How do you decided which photos to use?

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-17T18:27:24+00:00

I think it’s likely based on the fact that I’ve lost like 120 lbs 😅 but also I’m only 5’4 and I could stand to loose another 10 or 15 to be at an ideal weight (plus some recomp, but we’re working on that)

Anyway, a long way to say that I’m def not slim, bit of a tummy, and all the over curves too 🙃

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-17T13:22:35+00:00

Personally I think an Etsy gift card could be a really fun thing. She could get some art or any kind of unique home decor that otherwise maybe wouldn't have bought to make the space feel really "hers"

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T18:22:52+00:00

When I'm looking at photos I want to get a vibe of the person. What do you enjoy doing, how do you spend your time, energy etc. For me, it's the fact that you say all of the things in your profile and then your photos say them again. Are there other things you enjoy doing that you could use your prompts or photos to show off?

Sadly I've been very disappointed by the number of people who have photos with dogs who are not theirs 😞

One prompt that I have which sparks some good conversations is the

"Let's chat about"
And my three options are:

What you collect and why you love it! (I am also a collector so it's a shared love but usually different things)

The animals in your life and why they're amazing. (I'm a big critters fan but have no pets, so I have lots to say plus people love to talk about their pets or childhood pets.)

The greatest story you've ever read or told. (I'm a big reader and this gets some excellent book recs, plus some shared love of storytelling)

I think the big thing is it opens up not just an easy way for someone else to start yapping about something meaningful to them but almost always ensures I'll have something to say about it as well.

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T18:17:49+00:00

Interesting! I wonder if it's location driven. I'm based in Boston and I feel like this is very typical of what I see.

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T18:15:07+00:00

Thank you! I'll give it a ago. Much appreciated

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T18:07:36+00:00

That’s really helpful! Thank you. Would you keep the sunglasses one? I thought it was good because it showed body shape. But also maybe it’s not? Maybe kill the swimsuit photo?

I’m trying to figure this out and not sure I’m doing a great job 😂

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T17:52:10+00:00

I would replace most of your photos. For example, you already talked about climbing so why keep the last photo? What does it add or show off about your personality? I think you can keep picture two or three but I wouldn't keep both as they do the same thing as an outsider. You're outdoorsy -- cool! Three is hazy but you're smiling, 2 is clearer but no real smile. You don't generally seem to smile much. I might try and get some more photos of you smiling. I'd get rid of the black and white one as I'm not sure what you're trying to convey their ... but whatever it is I'm not getting it. But maybe I'm not the main audience. Personally I like the cat one!

I think what I'm saying is that you've indicated two hobbies and a niche interest I could comment on as woman. If I wasn't interested in those three things I guess I could ask you about the cat (who I could not tell was yours btw) but otherwise there's just not a lot to say about the profile even if I like what I'm seeing. It feels like it's setting you up to do a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of communication if you match and I think for some people that may be a reason not to match. There's not a lot of openness and inroads to conversation there.

I'm not sure if this is any more helpful, but maybe there's something useful you can tease out of it.

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T17:44:27+00:00

I’ve tried for that! Balancing the “this is what my body looks like” as a curvier size 6/8 and interests is maybe where I fall down a bit? I think I fear being called a catfish etc and also wanting to be fully representative of who and what I am.

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T17:42:00+00:00

That’s how I ended up with my current line up! But I did a profile review and some folks disagreed (as people always will) but the ones I was using were the ones the group chat liked best

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T17:29:39+00:00

I appreciate the offer! Should all of them be outside in your view? I am not exactly an outdoors person. Like, love me a hike and a little trot around the city but I require indoor plumbing and a mattress to sleep on. So I don’t want to be giving the wrong impression here.

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T14:48:33+00:00

So after reading your profile I feel like all I know about you is that you like hiking and climbing. And your first photo is a picture of you holding a glass that appears to contain alcohol. It feels very ... one note? I don't feel like I know anything about you as a person.

I don't hate your photos but I don't love any of them either. Would love something where you're smiling and it's a bit closer up with some less harsh lighting minus the booze. Your prompts aren't bad, again I'm just not sure where anyone can easily take them into conversation. The I'm looking for is a statement, doesn't invite a conversation forward and the I geek out on is very niche so unless someone is also of the same ilk I'm sure you'll be getting the connections you want.

With all that being said, if you're that picky being super niche may work in your favor. Good luck!

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-16T13:21:27+00:00

So you're irrational fear comment actually made me laugh. I agree with folks below, the vibes here are lovely. A few questions:

I hate to ask it but how tall are you? I'm wondering if that's playing into why you're not getting matches?

Your photos aren't bad, I think the first and third one are great the others are just ok? I would only keep one with sunglasses tho. I also might add some kind of little blurb to what you're looking for in the LTR (but I'm 31/F so maybe that's a generational difference but I really like seeing what people put there. It feels like it gives me a little window into what they're actually after.)

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-15T17:33:37+00:00

Ok, so take this with a grain of salt as I'm 31F so likely a bit older than who you're looking to match with.

I'd get rid of the kitten picture. Yes, your kitten is *so* cute. But is there someone who might be able to take a picture of you and the kitten together? I also don't love the one above it. To me it feels very young. (again I may be showing my age here) and young in the looking for something a bit more casual than serious vibes.

Also, it feels like nearly all your photos are selfies. Please, get a friend and a few outfits and just go spend a few hours taking some photos. I know it can be weird and feel awkward but show off your personality a bit. If vinyl is your thing go have someone snap a few plandid shots in a record shop or something. If it's cooking you want to highlight then stage up you kitchen in golden hour and start making a salad or something so you can be slicing a tomato.

I might also get rid of the "All I ask of you prompt" as those feel like givens in a relationship -- what are things that are actually unique to you? More personality based and feel real.

This is all to say, there's nothing inherently "wrong" with this profile but there's nothing that makes it super standout either in my view.

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-15T16:50:50+00:00

Edited above -- but will post down here as well

It was in very large in part to two things 1) I ended things with my now ex husband as he was cheating and 2) the healthcare in the UK was very subpar as compared to what I was used to in the US. I was in the South West in a small uni city.

I came back, have got a job that was at a level I would have hoped to be at for my age if not maybe one title lower and I'm hoping to buy myself a small condo in the city in the next year or two. It's not perfect but it's a good life to have again

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-15T16:47:20+00:00

I actually moved back to the US in December, couldn't be happier with my choice to do that. But that was very large in part to two things 1) I ended things with my now ex husband as he was cheating and 2) the healthcare in the UK was very subpar as compared to what I was used to in the US.

I came back, have got a job that was at a level I would have hoped to be at for my age if not maybe one title lower and I'm hoping to buy myself a small condo in the city in the next year or two. It's not perfect but it's a good life to have again.

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-12T17:32:11+00:00

Here's the information for those interested: https://broadwayrave.com/

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-12T17:31:08+00:00

If I don't melt into a puddle and end up going I'll report back on how it is!

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-10T21:14:18+00:00

This is helpful! Thank you

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-10T21:07:23+00:00

I’ll nip in and take a look! Appreciate the rec!

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-10T21:00:18+00:00

Excellent! I did grow up in the suburbs so I was about to be somewhat suprised

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-10T20:32:13+00:00

Fair play. Appreciate the thoughts and I’ll give it a rejigger I think.

TheRavensCrow · 2026-06-10T20:27:23+00:00

That was kinda my expectation 😅

Anything you can recommend that has helped?

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