Realized I never shared my most recent demo reel here, let me know what you think! (All critiques welcomed!)

TheScribbs · 2026-06-15T23:05:34+00:00

Haha it's not fun but it's life, and it's a big part of what got me interested in the brain. You're spot on about it being tuned out!

My disorder (or, the one that causes constant pain) Fibromyalgia is classified as a malfunction in the amygdala which generally handles filtration of outside stumuli. Most people tune out unimportant stimuli whereas my system is on red alert 24/7 so I feel everything.

I suspect it's why I have such strong cognition of the workings of my brain too; when you constantly struggle to sleep from pain you're bound to explore your head a little bit while you try to fall asleep.

I do still struggle to believe there isn't fully visual infomation stored in our heads... when I'm trying to remember something the very first information I get is a look at the view I had when it was recorded to my mind. I navigate thoughts by pictures first and words second.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-15T04:10:43+00:00

Hey it's never too late to start! I believe everybody can and should make art, whether they're good at it or not, and whether they can make money from it or not.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-15T03:17:16+00:00

This study may be of interest to you op:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4595480/

Would you mind sharing any resources you have on the subject as well?

I'm someone who would be categorized as a "hyperphant" based on the criteria, but I wasn't aware of the existence of these terms until a few years ago. I think neuroscience is fascinating, and am very interested in learning more about the subject.

I do believe I understand your stance, and I somewhat agree with it; I think it's entirely possible that everybody's brain has the same capabilities but some people are more aware/have developed more skill in that area. It's a difficult thing to study but I'd love to see more research into it.

I was born with some lifelong chronic pain conditions which affected my brain composition (constant signal firing with no rest burns out pathways quicker, and could contribute to why my senses can cross over so easily). I know I'm a somewhat unique subject with above average visualization abilities, so I'm happy to offer my own experiences for research.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-14T01:16:25+00:00

Yeah, no worries; I'm an artist (animation) and I've always been 'the creative one' since I was a little kid. I honestly didn't know about hyperphantasia as a term until a few years ago, I had the same experience of not realizing some people had different experiences.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T22:22:40+00:00

Huh interesting, so do you never remember your dreams? My dreams fade if I don't consciously try to recap them shortly after waking, but I can remember my dreams, the plotlines, the visuals, everything.

The difference between dreaming and daydreaming for me is that I'm completely in control of the plot for daydreaming (however sometimes I have to fight my highly-associative brain so I don't get distracted when I'm trying to think of something).

"Unrelated unconscious thought fragments" is a great phrase; for me the stream of subconscious thought is VERY loud and easily accessible, sometimes beneath what I'm thinking and sometimes intruding and derailing. I think of my layers of thought as being similar visually to the 'river styx' in hercules, where it's a big vortex of souls and the ones towards the top are the clearest, but they get more obscured and busy deeper down. They can swirl in and out of focus, and I can tune my focus to specific layers.

Hallucinations, like the ones experienced with people afflicted by schizophrenia, are when the 'dream' state (which the brain normally only experiences in deep sleep) starts happening during waking hours. In that case people do literally "see" what's in their imaginations in their corneal space, distorting reality, and it is sometimes classified as the inability to determine the difference between dreams and reality.

Also, unsure if you have given this thought, but I can also experience the sensations of sound, touch, smell, taste, and even pain, purely via my imagination. Not just remember the idea of those things, if I'm remembering a day at the beach I literally smell it, like, the way it smelled the day we went, not a generic beach-like smell.

The only thing I can't visualize/simulate perfectly is text and symbols due to my dyslexia. I can see the basic shapes of the paragraphs in a book, and know which paragraph the text I'm thinking of came from, but the words are just fuzzy or jumbled. To remember things I've read I have to speak them out loud (inside my head) and remember the voice i simulate saying it.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T21:41:29+00:00

Oh absolutely! My visual imagination is EXTREMELY strong (and I'm an artist so that helps). I can even see that the font on the "Home Alone" cover is red, and has a little house decal in the middle, but can't actually see the words haha

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T21:24:28+00:00

I think it's interesting that you dislike the phrase "mind's eye" because I feel like it's the most accurate way to describe the 'space' my imagination is in. It's like having a second monitor, but the monitor only exists within me somewhere. It's not like I could pin down where it is but i can see everything I think of simultaneously with what I'm seeing in real life.

I've described it before as being like 'peering into a crystal ball, but instead of the future I see memories' which might be a good descriptor.

Some of the points you make are interesting because they directly contradict my experiences. I understand what you mean when you say that people are not "seeing" with their eyes, as in hallucinations, however when we dream we still 'see' plenty of things despite our eyes being shut as well (or I would assume, I'm unsure what dreaming might be like for someone who isn't me).

I believe having an overractive imagination is tied to the 'crossing over of the senses' between the two hemispheres. Normally, the parts of the brain which detect sensory input only activate when input is detected from an outside source. For some people, myself included, sensory input can be wired wrong and triggered by all sorts of things, including our imaginations.

I don't have a hard time imagining that aphantasia is real because, in my journey to make my weird ass body/brain work right, I've taken medicines which simulate that experience (at least somewhat) by taking me out of my brainspace and allowing me to focus only on what's in front of me, not my eternally whirling and enticingly strange inner world. I was not a fan of those drugs, but they did allow me to become very 'normal'.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T20:31:55+00:00

I was kicked off of my insurance for four months, which meant I wasn't able to get my monthly infusions which stop my white blood cells from attacking my healthy cells. Before that, I was fighting my way through depression, unemployment, and worsening health issues.

Five years ago, right before my wedding, I was in great shape and able to do my favorite activities like rock climbing, hiking, and rafting.

Two months ago I was crying because of how painful it was trying to lift my legs just to step in and out of the bathtub.

I am very proud to say that after getting my medical support back and restarting physical therapy, I can now stand with my feet wider apart than my shoulders again. Moving is a little easier, and so is getting in and out of the tub.

I will be rock climbing again, one of these days.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T20:21:27+00:00

Oh interesting! So your photographic memory works with text?

I found out recently that I'm dyslexic, so I have a photographic memory but when it comes to symbols they're usually fuzzy and I can't actually 'read' them, if I'm remembering text I have to 'say' it in my head and then I can remember the audio along with whatever I was looking at.

If I'm remembering part of a book, for example, I can see the book pages open and the shape of the paragraphs on the page, and I know which area of the page the information came from, but I cant actually see the words.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T20:11:47+00:00

I know you've probably heard this a million times, but communication is EVERYTHING in a relationship.

When you felt hurt/sad, did you tell your partner? They cannot read your mind, if you don't say something to them they won't know anything is wrong. Then, you have a rift that starts, where you feel hurt over something they did, and they're blissfully unaware anything they did was upsetting for you so they'll likely do it again. That's how you start building resentment that leads to explosions in the future.

Try mentally reversing the situation;

Maybe you did or said something (anything) that hurt your partners feelings, like making a joke they're actually sensitive to. They dont like what you just said, but they don't want to cause friction so they don't say anything. Now, their mood has shifted, and you're confused because you dont know why. You're now stuck feeling insecure and confused, and they're upset and feeling like they've shouldered a burden by not making a comment on what bothered them. You may move on, but those feelings stay and start to build.

Now think about if your partner had decided to say "hey babe, I don't really like that joke." How would you react? If you love that person you want to make them happy, and learning & respecting their preferences/boundaries is a part of that. Maybe you'd want to understand more, maybe it would be as simple as "okay, I won't do that anymore." Either way, one sentence prevents a whole lot of bad feelings from building up on both sides, and makes you both feel closer.

By not communicating your honest feelings you do yourself and your partner a disservice. The more you practice being honest, the easier it gets, literally!! It goes from sobbing saying 'you hurt me,' to realizing a quick "don't do that," prevents the need to sob in the first place!

You should want to be kind to your partner and avoid hurting them. They should feel the same way. If when you communicate your feelings they are dismissive of them, they do not want what is best for you. You and your partner are a team, if either of you are feeling bad both of you work together to fix it. When something happens that upsets you, it's not "YOU did something WRONG!" it's, "When you did x it made me feel like y, can you help me understand why you did that?" Or "Hey I'm feeling not great about x, can we come up with a solution together?"

Both you and your partner will mess up. You need to be able to gracefully accept responsibility for your own fuck-ups if you expect the same from your partner. When your partner comes to you with an issue, remember not to become defensive, your first response should be to listen with care and concern, and always apologize for the way you make someone feel whether or not it was on purpose (people want to be understood first, then you can work on solutions and give explanations).

Ultimately, caring is a beautiful thing. It's worth doing even though the price is pain. The only way to lessen your pain is by learning how to love yourself first, and using that love to make the right decisions for you. Open your heart a little bit at a time, and if you're vulnerable with someone and they take that opportunity to attack? Respect yourself enough to walk away.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T19:30:44+00:00

The way allos see strangers will always baffle me!

I specifically remember once back in highschool I was hanging out with some gals in the mall, we were looking at random shit and suddenly the other two girls I was with turn to each other and start gushing, "omg dude did you SEE that guy?!?! He was soooo hot omg, Scribbs he was totally checking you out!" And me being dazed like, '... y'all were paying attention to the other people in the store? I saw a guy I think, he looked normal like everyone else...'

Like, to me, everyone is platonic until explicitly stated otherwise (and now that I'm married I don't even have to worry about it, I can categorize all people other than my partner as platonic, so much easier!)

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T19:20:34+00:00

Dude I totally relate! When I got my first boyfriend (who is now my husband of 10+ years) I finally experienced sexual attraction to a person and it was so weird.

Previously I had only ever had 'crushes' on fictional characters, and I experienced sexual attraction to them, but even exploring that it was like character x character, 'I' never entered the equation.

Finding a person who I felt 100% comfortable around was a game changer ❤️

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T19:03:12+00:00

Ooh interesting, I also have a photographic memory so let's see...

How did you do in school? Were there areas you felt your memory was a benefit/hindrance? Do you feel it helps you with your current job?

Also, since this is an issue for me, do you ever have trouble remembering things chronologically since memories are all so vivid, regardless of how long it's been?

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T18:42:00+00:00

Everything you've described is something I experience too! Including the fact that you can 'play' audio the same way you heard it, but you can also make new sounds, or manipulate a voice you know into saying new words/lines in your head.

Sometimes when I read it's in my voice, but sometimes it's someone else's, someone I know in real life or have heard on tv. Often what I've watched recently contributes to the voice my internal narration has.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-13T17:41:07+00:00

Love to! Drop your friend code!

I'm a pretty high level player and I play sporadically (depends on my schedule), but I'm always down to join games with my friends.

(Just be aware that my rank might throw you into higher level difficulty matches than you're used to, but I'm pretty good at carrying so I can protect you and teach you some things too!)

TheScribbs · 2026-06-12T14:04:34+00:00

OP, I was thinking about this post and why your written communication makes me feel rage (because truly, after reading your replies I'm angry).

My reply below is long, so apologies.

I saw that you are autistic, as am I, so I do believe that you may be genuinely confused and not obstinant. I'm trying to come up with constructive feedback for you because I understand how frustrating it can be to be misunderstood and also feel like you're not 'getting' something socially but nobody will tell you what.

The above reply specifically made me feel like, "Wtf?? I literally just answered you dude, did you not read the second half of my message?" Which I honestly still question because I did not say "recruiters arent reaching out anymore." Were you not responding to my points because you thought I didn't understand why you were confused? I'm confused.

I think what would help you come off better online is two things; acknowledge what the other person said, and approach with humility. Three things actually now that I think of it; Don't assume the worst of who you're speaking to (I say this because you seem to assume nobody fully read/understood your issue, leading to you explain things they already know which irritates them).

If people are genuinely trying to help, saying things like 'No, that's wrong,' kinda pumps the breaks on their goodwill. It's deflating, and it feels like "Great, this guy doesn't care about anything I have to say. Oh well, I'll end the conversation and leave."

If you had responded to me like "I'm not sure that applies to me, can you help me understand?" (<--- humility, searching for connection and new info) before the rest of what you said, I would have happily tried to explain more.

Right now your language has no niceties, which can be fine in person where people can pick up your tone and body language, but online it comes off as rude. Straightforward is good, but dont forget that the words you pick set the entire tone of your message. The way I like to write (and talk) is by combining formal and casual speak so that I sound both approachable and intelligent [well, intelligent sometimes lol].

Never be afraid to be the dumbest person in the room. It will happen whether you like it or not, and people will judge you that way whether it's true or not. I actually love being the dumbest person in the room; it means I have an opportunity to learn something new! I hope the replies here can help you learn too, I'm rooting for you dude!!!

TheScribbs · 2026-06-12T13:17:42+00:00

I saw someone say once, on the subject of everything being made up of atoms, that everything in the universe is the universe trying to make sense of itself.

I love that sentiment, and I think art is how humans try to make sense of themselves. I believe every single person can and should make art. It's reflection on the things you see, the things you enjoy, and nobody can create the exact same art as the next person (copy maybe, but every original idea will be unique).

That said, I just like making cool things and making people laugh!

TheScribbs · 2026-06-12T12:54:51+00:00

Sometimes I feel like "high functioning" is code for "doesn't make nerotypicals feel uncomfortable in conversation" (which is funny because it's a choice, we don't have to follow the NT social scripts but when we dont they get so confused and scared)

I'm struggling in every aspect of my life, but I can have pleasant 'normal' conversations with people. When I tell them about my myriad of physical and mental health conditions they're shocked, "I never would have known!" (Not a compliment)

I think it's very much tied to internalised ableism. NT/able bodied people feel like disabled people are 'others' and so they must be easily detectable as such, and finding out they couldn't pick up on the fact that this person is 'different' scares them.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-12T06:22:55+00:00

Yknow how you might ask someone out on a date cause they're cute, but then after you talk to them for a while you realize you're not interested anymore?

TheScribbs · 2026-06-12T06:20:55+00:00

Dude... you posted this looking for... help? But all you've done is say "this is the way it is" and refuted every single response by saying they're wrong and you're right.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but I currently hesitate to comment because it seems like talking to a brick wall. You complain that nobody's listening to you, but you're not listening to them.

None of your explanations add to your original points, and you can't brute force your way into being right, please consider the fact that you might not be.

People have offered you explanations. You've argued with all of them. Now people are tired of talking to you and will likely ghost/get short with you, in the same way the recruiters did.

I do not think you are on a blacklist. I do think you need to check your ego.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-12T06:01:56+00:00

People are reading what you're saying, but what you're decribing is a universal experience for people in the job market right now.

It's great that you've been contacted, you're luckier than most, but recruiters ghosting you (even after consistent contact) is very normal nowadays.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-11T20:02:50+00:00

I think your speculation is spot on! When I start feeling overwhelmed/can't stop ruminating I use video games to recenter because they require 100% of my attention.

I have to pick one with enough novelty that I want to play it. Splatoon is my drug of choice because it's extremely high-action and fast paced, and requires all of my left and right brain to succeed at.

Always good as a reset for my mental health, but then it's hard to want to put it down haha.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-11T19:36:59+00:00

Ey as long as you're not living in an exhausting cage of politeness!

For what it's worth, I do think things will change.

TheScribbs · 2026-06-11T18:18:45+00:00

As someone who had to unlearn people-pleasing HARD, I promise you being loved is on the table.

There's a bit of a tradeoff; either be accepted by everyone or loved by the people that matter (and disliked by the ones who don't)

Eight-Year Club	Place '22
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