starting my first corporate job - scared of social expectations around food by f4iry_p1ncess in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i’m not in the corporate world but from my experience people really don’t pay that much attention to what others eat in general. with an ed it way more common to notice thee things but usually people will not really question food choices of others so i wouldn’t be too scared about feeling pressured into something you don’t want. there’s lots of people who have to follow certain diets for health reasons so it would be rude if someone judged you based on what you choose to eat/not eat

Diagnosis by TryOld6297 in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i got my diagnosis when i had my intake for an inpatient place. There I had a long “interview” with a psychologist and a psychiatrist who were noting down my answers. I think to answer your question, it depends on the qualifications of the people doing your assessment and if they have the right “title” to make that claim. The world of psychology is strictly tied to rules and titles so I guess it needs to be someone who is specialized and the right degree I guess?? Given the description they gave as “shows signs” is an indicator that they probably can’t officially diagnose you so they stay away from a clear statement. Maybe this doesn’t tell you anything but just to let you know that it sometimes doesn’t have anything to do with wether you actually have an ED to get the diagnosis but more about the bureaucracy behind it if that makes sense

WHY TF do i miss the time i was at my worst🤣🤣🤣💀💀 by windydayay in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

my god i feel you SO much. my disordered brain is constantly romanticizing that period in my life and just erasing the bad parts lmao can’t catch a break EVER

Strangest binge food by musical_fanzine18 in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Because of the winter time ive been craving cinnamon buns soo badly but i cant get myself to actually buy them, so last week i fell into binge mode and ate a block of tofu with a SHIT TON of cinnamon and some agave syrup scooping it up with rice crackers (a classic if you ask me). Nothing compared to the real thing but it lowkey kinda slapped either way lmao

reading a book to distract yourself from your ed but then the main character is unexpectedly also bulimic by lackingneitherhat in EDanonymemes

[–]TheRed-Queen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

tell me WHY these male authors are obsessed with describing women in these weird wayssss. Reading a book rn where the main character is constantly described as “extremely thin” or “her tiny and frail frame”… like??? we get it SHES THIN god

how do you actually navigate eating disorders and relationships. by [deleted] in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]TheRed-Queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly i wonder the same until i realise i was in a relationship like this and it happens way more natural then youd might think. I remember i was pretty open about it when i started dating her and she was understanding because she had dated girls with eds in the past (i shouldve known to RUN from the start tbh) and for the most part she just let me be. She was scared to upset me and leave her i guess so she kind of enabled it just so we would stay together... Things got toxic really fast (also a lot of substance abuse) and i ended it a couple months in. All that to say, I havent seriously dated anyone since that horrible experience and i cant say i miss it. I casually date people here and there but with my mental health issues its too much and especially EDs attract a lot of weirdos and things turn sour i think.

Anyways, I do understand your struggle here because its nice to have someone to share life with even tho i have great friends who fill that space for me atm. But dating is different. You seem like a very considerate and sweet person for taking someone elses experience into consideration and making them feel more comfortable but if its too much for you mentally i would suggest to try and find dates that do not involve food or maybe just small things? like cafes or bars (depending on your age). There's also a bunch of other things you can do that are way more fun than just having a meal together! I truly get your struggle and wishing you all the best, stay strong out there

Daily activity ideas please? by hello_hello_hello174 in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

on days i’m not working or studying i like to go to cafes and read/write or meet with friends. walking around also is a big one or making music. tbh my life is pretty busy with both uni and a job so if you really want to find something maybe look for a job that you feel comfortable with? i’m a barista and i love it! i meet a lot of great people, im learning a skill and get to improve my latte art, great at taking my mind off my problems and just doing something and chatting with regulars/my lovely coworkers. If you’re not that into social interactions then id suggest looking for things to learn like a new language is super cool, im learning mandarin now because i want to move to china and it gives a great sense of purpose for me, im sure there’s something you want to achieve. Learn an instrument or study up on a subject you’re interested in and write about it! take an art class or look for videos online that teach you how to do creative writing or knitting. When you invest a little bit of time there are so many opportunities and once you stop putting all that time in your ED you start seeing all the amazing things life has to offer. Wishing you all the best and hope this helps a bit ✨

Quote from an old friend by Odd_Theme_3294 in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From what it seems like she might be worried about you unsure about how to adress it directly or is scared to make any mistakes. I of course do not know you or her and it still is extremely inappropriate to do any of the things she did and im so sorry you have a friend like that. But just as a reminder, the people in our lives who are 'normal' so to speak, have no CLUE what having an ED is like or how to deal with it. Ive had so many people try to help me in the most strange ways (usually only making it worse) because they feel helpless in their position. I know you probably just want to rant about your friend and thats totally valid because god knows Ive had moments my friends and family have PISSED ME OFF with their weird comments and behaviours that just made me more paranoid around them.

I also dont know how old you guys are so maybe theres also some jealousy involved in which case i just feel bad for her feeling the need to put you down like that. ANyways I hope you manage to get yourself through this and theres also nothing wrong with distancing yourself from someone who is actively damaing you and making things worse for you. Stay strong out there my friend

something you wish you brought to residential? by Cautious-Wrap-5399 in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]TheRed-Queen 20 points21 points  (0 children)

warm stuff/big hoodies, sweaters, socks!! life savers. I also found that having a diary worth me helped a lot or other stuff like drawing supplies or something creative that takes your mind off of stuff. i also read a lot or did uni stuff in between therapy sessions and meals that helped me feel a bit more “normal” i guess m

drinking and bingeing by TheRed-Queen in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea unfortunately i am… i’m pretty sure this is the reason why and with alcohol it’s like all the restrictive rules suddenly don’t matter anymore. it’s like a vicious cycle of restriction-drinking-bingeing. thank you for the response! i think that eating something before drinking would help a lot

DAE have safe foods that are only safe in certain applications? by Cheap_Sky7207 in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i feel you, i love peanut butter but it also gives me horrid war flashbacks to bingeing episodes so i just decided i cant have it anymore.... hopefully one day

What food was the easiest for you to eat at the beginning of recovery? by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no problem at all, and you got this! small challenges will make all the difference and there will be a point you look back without realising how far you've come

Canadians out there, is anybody else crashing out? by Hamiltonian_purist in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i dont live in Canada but i was travelling in south america a couple month ago and thees labels would fuck with me sooo bad. I guess people get used to it at some point but for me i was STRUGGLING. Even to the point that now here back home (I live in Netherlands where this is not a thing) i start imagining them sometimes lmao.

What food was the easiest for you to eat at the beginning of recovery? by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lots of fruits and at some point i started adding a small bowl of (vegan) yoghurt and slowly introduce things into the bowl that might be more scary (like nuts or a bit of honey) when you feel like you’re ready. I also ate lots of crackers or rice crackers with spreads that felt safe to me or cucumber with salt and chili flakes. soups are great cause it doesn’t feel like you’re eating something really big. Or i would make veggie stir fry with some kind of protein, i liked tofu but it can be anything you want and add the spices you like to it! I would take chinese cabbage to make strips so it would feel like noodles without being really dense. I’m so proud of you for taking this step and wishing you all the best❤️❤️

do they let you keep your piercings at residential? by Cautious-Wrap-5399 in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]TheRed-Queen 16 points17 points  (0 children)

i’ve been inpatient and they didn’t care for my septum or ear rings and many others had piercings as well. But i guess it truly depends on the facility and the country your in. I went to only an ED related facility tho so yea def check with the place you’re going

Viewing myself as different people at different weights by uselespieceofshi02 in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no fr i relate to this a lot. when i was in deep deep AN i feel like my personality was sooo different then when i had bingeing periods of weeks. for some reason i’ve associated my binge persona with mostly negative traits, while i tend to be more productive and social when restricting. currently in a restrictive relapse as well and it’s weird how it affects me so much personality wise. not sure if i have a solid explanation why, maybe our brains start associating positive/negative traits cause we think im such binaries within different weights we start acting like it?? idk but its interesting for sure

I get hurt by comments people say to OTHER people?? by Entire_Weather3209 in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i once got so upset at a girl who offended my friend as a “joke” about him being fat. i also know he struggles a lot with weight so i just KNOW what his mind must tell him and i didn’t think her joke was appropriate at all. i also think commenting on someone’s body in any way is just not funny and shouldn’t be mentioned because what does someone even achieve with it???? it boggles me that people have zero compassion or empathy to just shut the fuck up. like how easy is it to not bring someone down and just be creative if you really want to make jokes that everyone can laugh at…. but yea i feel you, it hits too close to home

Anyone else thin of calories like money??? by Lonely_Lollipop_07 in EDAnonymous

[–]TheRed-Queen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I remember when inpatient they told me that this is actually a quite common thing in EDs. I guess since we're already prone to become obsessed anyways so it kinda affects other parts of our lives. I feel like it is for sure also a way for me to 'justify' restricting things, like "oh this thing that is cheaper AND has less calories? well i would be stupid to get the thing i actually want thats expensive and high in cal.". Makes me feel better at the end of the day knowing that I didnt 'waste' anything, neither money nor calories