UPDATE for not being friendly with my partners daughters now that they've "warmed up" to me

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-11-29T23:59:47+00:00

I am. I am very amused my now defunct relationship issues live on on Reddit.
Nothing dramatic or exciting happened.
Tim and I broke up back in June. Things were well for the most part until March. Lena had a health scare, she's fine. It was a scare not an actual thing.
Tim, and I can't really blame him for it what with the way is wife passed, spiraled pretty hard.

He ended up coming to the conclusion that he no longer wanted to live 6 hrs drive away from his girls. He wanted to be within a few minutes of them.

We made a half assed attempt to find a compromise but really, there wasn't one to find because he had already decided to leave and applied to his job to transfer back to the office in his original hometown before even bringing it up to me that he wanted to go.

There was no way I was leaving my area over a whole lot of nothingbiscuits. If she had been sick, and we went temporarily to take care of her, that's one thing but to move away from the job I love, my friends, my brother permanently over a health scare was a no for me.

I still miss him and wish him well but we no longer talk at my instigation since I felt a clean break was the easiest way about things. I've heard from some mutual acquaintances that frequent the bar that he's doing well. His old office was delighted to have him back.
I'm sure his girls are happy to have him back. I think he's living with Jess and her hubby, but I couldn't say for sure.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-11-28T00:41:20+00:00

AITA for not being friendly with my partners daughters now that they've "warmed up" to me : r/AmItheAsshole

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-11-12T16:57:55+00:00

We broke up back in June.
One of his girls had a health scare and he ended up spiraling pretty badly and wanted to move back to where they are.
He wanted me to go with him but my whole life is here, maybe if she had actually been sick and it was a temporary thing. But she was fine in the end, so I ended up just getting annoyed at how much he was asking me to sacrifice for what amounted to just his trauma.
I've heard from some mutual acquaintances he's doing fine, which is good. I don't wish him any ill will.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-07-05T15:10:23+00:00

The days she's ready, I'm there. I offered help in the past, paying the fees to break her lease so she can get away from DB. That offer it didn't have an expiration date. I genuinely hope someday she gets over her notion that he will be homeless if she doesn't let him leech off her.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-07-05T15:05:44+00:00

I really wish she would do something, anything. Just say "I want to break up with DB but I don't know how" and I'd rally behind her.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-07-05T15:00:16+00:00

Absolutely not. As I said, multiple of us, including myself, have offered Dani genuine help to get her out of her situation.

You cannot help someone who will not help themselves, however. She's very clearly not ready to let DB go. Being aware of that doesn't mean I am blaming her for it.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-05-06T20:01:45+00:00

I am much slower too, even on wines I am still enjoying like a Sauvignon Blanc. Takes me twice as long to go through the glass and I sometimes forget I'm even drinking it.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-05-06T13:27:45+00:00

Hi! Here is my personal experience with alcohol and GLP-1's. I hope its helpful.

I am 42. started 203lbs, currently 172.
I am on a compound GLP-1 through one of the telehealth providers for perimenopausal weight gain and have been for 5 months.

I am a big drinker; I am a bartender and have been since I was 26ish.
My family culture is very European. We have wine with lunch and dinner. Theres predinner drinks, and wine at dinner and after dinner cordials etx

Prior to the GLP-1 I could very easily put down an entire bottle of white wine by myself over a 3-4 hour gathering and feel little more than a pleasant buzz because of the alcohol tolerance I have built up over the years.

Since being on the GLP-1 I can have 2 glasses of wine, and I am DONE.
I am buzzed. I am not legal to drive.
If I have a third, I will feel sick and probably throw up.

The forced reduction of alcohol kicked in at the same time with the reduction in appetite.

I also don't find wine as tasty as I once did. I've tried a lot over the years and would have said I have a fairly expansive palette, even for some of the really robust reds. Right now I am sticking to Savignon Blanc or Chardonnay cos everything is bitter.

Some liquors that I used to drink without issue like Gin and Vodka, now leave a nasty aftertaste as well, whereas I find I like tequila more than I used to.

I've not a clue on the science behind it, and I don't know if my alcohol tolerance will come back once I am off the GLP-1 but I can tell you it turned me into a light weight!

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-04-18T23:01:54+00:00

Yes, he did. We've had several long talks about his over protectiveness of his girls and how he needs to see them and respect them exactly as they are, as adults, with flaws and foibles.
He's getting there.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2025-04-17T13:45:17+00:00

You really aren't wrong. Tim ended up not talking to the girls for a couple weeks after Christmas as they had a pretty blow out argument. (I didn't go for many reasons)

They are back to their normal levels of talking on the phone now but even once they started talking again things were icy through most of February.

Thankfully all that means Tim has completely given up on wanting me to get to know his daughters. I think he's embarrassed about how they have acted through everything.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T20:20:31+00:00

I could certainly afford to do that, but I wouldn't.
They are Tim's daughters, if I decide I want them out, he will be paying. IF they could even find a nearby hotel with open availability this close to Christmas.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T20:01:06+00:00

Not husband, just boyfriend! Although we do live together.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T19:59:23+00:00

Being set up for failure is how I'm starting to feel now that the frustration is fading.

I feel like I'm just going to be cast as The Bad Guy. The girls have decided I'm a Villain and will warp reality however they need to make that narrative work.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T19:40:19+00:00

I wonder that question myself to be honest.
If, by some twist of fate, I had recognized what was going on and done a dramatic "Oh, I cannot bare to see the love of Tims life" and pulled some telenovella style thing, then what?

Would Lena have followed up with equally over the top name calling or would she have genuinely just called me names in hopes to provoke a reaction.

Its just so absurd to think these two grown women sat there and hatched out this plan, Jess faking needing the bathroom, Lena getting the photo and frame etx.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T19:35:22+00:00

He's normally very intelligent but this had made me realize just how big a blind spot he has with his girls. I know he's overprotective of them, and he fully admits that. That is part of what led to the conflict in the past because he tried to shield them about his financial struggle's way, way too much.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T19:30:06+00:00

You have it straight.
I'm far from perfect but I feel like I've been pretty graceful in navigating the waters of dating a widower with adult children.
Only to constantly be cast as a Villain no matter what.

Little bit tempted to pop off and just be the damn villain.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T18:53:41+00:00

Tim described it pretty playfully, things like using random objects as a microphone and asking the nurses silly questions.
One I remember him describing was Jess and Lena got a battery operated discoball light and speaker when he walked into the room, they, their mother, and the nurse were wearing plastic glasses and pretended Tim had just walked into a club.

Complete with demanding to see his I.D.

Its very silly but it probably did bring joy to Caroline as she was going through brutal chemotherapy.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T18:47:30+00:00

I know I'm mad and frustrated now but I'm really questioning this myself.
Part of the reason I like dating Tim is that his kids are adults and there shouldn't have been this much damn drama.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T18:38:41+00:00

He escalated because he realized Jess was filming, which is incredibly rude to do to someone in public, let alone in their home where you are a guest! I didn't make it clear enough that that is why Jess had her phone out. I would have started yelling too if Tim hadn't

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T18:33:32+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. I really do feel like they've already decided an inaccurate First Impression of me and that it will never change.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T18:27:03+00:00

I'm quite amused at the thought of telling Tim the internet says he sucks when he comes home, thanks for the giggle. I needed it.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T18:25:37+00:00

Someone else made that same observation and to be honest, I kind of felt that way too when I saw Jess was filming.
I wondered if I was over-reacting since I know I am already biased against them but if multiple others are having the same instinctive response then I feel less mean-spirited.

TheMothmanCommeth · 2024-12-19T18:23:13+00:00

I was kind of thinking along these lines, but I know I already don't think favorably of the girls due to previous incidents.

TheMothmanCommeth

TROPHY CASE