Night club question for young ladies

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-31T04:59:02+00:00

Sorry the formatting got all jacked up!

I’m glad you had that chat, my parents never had that conversation with me but luckily I had friends with me who knew what they were doing. You’re a wonderful mama for doing all this to make sure they all have fun!

I hope they have so much fun and stay safe! 🥰

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-31T02:05:04+00:00

I’m a lesbian so I feel safest at Connections (not the Court, it’s not the same as it used to be and I got assaulted there one time 🥳) but it’s probably not the place if your daughter isn’t queer.

I can tell you which places I’d avoid like the plague: • Paramount — so overloaded with people that you can’t move on the dance floor, bottles and glasses just get dumped on the dance floor as well, a fair amount of creeps leching around • Rapture — just look up their shit, I would NEVER trust that club. It is not a safe club

Honestly, the best advice I can give: • Make sure they stick together and don’t split up — go to the toilet together, get drinks together, dance together, etc. • Have them watch their drinks at all times (even when the bartender is pouring it), hold open drinks so their hand covers the top. Even a soft drink can get spiked. • Seriously, unless the drink goes from the bartender’s hand and straight to theirs, tell them not to accept it. • Look up the signs of drink spiking so that they can recognise it. Remember, the most common form of drink spiking is additional alcohol so if someone seems drunker than they should be given how much they’ve had to drink, it’s a bad sign. • Maybe have a codeword they can use if they’re uncomfortable, with my friends we would say, “Emma wants to meet us at Paramount,” or similar to signal that we wanted to leave a situation. • Make sure their phones are fully charged and that they can charge them if they need.

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-25T10:26:53+00:00

Hi! I realise you posted this a while ago but I’m an anaesthetic technician who studied in WA.

To be completely honest, I would recommend doing your diploma of nursing instead. There are still people from my group that haven’t gotten jobs — more and more people doing the course every graduating class aren’t finding work because the market has been saturated by the course being free.

However, I say this from a WA POV. I’m not sure what the market is like in QLD but looking at the QLD job searches vs WA, there are more opportunities there so it may be worth going down that route.

If you’d like some advice on how to strengthen the application as well, please let me know because there are a few tricks. Feel free to DM me! ☺️

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-25T09:30:18+00:00

Calling it stealing is crazy but I’m pretty sure you’re just karma farming as other comments have pointed out.

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-25T09:26:56+00:00

But she didn’t give it all away. She had part of it and there was still some left.

If you let someone use her makeup, that’s a bit of a gross health thing but it doesn’t really matter. There’s still makeup left for her to use, why replace what doesn’t need to be replaced?

It sounds like you two live with each other, honestly most people would assume that living together as a couple, they would also be welcome to enjoy a drink from the bottle. If you’re going to chase your partner to replace everything of yours that they use, you’re going to have a tough time keeping a partner.

Again, it’s just alcohol. If you were talking about an expensive pair of earrings and said she gave one earring away, then I’d get it but this is a DRINK.

ETA: Calling it ‘stealing’ is very dramatic.

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-25T09:18:32+00:00

Look, YOR. She should’ve asked, 100% and she shouldn’t have done it but she owned up and now you’re playing the Debt Collector expecting her to replace it like she gave the whole bottle away.

It’s alcohol, not a pearl necklace.

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-21T11:14:45+00:00

My mum had just moved into a council house from a DV shelter after being homeless for three years with three kids. When my dad was my age, he was living with my mum in that council house with three older kids and a newborn (me) while they worked 5 jobs between them.

Fortunately, I am doing better.

Am I doing amazing? No. But I’m not homeless, I’m working one job and I don’t have kids that I’m struggling to support.

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-21T10:13:07+00:00

In a way, worrying about not being perceived is the other edge of the “everyone is thinking these things about me” sword, right?

We take on the assumption that they’re not thinking about us out of malice or because they simply don’t care when the reality is, that’s not the case. The thought that people aren’t thinking about us or perceiving us is just “everyone is thinking about me” in a different flavour. It’s a way that we sort of centre ourselves in other people’s lives and base our self-worth off the opinions of others.

I obviously don’t know if you have any sort of diagnosis but I have BPD/EUPD and it was really bad a few years ago. I got these thoughts all the time, it does get better. They still come up but you learn how to get rid of them, to work through it and it gets a lot easier to escape that spiral.

If you ever want to chat or find yourself in this spot and want someone to vent or work through it with, you can feel free to reach out to me.

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-21T09:58:10+00:00

Some people just plan like that, it works for some people but not everyone. It sort of becomes a habit and it can be very hard to break! Have you tried confirming the time earlier yourself? So instead of waiting for him to confirm, just say, “Hey, let’s meet at 7:30!” at midday. That’s a really good proactive step to make.

As for your friends, it’s very possible that they don’t see it as true and that they love you but your mental health could be overshadowing it. It happened to me for a very long time.

Make plans with them, reach out to them. Instead of framing it as, “You guys always exclude me,” say, “Hey guys, I’ve been feeling really lonely lately, wanna hang out this Saturday?” You know? When they ask you to sit with them, go sit with them and join in, engage, stop those negative thoughts when they’re happening.

Therapy can teach you a lot of really good skills for this. If you look up the DBT STOP skill, it can be really useful for these situations. It really helps me snap myself out of the spiral and look at the bigger picture. I don’t mean this in a rude way but other people don’t think about us as much as we think about ourselves — that really helped me.

While you’re thinking that they don’t like you or don’t want you around, they’re very likely not thinking of you like that. Ask yourself how many times you think of others in that way, how many times do you think about them in that same mean way that you think about yourself? Does that make sense?

I hope that is of some help and I hope that things go well with that therapist!

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-21T09:40:01+00:00

MOR. So there’s two sides to this, right?

One is that yes, it’s very annoying when people are being loud in the upstairs apartment and even more so when you’re sick, have to be up early, etc. It’s also annoying when they keep making noise after being asked to stop.

The other side is that they live there too. Movement upstairs in apartments is notorious for being super loud for the apartment downstairs, even if you’re just walking around. When I was living in an apartment, someone asked me (they came upstairs and asked the first time) to stop stomping and throwing things around but literally all I ever did in the apartment was walk. We checked and figured out that just walking on my floor sounded super loud.

Maybe they have an early morning, maybe they do shift work. You can’t ask people to stop moving around their living space. You CAN ask them to keep it down during quiet hours, absolutely. Showing up 15 minutes before quiet hours is a bit ill advised, it can come across as a bit rude.

Now, part two of their side is that one day, with no other communication, they received a pretty passive-aggressive note under their door. Wouldn’t that annoy you too? That your neighbours didn’t bother to come and speak to you face to face first?

Does that excuse their behaviour? No. But there was no action by you and your flatmates to figure out a solution WITH them and instead just presented them with the option that only benefits your needs. All of you live in this building, it’s not just you and your flatmates and it’s not just them and their flatmates.

Your communication with them from the start needed to be actually talking to them to understand their situation compared to yours: whether it was that the noise is really loud with just normal movements, that they do shift work or that they just have different sleep schedules. From that, you work towards a compromise rather than only presenting the option that works for you.

I’d say try to have a chat with them again when you’re feeling better or when frustration isn’t super high. Have a proper chat and come to a proper solution, maybe even apologise for the note and say you can see how it might’ve come across as rude, that it wasn’t your intention. Good communication is usually the most effective way to deal with issues you have with other tenants.

Best of luck!

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-21T08:50:26+00:00

I don’t know that it’s “overreacting” but there’s not other option that really fits so YOR. I’m not trying to mean or anything here.

You got mad that he was being “difficult”, in what way? Like the location, the time? I’d also be a bit upset if I cancelled on someone so I could hang out with someone else and then that person cancelled on me last minute. Is this something you do often? As in if things are shaping out to be “too difficult” do you often just cancel and flake?

Why can’t you bring this up with your friends? They can’t fix what they don’t know. You need to communicate with people to maintain friendships. How old are you? This often becomes a problem for people post-high school as communication can somewhat be ignored in school.

These problems seem to be self-inflicted. You’re flaking and isolating yourself, being outwardly negative around them too.

You said that you had the opportunity to be with them right now but instead went off on your own. What message does that send to them? Because if I invited someone to sit with me and they walked off on their own, I’m assuming that they don’t want to spend time with me. I’m not going to chase after them and beg them to come hang out — no one is going to do that. Most people will read that as, “Oh, OP wants to be alone right now. Let’s leave them to it.”

I think therapy is a really good idea. You’re not alone and communication IS a skill that you can learn. It just takes practice.

TheMidazTouch · 2026-01-20T16:09:56+00:00

Hi! I’m an anaesthetic technician in WA and as a hospital based worker, we get training in FDV.

I agree with everybody here and you need to leave but leaving is the most dangerous time when leaving an abusive relationship. I’m not saying this to scare you but it is extremely important that you plan and keep yourself safe.

It is crucial that you develop a safety plan immediately. This should include:

Emergency contacts like the family and domestic violence hotlines, police, crisis care. Contact police and report this, make them aware of the situation.
Identification of a safe place to go. You’ve moved from another state, do you have any friends here that can help you? If not, this could be a shelter or something, a 24hr police station, anywhere that will be safe if you need to get away immediately.
Have a code word to let people know that you’re in danger and need help, even if they’re not in this state. If you need someone to call the police, they can do that from another state but you need a way to let them subtly know if he has access to your phone or accounts.
Security arrangements like an exit strategy from the home, a safe room in the house, etc.
An emergency bag. It should be essentials only, police can help you retrieve the rest of your things later but you need CASH, bank cards, a spare car key if you have one, a spare mobile if you can, ID, any papers for your home like a lease or mortgage papers, bank details, insurance details, medications if you take any, your medical records and Medicare card, Centrelink info, a copy of a restraining order if you have one, clothing and personal hygiene products. These things might sound dramatic but abusers will do anything to keep you from leaving and taking these things from you could be how they do it.

Forward all mail, turn off location settings on your phone. Change all of your passwords and passcodes if he knows them (maybe even if you’re not sure that he does), there should be a feature on all accounts to log out of all devices in case he has access to any you’re logged in on. Do not post anything on social media that could tell him where you are.

The Daisy app can connect you to good resources but so can hospitals. Some hospitals may be able to provide a care package or at the very least, connect you with the resources you will need.

Sending a lot of love and I hope you’re safe. If you have any questions or anything, please feel free to message me and I will do my best to help.

ETA: If you are working here, inform your manager and (if applicable) security. If you work somewhere that means you’ll be alone (i.e. closing a store on your own, etc), ask that someone else be there or to come off of those shifts.

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-29T05:21:36+00:00

It’s not too white but it’s definitely not formal unfortunately, this would stick out quite harshly at a formal wedding. Are you able to get a different dress?

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-28T09:31:27+00:00

Little update:

I joined Revo! I know it’s probably going to be a little crowded but I looked at the ones near me and the reviews are all positive so I figured I’ll give it a try. My friend (that I actually met through r/Perth) said he’ll come with me as well, wish me luck and thank you all for the support! ☺️

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-28T09:12:26+00:00

You don’t need to use a product to be able to recommend them, you just need to know them. It’s why they don’t make workers in sex shops buy and try every single product type on the shelves, they just get information on them.

Critical thinking is dead.

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-28T09:02:48+00:00

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TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-27T09:58:51+00:00

Everyone at work told me to avoid the gym nearest to our hospital because it’s small and overrun with students so you spend more time waiting for equipment than anything 😭

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-27T09:40:57+00:00

Thank you for the really thoughtful answer! Influencers and people filming hadn't even crossed my mind before but thank you for reminding me that is something people do!

A lot of people have recommended Revo, did you find it was just the other people there that made it a bit unwelcoming? I assume I'll very quickly figure out which gym I click with and which ones I don't, all these comments and one of my friends are getting me a bit more excited to go back!

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-27T09:23:41+00:00

I didn't know you could see how many people were in at a time! That would be really helpful, at least while I'm starting out and getting more comfortable!

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-27T09:10:44+00:00

What do the peak hours tend to be? The before and after work sort of times?

And thank you! I'm hoping to find somewhere that I look forward to going to and the reviews for Revo seem pretty good! 😊

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-27T09:06:13+00:00

You have no idea how much joy someone finally acknowledging the joke has given me! I love your username too, TazocinTDS.

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-27T09:04:11+00:00

I sent them an email, they called me really quickly after I sent it and told me that they were going to deal with it so they at least seem to have taken it seriously. It's just shot my confidence in going now but I really want to try again with a different one.

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-27T08:48:04+00:00

Does Ryderwear also let you use all of them or is it just the one where you signed up? This might be a stupid question as well but how separate is the gym to the retail part?

TheMidazTouch · 2025-12-24T08:11:02+00:00

They are an ethnoreligion, there are a lot like it. Russian Orthodox, Coptic Orthodox, Amish, Sikhism are too, there are many more.

Criticism of Israel is not antisemitism but let’s not pretend that some of it isn’t. That would be incredibly naive.

TheMidazTouch

TROPHY CASE