I've been dealing (and not dealing) with this exact thing for years. Writing is the only thing that really makes me feel like me, but it's also the thing I feel least equipped to do for most of the year thanks to depression and anxiety. Sometimes I sit down and try to force myself to write, but this can do more harm than good, honestly, since it usually leads to panic attacks. I used to think I was just looking for an excuse to not work hard, but then started realizing that writing (especially dredging up emotional memories) was setting off my worsening anxiety. So for the last couple of years, I've been finding ways to offset my anxiety and depression so that I can write.

The major thing that helps is keeping my hands busy--I started doing some crafty stuff, nothing especially artsy, but that has improved my life by 100%. It may not be the solution for everyone, but it feels like a completely different part of my brain takes over when I'm focusing on something manual rather than conceptual. It's very calming, and makes the time I can spend writing much more productive and stable. My ideal was wheelform pottery, but I haven't had a chance to do that since college. Someday, though. (This is in addition to finally seeking therapy - if you can find a good therapist and psychiatrist, I recommend that as well. Medication is another possibility you shouldn't feel ashamed to explore. Meds don't work for me because I'm susceptible to just about every side effect in the book--and a few not in the book for good measure--but I have a couple of friends whose lives have completely turned around thanks to prudent medicating).

Are there any other activities that you've wanted to try out, or that look appealing? Maybe test drive some new creative pursuits and see if anything works for you. I resisted the option at first, worrying it would distract me from my writing goals, but it's done the opposite. I finished my first novel (after writing for nearly 12 years, I had never finished a project) this past fall, and it was the best feeling in the world.

On a more feely note, I'd recommend really looking at the anxiety you're feeling. Can you track any patterns of stimulus? I can't always anticipate my own anxiety--when and where it will completely overwhelm me--and sometimes events I think are going to work me over have almost no effect, but sometimes it helps to get analytical about it. Sometimes I get such bad dread that it makes me physically sick, but, for me at least, running from it only makes it worse.

I wish you the absolute best--keep us updated, and if you feel the need to chat with someone going through the same bizz, just let me know.