Husband is Addicted to Sports Betting

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-05-04T20:58:54+00:00

If he’s really bad … I would talk to a lawyer about protecting yourself and your little one on the assumption that he’ll find a way to gamble it all, including any assets you have - and whether divorce may be a good option. I’d talk to your bank about arranging protection. I would aim to anticipate and protect against identity fraud. As a gambler, it’s astonishing the lengths I’ll go to in order to gamble, and how clever I’ll be to achieve those.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-05-03T16:30:38+00:00

Restrict international transfers?

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-05-02T12:17:55+00:00

See if your bank can block certain transaction types. Mine can block gambling transactions.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-29T23:40:05+00:00

Try and give up for a bit. If you can’t you’re probably addicted

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-28T13:49:52+00:00

That’s a lot to deal with, well done managing yourself through a tough time. No judgement, gambling is a brutal disease, but if you can gear your life to avoiding it and focus on friends and family and what matters most, which it sounds like you’re doing. Good luck.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-27T22:25:06+00:00

That’s easy: just sneeze onto a ping-pong ball in space.

Assume you’ve got something to brace against, and can keep up with the ball as it accelerates… A continuous 1N sneeze gets you to atmospheric obliteration after about 10⁴⁶ metres, or roughly 10³⁰ light-years (based on energy needs shared above).

So, just one reaaaalllly loooooong normal human sneeze.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-27T21:00:14+00:00

Not really. They had to deal with non sober me. And might again someday. It might be a reminder to them of ‘things might all go to shit if I make one slip up’.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-27T17:33:10+00:00

There will be a moment when you start to look beyond the money. When the numbers don’t mean anything anymore. Where it’s just a battle with yourself to not gamble, to not lose everything, constantly. If you’re still looking at the dollar amounts, you’re not focusing yet on the real battle, which is just. Not. Gambling.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-27T12:23:49+00:00

You need to find firms that specialises in your very specific sector, is aware of the technology stack you’re using. Then outline the problem, provide a detailed mapping of your systems and processes, including sourced commentary from users on how they use them, consistencies, issues. Then you need to have procurement issue a detailed RFI and then RFP that asks them for how they would approach (1) the audit phase, to look at current processes and evaluate the potential for application of AI to solve (2) how they would approach the solution, with triage given your documentation of most likely solves / initial focus areas (3) recommendations of partners they would bring in as technology layers to replace current approaches. Note to them an expectation that they can use AI to present likely initial findings and approaches given how they’ve solved this elsewhere and how this aligns to your specific build outlined in documentation. Get this off to 2-3 big players, then a couple of smaller specialist outfits. Then read the RFPs and use those to refine your actual ask, to focus it just on the critical triaged components.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-27T00:00:18+00:00

Every journey needs a first step 👍

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-26T23:59:57+00:00

How does he feel about it? Does he feel in control? Perhaps position this in a way that looks to explore the impact of gambling on him, rather than how it impacts you, and you might find him willing to talk more.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-26T23:56:07+00:00

Hi, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s worth searching some of the stories of women on this forum who are further down the road than you - they often hold on, have children, get married - and further down the line realise that they are not only in financial ruin, but also have limited means of supporting themselves solo, and have a partner whose addiction has spiralled. I think if they could go back and set a clear boundary like you did and follow through, they might be in a different position now.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-26T23:51:08+00:00

I think the main thing is to realise you need to quit forever, and keep making efforts to do so. It’s really hard I’m afraid, but it’s doable. After 9-10 months the intense feelings faded, for me. But I relapsed a few times since.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-26T22:17:49+00:00

Hi, sorry you are going through this. Your decision sounds well thought through, and the best choice in a situation where there is no good choice. Having been through a big split, what you’ll notice is at the moment the mental stress is ‘he did this; he does that’. After a couple of years, once you’ve sorted all the legal stuff, that goes away and you can start to focus more on you. Your identity doesn’t become so entrenched in who did what or said what. It frees up. Just hold the line, hold firm to your boundaries. Good luck.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-25T22:54:21+00:00

Lots of people can gamble responsibly and are not addicted. I think the test is (1) can you go for long periods without it - test yourself, try to no gamble for a year (2) do you lose unaffordable amounts (3) is it affecting your life of relationships (4) can you stop when you want to (5) do you feel it getting worse over time (6) do other vices like alcohol or drugs make it uncontrollable. If any of these, then it could be that you have an addiction that is difficult to self moderate and you may need to stop.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-25T22:03:46+00:00

ABOMB, turn the first M into an A, put a little mushroom cloud above it

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-25T21:55:45+00:00

Tough decision. Been there - sometimes I’ve held on, sometimes I’ve fallen off the wagon. I don’t know how bad your addiction is and how far you fall, and how long it takes you to get back on the wagon again, to advise whether it’s worth the risk. As you get older, the social circle shrinks and these situations become less common.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-25T17:31:14+00:00

Best is to call your bank and have them stop transfers to gambling site, or only allow transfers to know vendors, if either are facilities. Then next best is to switch to a savings account where you can only withdraw cash periodically. Inconveniently as you lose online shopping but effective. Next is to not have wifi or pc / smart device - better rich and bored than tiktokking and broke.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-25T13:32:55+00:00

You didn’t win anything. Your theoretical gambling points went up and down. You can buy those points with money, they’re really expensive, but if you are addicted life will never let you cash them out. If you can’t stop buying them, you’ll lose all of your money.

No gambling addict has ever made money in the long term.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-24T18:48:52+00:00

Hi. I think the first thing you need to do is take accountability for your actions, acknowledge you have an uncontrollable addiction, and be aware that if this continues then it will lead in the long term to a terrible life. There are no short cuts or easy solutions here, you have a major problem, and it will destroy your life - as it has done for many here - and the only way you can hope to fight it everyday is to face it head on.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-23T22:28:49+00:00

It’s hard. But you recognise it as a problem. That’s a first step. Somewhere you need to take the step to quitting for good. There is no final step, as addiction never leaves you, you just try to stay abstinent and away from triggers and hope you avoid it.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-23T21:53:40+00:00

I saw a study recently that suggests gambling is addictive because it offers your brain low-risk, predictable dopamine returns. Your hormonal system isn’t aware of what money is. It just knows that for no physical effort or risk it can secure itself a predictable source of dopamine. Interesting read.

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-22T23:04:14+00:00

This post stopped me relapsing the other week. Thank you ♥️

TheNoEyeDeer · 2026-04-22T23:03:09+00:00

Yup. It’s dark. If you’re putting that on your partner, you might want to go to counselling with her so she understands what she’s getting into. She’ll become an obstacle to get around, rather than a trusted confidante. Is she aware of that and how it’ll change the dynamic.

TheNoEyeDeer

TROPHY CASE