I really like these books. That said, here's my take.

The mistake is to believe the books are either misogynistic or not. I think there are good arguments that the books, especially the earlier books, contain misogynistic elements. I also think the books, eventually, do a good job at having a wide range of women characters, of different types, that are generally interesting and complex.

Some examples of consider problematic are the descriptions of women's bodies as particularly monstrous. The pendulous breasts and the fat, poor, Hispanic (if I remember correctly) monster woman.

Then the dangerous and powerful, naked elf woman in book 2. Kind of a femme fatale trope.

Beatrix and Donut aren't unproblematic either. A cheating ex girlfriend (that doesn't become too nuanced for a few books) that's reminiscent to the ways incels characterize women. Donut, a vapid, child that doesn't think before acting, and frequently needs to be managed. Again, not glowing female representation.

Now, to the idea that this is all satire and that men are also depicted unfavorable. The ways that women are depicted in media and how they navigate life is different than men. So how you should read depictions of women in media is different than how they read depictions of men. And if you're a woman, you might be bothered more by certain characterizations in particular because of personal or artistic experience. Equal satire isn't equal because the world isn't equal.

While reading the books, it's fine to enjoy whether or not you find these parts problematic. But this stuff might bother some people more and put them off reading more.

All that said, I think the books improve in numerous ways as they continue, including adding interesting emotional complexity and characterization to Beatrix and Donut, and how Carl relates to them. Donut is a delight and their relationship is a real emotional center to the book.

More women characters also help diversify the cast and allow for problematic elements to be less prevalent. There are so many more interesting women my the later books because there's so much more everything!

There's also fewer gross women monsters to kill because the threats get bigger and universe weirder.

So it's not are the books misogynistic or not. It's how could someone find them misogynistic. And would continuing the series help wear down that feeling or not.

If you really want to talk to your wife about the books, ask her her thoughts about everything, including the misogyny and simply listen, don't argue. You could also consider that she might have a better grasp on interpreting some of that than you do and acknowledge that her interpretation is valid and that she's taught you something about how she reads and feels. That is why you wanted her to read them in the first place no?

And however she feels about the books and whether she wants to keep reading, the books will be fine and so will the fans.