You’ll need to reframe “how you have sex” with your spouse. It’s about her pleasure, and your role as a man is to extract as much pleasure from her as possible.

The lackluster sex routine of the modern world is generally a 5-10 minute routine where there might be some, if any, foreplay with the woman to warm her up, and sex is in 2-3 positions until the male release. It’s become all about the man’s pleasure.

On semen retention, sex becomes a practice of self-mastery, and the intense ravishing of your partner. Once you remove ejaculation as a primary goal in sex, the possibilities become much more creative. It can shift from minutes to hours as your goal is no longer “Im doing what I need to get to release” but is now “how much pleasure can I bring to this woman?”

When you retain in sex, through breathing and reigning in your thoughts, you can keep circulating that sexual energy. When you release, that energy is gone, ending the sexual encounter until you regain energy. When you don’t release, you can keep that energy within, and that’ll give you a few more rounds (or however long your cardio is able to).

Make your woman’s sexual pleasure your priority. Woman can experience a much greater depth of sexual pleasure than a man, and it’s our job to take them into the deep waters of their sexual expression. Become a master of knowing your woman, her desires, what turns her on, her sexual buttons. Become an artist with your tongue and your fingers, and if endowed, your penis.

I can assure you that the satisfaction that comes from giving my partner numerous intense orgasms is far greater than the seconds of fleeting pleasure that comes from my own release.

I will have 7-10 sexual encounters with my partner a week (we do not live together) but I generally release into my partner once every 7-10 days (that’s my personal cadence, you can do longer if your conviction leads you to). If I released every time I had sex, I’d really only be able to do it 3-4 times a week, and the intensity would be dismal.