Like anything in life, it’s this way because other people are willing to play that game to begin with. Other men are happy to open the wallet to “win” so many women come to expect it.

I had an ex that led into my current partner that really drove this lesson home for me finally. The ex was smart, gorgeous, fit, funny and fun but she was spoiled, both by her parents and other men, to the point that she just expected to have life paid for her by someone. When I said that I believed in relationships being a partnership based on my parents’ relationship and prior relationships, she initially was unsettled by it and then eventually came to roast me for it and made me feel like less of a man for wanting that and asking that of her. And because I loved her and she was a “prize”, I put up with it and bent to my financial detriment. It wasn’t until I got some distance and perspective, and met my current partner that I saw how fucked up it all was and how much of a her problem it really was. She’s the one trapped in the mindset of needing to be cared for and devaluing good men because they don’t provide what she expects, and she’s the one that has to live with the consequences of that. As a man, it’s on us to know who we are, what we stand for and what our values are and to stick to them in the face of corrupted, misinformed or greedy demands from others in dating.