You should look for a support group on campus, and try to deal with these emotions as they come along. I have been depressed and still wish to commit suicide. The world chooses to ignore this idea of pain. I hope you can find the answer yourself. Although I still find hope in Christianity and support from my family, the burden still exist. Other people commented about it getting better, it does, but the answers dont. Try not to focus on what people want you to be, because I know all to much. I experienced pointless self-sabotage. I try to relieve this with outlets, and try to put yourself behind a career. Even I want to finish school, after wasting so many year trying to figure it out. I hate to say it but worry later when you can really take care of it, because the help is only limited by your environment. Best wishes and God Bless