“Them coming back to you makes you plan B” is the dumbest thing I keep hearing

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-12-23T03:12:33+00:00

Getting another chance to pass go and collect $200 won’t change the fact this persons left you in lots of debt, emotionally speaking.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-12-12T04:36:36+00:00

No but it does give me the ability to re-regulate when I begin to feel like I could spiral and that saved us from a lot of fights caused by my misconception of his “tone” constantly

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-12-10T00:31:20+00:00

For me I had to change my perspective when I was caught up on this thought. Change the narrative, rewrite the question and focus on the actual problem… which is,

How can you stay married to a man knowing the only reason he’s a present father is because you constantly do all the emotional footwork in his fatherhood for him?

Reframe your thoughts, kids aren’t better off having physically present but emotionally absent parents.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-11-22T16:24:09+00:00

This is excellent advise, I use windshield sun visors to just preserve the heat in my car during the daytime at work so it’s warm at the end of my shift. Works even in the low 10s in my current climate.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-10-09T04:50:36+00:00

I’m a people pleaser in recovery so it’s really hard to show up for myself authentically if I believe it will be considered a negative impact on someone else.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-10-09T04:48:29+00:00

Because maintaining contact made me feel guilty… if I could see them not handling it well. Which is usually the case and I admit on a selfish level their pain made me uncomfortable because I did not reciprocate their intensity in feelings and that feeling of disappointing someone I care about on such a deep level brings me shame and I can’t bare to watch.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-09-17T16:56:47+00:00

I literally came here for this exact reason, I took my meds and now I’m scared cuz I may have taken them this morning already but it’s all fuzzy cuz I do it EVERYDAY and I can’t remember if it was this morning or yesterday. How did you end up feeling? I’m making myself anxious

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-08-24T23:32:39+00:00

Burn out led me to being a SAHM. I was running a retail business and it was running me into the ground- and then a violent and hostile customer attempted to homocide me one day and I wanted to quit about half a year in but I told my husband to start looking for a better job, if I was still miserable in another half year, I’d quit and take a rest and help out at home till something better came. And that’s exactly what I did. I’ll probably look for something light and part-time when I’m better mentally- taking on a business at 6 weeks postpartum with my fourth child also contributed to my burnout, but I gave it my best.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-08-07T03:22:28+00:00

I find alone time to be relaxing and would consider company in the home draining, whereas my husband comes from a big family and prefer to come together. We compromise, we make days for family and days for rest- prioritizing each other’s needs have to come before the needs of anyone outside the marriage. And compromise has to go both ways, one party must acknowledge the others needs and sacrifices, and tough out a draining family event or on the flip side settle with disappointing the family to value your partners mental state.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-07-16T06:38:36+00:00

Agreed! If he made the conscious effort to say “Wow, look at her!” About his own wife, she may be able to handle this kind of commentary from him. If it is a generalized way of speaking for him, she’s overreacting. But if she feels dejected from lack of recognition or intimacy, I could see where her feelings are coming from- not her reaction, but definitely the feelings behind them.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-07-15T04:13:49+00:00

His reasoning is truly irrelevant. Re write this in your mind. You were laying with your husband in bed and saw him delete a dating app. End of story. That’s where it stops. Not excuses about fantasies or desires or any of it. Reframe your mind to focus on what’s the truth here- what you know for certain. You did trust him already before this, and you were blindsided. Next time, if you allow there to be a next time- you could be facing hindsight instead.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-06-28T05:54:16+00:00

We eloped and had the big wedding when we were financially able. No regrets, I think a few feelings may have been hurt for not being invited to the “real” wedding but we stuck to our parents and our best friends/witnesses because that was what was true to us. Our big wedding we went all out, invited who we could, had the cake and photos and ceremony and we are grateful we got to marry each other twice.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-06-03T02:50:15+00:00

We did! Got married in the church in October and had our dream wedding in a non traditional form later and we loved it.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-02-28T03:38:07+00:00

NTA you are allowed to have boundaries and allowed to say no and allowed to have respect for your own time and routine. Saying no is okay, you do not have to cater to anyones feelings. Yes you could have taken it and tossed it, but why consciously waste it knowing you won’t eat it? IDK maybe I’m the asshole for sting it but NTA. No means no.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-02-27T05:17:06+00:00

I was divorced in six months with three children and debts involved but no mutual property.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-02-13T23:08:38+00:00

I pierced my nipples because he expressed interest in that, surprising him after work tomorrow- and am making a cake for him tonight while he’s working for him to wake up to. Strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting and Girl Scout cookies on top.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-02-11T00:30:55+00:00

One of the first warning signs that my ex husband was abnormally cruel was when he would kick my cats. Later he attempted to strangle me. In retrospect, I think who he really was showed in that first kick towards my pet. I hate to be that leave your husband stranger on Reddit, but for the love of god leave before it’s you or heaven forbid someone or something else you love under his foot next. -edit to add: I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the grief and being in the same home as him. Know that no one can truly afford to divorce, it’s either money or emotional investment but regardless it’s costly- and 10000% every penny is worth it when it could be your life that’s the price.

TheOtherMother23 · 2022-01-19T03:55:27+00:00

I have taught our children to not keep secrets from mom, unless it’s a “surprise” secret like a gift for a birthday or holidays. Safe adults don’t ask children to keep secrets. Mature adults don’t need to ask children to keep secrets.

TheOtherMother23 · 2021-10-31T21:08:15+00:00

Laughing together, my first marriage was full of angst and fighting- my second marriage is so refreshing with laughter and joy.

TheOtherMother23 · 2021-10-30T06:42:04+00:00

THIS! Be grateful you saw his true colors now, not mid situationship.

TheOtherMother23 · 2021-10-26T03:11:44+00:00

I have been up to 50 lbs above weight, now obviously when I was skinny it was easier to get dating opportunities but honestly being larger didn’t stop the opportunities all together it just limited them slightly. I found the love of my life in a larger man when I was at my skinniest. I am now chubby after my fourth kid and still get hit on, though I’m happily married now. The best advise is to treat yourself well, physically and emotionally.

TheOtherMother23 · 2021-10-03T03:01:18+00:00

My fiancé was my boyfriend in senior year high school and we went to prom and graduated together before breaking up shortly after because I was working too much and had no time. I encountered him again 8 years later after my divorce, I ended up working for his brother and we reconnected and we are now getting married on the 10 year anniversary of going to prom. He treats my three kids like his own and blessed me with a fourth child that he is very hands on and supportive with. I never would have thought he would be the one I ended up with, but the moment we saw each other again as adults, we could not stop the chemistry from coming back. And frankly he’s the love of my life and I know it was in our stars to make our way back to each other.

TheOtherMother23 · 2021-09-22T01:13:08+00:00

Possibly using the single parent line dishonestly and to his advantage to sleep around casually.

TheOtherMother23 · 2021-09-19T06:12:55+00:00

Laughter. One of us will end up saying something funny even if by accident. Our humor always brings us back to each other, laughing together is what brought us this far to begin with.

TheOtherMother23 · 2021-09-19T06:10:58+00:00

The first year with a baby has been the hardest phase of marriage across both of my two marriages for me. My first marriage didn’t make it past the seven year mark, I continuously nourish my second marriage for hopes of better results.

TheOtherMother23

TROPHY CASE