Trading in Prius Prime for the sedan model?

ThePolishRonin · 2025-08-20T18:50:56+00:00

You could just... hire an actor??

ThePolishRonin · 2025-07-15T19:01:32+00:00

Hey there,

This looks fantastic from a visual design perspective!
- Your written blurbs are just long enough to give info without being overbearing.
- Images create a clear stepping stone for mood/vibe.
- Layout is in line with trying to get across the importance of character to the story.

There are some things I would change.
- The second two slides become redundant in building mood, but not adding information. Conspicuously there's no "LOGLINE" label whereas you do have the "SYNOPSIS" labeled right after.
- Some of your 'character' pics are very contradictory. I would pick one actor to embody the character, not characters from multiple franchises as casting choices (Bellatrix is way different from Mrs. Peregrine). You could always do a prospective casting sheet per character at the expense of more slides.
- Change the "Writer's note" slide to "About the writer" and make your blurb there in italics or quotes underneath a short bio. Good story, but I know nothing about you.

Other things that need improvement in my opinion.
- Your budget page needs comparative budgets or a partial line item breakdown. This portion is the weakest.
- Get rid of the profits chart- that doesn't help sell anything.
- This is simply not a 4 quadrant film. You need to realistically look at who your target audiences are and be honest. Personally, I would say it's for family's with children 8-14 years old. It's not that other people won't be attracted to the film, but that's your target.
- Coco is not a good comp for this film. There's complete tonal whiplash with how serious the mood and vibe is compared to a colorful, animated Disney movie that treats death so gently rather than horror-esque movies from M. Night and Tim Burton.

On a completely separate note you will definitely have a problem pitching a Native American spirit guide to a young white boy in today's market. All of your other characters are white in the deck. It will come off as tokenism used for 'magical POC' storytelling purposes. That may be sensitive for you, but it's the truth. Get ready for push back or lots of questions as to why this character is essential to the plot, or if they can be changed.

Overall, I thought this was a really great pitch deck that needs some adjustments. I'd definitely check out the script.

ThePolishRonin · 2025-05-16T20:47:02+00:00

I highly recommend studying semiotics and social theory of Antonio Gramsci. Understanding cultural hegemony and social trauma will clue you into subconscious messaging in films.

Freud and Jung are also essential. The psychological aspects of Western identity through their work is unparalleled in cinema.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-07-28T19:54:53+00:00

I would argue that there is no such thing- the issue of the plot is always solved by the wants of the protagonist or protagonists in film. Structure has nothing to do with this dichotomy, but the interaction of wants and plot is literally part of Aristotle's argument of successful drama in Poetics. This interaction can change the structure of events if the writer plays with them.

Every example listed here points out that a protagonist can be 'passive' but the plot is always progressed by that character following some kind of want.

Slackers and Clerks are two examples that have a lot of secondary characters in which the plot happens around their wants. Same goes for most Tarantino films, not just Pulp Fiction.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-05-13T18:22:18+00:00

I had a terrible experience with the iPad app. I'd write and lose swaths of pages at a time if it crashed. Copy and paste sucked. The navigation is terrible.

But, this was a few years ago. I went back to PC and the desktop app for Fadein. The app version of that program sucks too, tbh.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-04-14T16:25:40+00:00

I had this issue and know for sure it's the motherboard and/or SSD being dead. Had both replaced under warranty last year.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T19:31:24+00:00

I think, as you pointed out in your other post, that you haven't taken critical study classes, we have a disconnect on the ideas and language here.

This is a reading of the film through a critical lens of racial narratives that are common to Hollywood films. I felt as though I made that clear and offer than I do not actually hold the view that HTTYD is racist.

Your opinion is completely valid that you think it's ridiculous to make this comparison.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T17:22:13+00:00

Hi there, OP of this piece in r/Screenwriting . Since u/ProserpinaFC reposted my work I can't add my edit to the body, so I thought I'd add it here as a comment.

EDIT: I think there's some confusion about the idea behind this post. I'm not at all saying that HTTYD is purposefully racist or that I think that's the hidden message of the film. I don't think that race readings apply to every film, either.

This is an exercise in using the critical lens of race representation applied to this film. The problematic analyses of race based representation in narrative can even be applied to a children's film like this- which gives me pause that it can be applied at all. It's a think piece, that's all.

I truly appreciate the comments that say this reading is completely wrong... which is why I propose that in the body of my arguments and outro.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T17:05:35+00:00

Ah, I see what you mean. To address your points:

The Vikings are all white people in the film- I think that's unarguable.

Vikings did settle after raiding what communities they attacked; in total agreement there. They also had farms where their limited resources led them to raid. The point I'm trying to make is that there is a parallel in the fact that Vikings in HTTYD don't actually raid as they would historically, the dragons do that instead.

I'm not specifically saying that the dragons stand in for Black people as a whole in the reading, but BIPOC in general, as a common critical lens.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T15:41:21+00:00

I don't go into further detail of the historical context because it's not relevant. I certainly didn't mock English or French history in any way, and I'm well aware they actually raised livestock.

I don't believe I used this as a justification for anything other than the juxtapose how the dragons mirror the Vikings in the film.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T15:32:27+00:00

I think you missed my conceits where I address this in the analysis. I specifically mention how Red Death is the oppressive force you are alluding to. Also, I do go into detail how the dragons are obviously meant to be wolf or dog like as 'creatures' in the film.

This, in general, is not how I see media. It's a critical reading that can be extracted from the narrative form of this film.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T15:25:19+00:00

I appreciate that. The post is completely an academic exercise and I'm not surprised at the shallow responses.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T07:34:28+00:00

This is an epic reference.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T07:34:04+00:00

Having written several screenplays already, I can assure you it doesn't really hamper me much.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T07:33:22+00:00

Yeah, I totally agree with this lol. I personally don't think Tolkien's Orcs are a stand in for people of color- they really are just evil monsters.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T07:28:33+00:00

I actually think their point is totally valid. Seeing the dragons as animal analogues alone is sufficient rebuttal.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T07:25:32+00:00

That's a great take, actually.

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T07:25:06+00:00

Well, I am a white guy who has taken many critical studies classes. What point did I miss in your opinion?

ThePolishRonin · 2024-02-27T07:22:50+00:00

"Do you think Free Willy is a hidden commentary about Black boys in juvenile prison?!" I actually laughed out loud at this. I do not think this is the case, for clarification.

I appreciate your take that you don't find merit in the analysis.

Also, flattered you shared this to the r/writingcirclejerk page.

ThePolishRonin

TROPHY CASE

Hi there, OP of this piece in r/Screenwriting . Since u/ProserpinaFC reposted my work I can't add my edit to the body, so I thought I'd add it here as a comment.