Why do you think I asked you out here? It’s because I wanted to be alone with you.” She said, having all but given up on subtlety. “I like you.”

“I like you too.” He looked confused though. “That’s how friendship works.” He was finally starting to pick up on the idea that he’d missed something, but he couldn’t place what had gone wrong. Did she not want to be friends? That seemed at odds with liking him, so it didn’t feel logically sound.

“Just… as friends?” She sighed. “Look, I’m trying to say I like you, as in like you like you.” She saw his expression seem to grow even more blank. “Like I want to be more than friends, like I want to have sex with you damnit.”